I wasn’t at all sporty and I ran like a headless chicken. Sports Day was often on my birthday as well, and if so I wouldn’t go in to school because it totally ruined the day for me.
I loved English and I really enjoyed writing stories and poems, which I guess is a bit like writing songs. I joined the choir in my early teens but I never got the leads because I was too shy. Then later on I took drama for GCSE and I was Alice in Alice in Wonderland, which helped me with my confidence.
After school I went to Newcastle College to do Advanced Performing Arts and in the first year I had a real laugh. But in the second year I was in different classes to my friends and I felt really lonely. I was also always being told by my teachers that my voice was ‘too pop’, which was frustrating. But my form teacher, Steve, was so encouraging and he always made me feel like I was on the right path.
All I wanted to do as a career was sing, but I had to do dance in my classes as well so I got a bit knocked when I didn’t do very well. But Steve helped me to get past that and keep focused on what I wanted.
While I was at college I decided to try out for The X Factor. I’d heard that they were doing auditions in Newcastle. My mum encouraged me to apply, so I went for it, thinking I had nothing to lose and everything to gain!
Perrie on her mam’s knee
I was terrified about being told no in the very first round. If I fell at the first hurdle it would mean I was worse than I had been the previous couple of times I’d tried out.
Every other year I’d gone along trying to impress the judges and thought too much about what I was going to wear and sing, so I decided to totally be myself. I was wearing giraffe-patterned trousers and a little waistcoat and I probably looked a bit weird, but I didn’t care!
Thankfully all of the judges said they liked me. Louis remembered me from before, and Tulisa said I must have had a lot of determination to keep coming back again. I sang an acoustic version of The Beatles’ ‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand’, and Gary said he really liked it – and my voice and what I’d done with the track. I was so relieved. Kelly said she liked my voice but didn’t think I was confident enough and that I should be in a girl group. I automatically pulled a face, then I remember Kelly saying, ‘Hey, what’s wrong with being in a girl band?’ I thought she meant like a Kandy Rain-type band with sexy outfits – I would have hated doing that!
In the end I got four yes’s and I should have been happy, but I kept thinking about what Kelly had said and wondered if she was right.
I was so happy I’d got through to Bootcamp again, but because that’s where I’d been sent home before I felt wary and scared about going.
I always like to be a bit different and a bit eccentric with what I wear, and I knew I had to stand out, so I wore some army combat shorts, stripy socks, Mickey Mouse trainers and a Donald Duck top.
I didn’t want to sing something like Adele, because I knew everyone else would be doing that, so I chose a track called ‘Bust Your Windows’ by a lady called Jazmine Sullivan. I’ve got quite a soulful voice, so the song really suited me.
I was terrified doing that audition, because you have to go into a little booth with one person and sing to them. They’re so close up to you and it’s really embarrassing. You can hear all the other people auditioning around you too, which is so off-putting. I’d been told that they only give out a certain number of golden tickets – which guarantees your entry into the next round – so when three of the people ahead of me got golden tickets I calmed down a bit because I thought they’d probably given them all out anyway.
I walked in and told the guy in the booth my name and started singing. I could see him tapping his foot, then I beat boxed, and I think that’s why I got through – because it was different from what other girls had done. He handed me a golden ticket and I was in total shock. The guy told me to prepare some more songs for my main audition but to wear the same thing.
I had to be up at 6am to get to my main audition with the judges. My friends Shane and Solitaire and my mum were with me for support. I was third on stage out of everyone at the London dates, and I was terrified to the point where I was shaking and could hardly breathe. I couldn’t bear the thought of the audience booing me or something. That would have been awful.
In the end it was all such a blur. I didn’t see anyone in the audience, so it felt like it was just me and the judges in the room. After I sang I wanted to cry, because I knew it had gone wrong. Gary Barlow really didn’t get me at all, and I remember being gutted. To me he seemed to be the Simon Cowell of the panel – the one that everyone wants to impress. He said he didn’t like the audition and didn’t think I had any potential whatsoever, and at that point I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I was mortified that everyone would see that bit when it was on telly.
Tulisa and Louis both said I had a lot of potential, and Kelly said she could see me in a girl group. Even that left me feeling really disheartened though because I thought it meant I wasn’t good enough to do it on my own.
I came off with three yes’s, but because Gary hadn’t given me a thumbs up I still burst into tears. Dermot was hugging me backstage and asking if they were happy tears, but they weren’t. I was absolutely gutted that he’d said no.
When I got home I became adamant that I wasn’t going to go to Bootcamp because there was no point. My mum was desperately trying to convince me that I’d be okay, but I wasn’t interested. In the end she told me I had nothing to lose, and I realised she was right. It would have been a massive opportunity missed.
When the time finally came to face Gary, Tulisa, Kelly and Louis I’d just got back from a holiday in Ibiza. I’d been partying quite a lot, so my voice was suffering a bit. I was also really tired, and I felt cross with myself that I wasn’t up to scratch.
I was wearing shorts, a vest top, socks and braces, and I was standing on stage looking out at the audience thinking, ‘I’m never going to get through this.’ I felt like I was watching the whole thing on TV. It was so weird. The first song I sang was Rihanna’s ‘Only Girl