‘You’re not getting old. You look younger every day. You need to find a mountain with a nice spring and some —’
‘I don’t have time for pine nuts and springwater. Go away,’ I said. We rose and shook hands. ‘Thanks, Ah Guang, I appreciate your time. And props for getting the Archivist to talk to me.’
‘No problem at all,’ he said.
When I reached the door, I found it was stuck closed. The clatter of cups and the murmur of conversation ceased and the room became eerily silent; everybody in the coffee shop except Ma and myself had disappeared.
I didn’t mess around: I summoned the Murasame and it appeared in my hand. Ma took Celestial Form: a red-garbed warrior with flames on his robes and bright red hair down to his waist. A pyramid-shaped gold brick appeared in his left hand and a sword in his right.
‘Do you know what’s caused this?’ I said.
‘Wong Mo,’ he said, and gestured towards the door. ‘Incoming.’
Life continued as usual outside the shop windows; nobody noticed that I was holding a long black sword and standing next to a ten-foot-tall, red-robed god.
The doorbell rang. Ma was right: it was the King of the Demons, in normal human form, wearing a maroon silk shirt and black jeans, his blood-coloured hair held back in a ponytail. He spread his arms. ‘Emma, sweetheart, you don’t need that thing with me. I’m here to help.’ He saluted Ma. ‘Magistrate Ma of the Only True Power.’
Ma nodded back. ‘Wong Mo.’
I dismissed the sword. ‘Now I know why Simone hates being called “sweetheart”.’
The Demon King gestured towards the table where Ma and I had been sitting. ‘May I speak to you alone, Lady Emma?’
‘Anything you have to say, you can say in front of my most trusted lieutenant,’ I said.
‘Bah, she should be your lieutenant,’ the Demon King said to Ma. ‘You’re a heavenly general, one of the leaders of the Heavenly Host, right hand to the Dark Lord himself, and here you are babysitting a young female mortal.’
‘Just goes to show how far apart we are,’ Ma said. He moved to stand behind me as a Retainer.
I sat at the table. ‘Now, what did you want to talk to me about?’
‘You’re searching for ways to clear the demon essence from you. Just let me do it, dear Emma, and you can be ready for him when he returns.’
I rose again. ‘If that’s all you’re here for, you’re wasting your time.’
He spread his hands without rising. ‘Maybe we can negotiate something.’
‘As long as it involves me prostituting myself to you, we have nothing to talk about.’
He didn’t move, hands still spread. ‘As I said, maybe we can negotiate something.’
‘What do I have that you want, except for demon spawn?’ I said.
‘Oh, many things,’ he said, jolly. ‘Safe passage Above, certain Celestials who have been a complete pain in the ass to me, some homely women … There are any number of things I could name.’
‘I do not negotiate with demons,’ I said stiffly.
He leaned over the table and grinned at me. ‘You’re doing it again.’
‘Good,’ I said. ‘That means I know exactly how to deal with you.’
‘Whatever,’ he said, and rose.
Noise clashed around us and the people in the coffee shop reappeared. Ma quickly changed back to his usual human form.
‘Let me send you some suggestions of what would be a suitable trade for your humanity,’ the King said. ‘Have a look through, and if you see something you like, let me know. You still have my phone, don’t you?’
‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘Neat trick how it always changes to the latest model.’
‘Only the best for my Emma,’ he said, and disappeared.
‘Doing what again?’ Ma said.
‘Sounding like John,’ I said.
He nodded. ‘That you do sometimes.’
‘Do you think I’m his Serpent, Ma?’
‘You’ve been in the same room as his Serpent, ma’am, and not even he can be in three places at the same time.’ His face changed to thoughtful. ‘No, I take that back. I don’t think there’s much that he can’t do.’
‘Thanks for that, that was just what I needed to hear,’ I said. I nodded to him, more serious. ‘And thanks for hanging around.’
‘I would have been more comfortable leaving and letting you face him alone as a display of my faith in you,’ he said. ‘But protocol demanded that I remain in my capacity as Retainer.’
‘I know, and I appreciate it. Either way.’
‘I’ve given your secretary the details of your appointment with the Archivist,’ Ma said. ‘Talk to him before you go traipsing off to see Nu Wa; you may be able to avoid seeing her altogether. The Heavens know, last time someone visited her it caused a war.’
‘Nobody’s been to see her since the Shang/Zhou?’ I said.
He shook his head. ‘Nobody’s been brave enough.’
‘Would a visit annoy her? I really don’t want to walk into the home of one of the most powerful Shen in creation if she’s pissed.’
‘Impossible to tell. Nobody’s spoken to her in thousands of years. Even before that, she was a recluse. You know the stories: she is as ancient as time and as powerful as nature. Approach her cautiously.’
‘If the Archivist can help me, I won’t have to approach her at all.’
‘That would be the ideal situation.’
He saluted me quickly and we went out together. I took the lift back up to the Academy; he disappeared.
CHAPTER 9
When I returned to my office the White Tiger was stretched across the doorway in True Form. Even lying down he was nearly a metre tall.
I glared at him. ‘What are you doing here? I just left your palace last night. And how am I supposed to get any work done when I can’t get into my office?’
‘You and Ah Wu are as bad as each other, working your asses off,’ the Tiger said without moving. ‘A real leader delegates everything and spends their time eating and screwing. I only need to work at most about ten minutes a day, and even then it’s just “yes” or “no”. When are you going to learn?’
‘I prefer a more hands-on approach and less eating and screwing,’ I said. I gestured towards him. ‘Get out of the damn way.’
‘Yeah, well in your case, with the vegetarianism and celibacy, you might as well be hands-on and keep yourself distracted. I don’t know how you do it.’ He rose, stretched out his front legs like a house cat and scraped his claws on the carpet. ‘I need to talk to you.’
‘Don’t tear up my carpet!’ I said.
He moved to one side and I opened the office door to let us both in.
‘Shall I order a cat-scratching post, ma’am?’ Yi Hao called from her desk.
‘Yes, please,’ I called back, and closed the door on