I got four yes’s and I was like, ‘Come on, this is going to happen for me!’ I knew if I got past that point I could go all the way.
I was so nervous that I nearly backed out, but my mum said, ‘I’ve never asked you to do anything for me, but I want you to try and do this.’ I really didn’t want to go, and I only agreed because I didn’t want to let her down – and I said I wasn’t going to tell anyone I was going.
I was wearing a little hippy dress and a headband and I felt like I must be sticking out like a sore thumb because everyone else was looking really cool, or wearing fancy-dress costumes to try and get noticed. I thought I looked too normal stood next to Superman!
In the end I got given a golden ticket after my first audition, which meant that I was through to the next round. That’s when I thought there could be something in it after all!
Eventually I made it all the way through the initial three auditions, and then I had to wait to find out if I was going to sing in front of the judges. I was so happy, but so, so terrified.
When I got a call from The X Factor inviting me to audition for the judges I wanted to jump up and down and scream. I was shopping at the time with a friend of mine and I told her I’d got a call about a job interview. I still didn’t want people to know I was auditioning, in case I didn’t make it.
It was the best feeling being able to go home and tell my mum that I’d got through. She was so excited for me, and I was very happy – she’d promised to buy me an iPhone if I did well. It was a big incentive for me, because my phone was absolutely rubbish.
My family and I travelled all the way to Glasgow once again for the main audition, and everyone in the waiting room was singing dead loudly while they waited for their turn and seemed really confident.
I felt like I didn’t deserve to be there. I was so timid and shy, and I was getting interviewed constantly. I was literally shaking, and I turned to my dad and said I didn’t think I could go through with it. He turned round and said, ‘Look, even I’d be nervous if I had to do those interviews. You’re not used to doing them, but you know you can sing, so being on stage will be the easy part. Get up there and show them what you can do.’ That totally stuck in my head.
Just as I was about to go out to perform I heard the X Factor theme music belting out and I thought I was going to be sick. Dermot was chatting to me and being really sweet, which made me feel calmer, but I was still feeling breathless.
When I was standing at the side of the stage waiting to go on, I saw the judges and it didn’t feel like it was real. One of the researchers told us that the judges had given out loads of no’s and wanted to see something special, so I walked out with a big smile on my face and waved to try and make an impression.
I sang ‘You Oughta Know’ by Alanis Morissette, and Tulisa stopped me pretty quickly. She and Louis didn’t really like me, but Kelly said I’d blown the roof off the place, and Gary also liked me a lot. Tulisa said she wasn’t blown away by me, and I was thinking that I was going to be sent home.
I sang Beyonce’s ‘Ave Maria’ a cappella, and just before I hit a high note Kelly Rowland threw her pen in the air, and it hit Tulisa on the head! Everyone started arguing about me again and Kelly was whacking the table. Even though Louis and Tulisa weren’t totally sure about me, I got four yes’s in the end, and I ran off screaming and crying.
My family and I went and stayed in a hotel and had a nice dinner and it was so good. It was the best way to celebrate and one of the happiest moments of my life.
Jesy getting ready for The Brits
The first night of Bootcamp was crazy. Everyone had a big party in one of the hotels, and funnily enough some of the only people who left and went to bed early were me, Jesy, Perrie and Leigh-Anne. We all knew that opportunities like that don’t come along often, and I didn’t want to blow it for the sake of a party.
The next day a huge chunk of the contestants got sent home, and when I looked at who it was, most of them were the ones who had been partying late. I think it was a bit of a test for everyone involved.
I was put in a few groups with a real mixture of people. I was hanging out a lot with Johnny Robinson, who is so lovely. I was moved from group to group and told no three times, and my head was all over the place. It was one of the best and worst experiences I’ve ever had.
X Factor tour outfits
Several of us were told that we were good but we weren’t strong or confident enough, and that’s when they decided to try and put together some girl groups. At first I didn’t like the idea at all, but as soon as I was put with Jesy and Leigh-Anne it felt right, because we were already sort of friends.
I was aware of Perrie as well, because she’s from the same area as me and we know a lot of the same people. I’d tried to track her down but I hadn’t been able to, then I ended up sitting next to her when they were divvying up the groups and we got on straight away. She was worried that her look was really different and she didn’t fit in with anyone. At one point she was crying and I really felt for her. I remember wishing that she could have joined up with us.
Jesy then got moved into Perrie’s group, and all of a sudden we were rivals. Leigh-Anne and I had never heard Perrie sing, and when we did… wow! We thought we had no chance compared to Perrie and Jesy’s group, but then neither of our groups got picked.
At that moment I just knew we were going to get put together. For some reason I had this gut feeling. It sounds cheesy but I do think it was fate.