It is from the Toltec realm of knowledge that has allowed me to craft a safe way of being with the very mind-scape that I am presently dealing with in this whole Hunch Hunch unfolding. The bodies of notions held in ones head, accumulated over many years do not just sit there like a dusty library, there is a living dynamic that seems to want to thread through them all and sew them together. Sewing it all together is not something that I could set out to do personally, but there is this other thing going on where if I get out of the way it will sort of do it all itself. That is the realization that is coming from my Hunch Hunch and its brief though powerful -Find it All in the Shadows- message.
My take from the Toltec suggests that if life itself is an unfolding of gendered warring contentions it would be best to approach the unfolding in the attitude of a Warrior.
Which brings us to another dimension of this whole adventure of playing with the notion of “esoteric”. There is something hidden, something beguiling, something alluring, something seductive about pondering deeply into anything that you want to ponder deeply into. Esoteric means hidden and obscured and as stated you may get to actually find that which you didn't really know you were looking for. I discovered along the way of my ponder travels that the notion of lexigraphy in regard the pondering of the values hidden in the simple basic humble word may reveal something that broadens, extends, amplifies or surprises you when you are looking into a word.
For example my mind was remembering my look into war-ri-or 'War' is the force and power found in the dynamics of dealing with hostility, rivalry, or things of a contentious nature, the sobering and definite work of the reconcile of opposites.
'ri' I found in the dictionary as a word fragment that suggested that it is the approach of the jocose rather than the serious, is the approach of a smiling, joyful, sportive, playful attitude, an enlightened means to hold objectivity and subjectivity in balanced union, to identify duality as a polarity and bring polarity into balance, to find resolution for paradox, to craft gender to balanced union resulting in creating values beyond the sum of their parts, to play the tensions of reality as a life song.
'or' is the noun forming agent which in this word identifies one who is in the state or condition of.
My Hunch Hunch was activating my memory of looking into the word warrior, as the relevance tendrils were seeking to satisfy the most important part of my being now in this mind-scape, activated by my following wild fancy. I required to feel grounded in myself, to feel that despite what was whirling around and around in my mind-scape I could function sensibly and usefully in my normal, everyday, mundane existence. I need to know that my amplified mind-scape was not going to unduly affect my life in general.
So being only this day from being home I was in my captive meditation going through a grounding process, a process where I could feel I could utilize my new found living mind coloring, in a way that enhanced everything else I required to do in my day to day. I could see that the mechanations of what is the consequences of my following the google map and all that has unfolded from it would continue to be productive. I needed to wear the mood of the warrior so that I could direct the living vibe of my mind toward producing something. I could see that if I did not there was the very real potential that my mind could potentially spin around and around in circles resulting in my being more dizzy than I usually seemed to be.
I was wearing a sense of impending challenge due to all that had unfolded, which was at the same time bizarre, as practically all that was happening was, I was needing to deal with a jolly mental phantasm of my own making. My Tweedledee and Tweedledum Tweedle-verse were whacking between each other perspectives of my present reality around like a tennis match. From mystical revelation to nutty madness and all in between were my intermittent conclusions.
So like I have mentioned my relevance tendrils were pointing me toward setting up a firm foundation upon which to deal with the unfolding I was journeying through, and that foundation was simply to hold the stance of a warrior toward the energies that where whirling around me. Whirling tweedle-verse opposing values that were inescapable and required a firm management strategy.
Ok I was beginning to feel more relaxed as to my actually arriving home and having a strategy for settling back into normality. Thank you Toltec Wisdom, my mind was suggesting I cultivate a way of being that may deal with any thing that unfolds, cultivate the way of being as the suggested warrior of wisdom on the path of knowledge.
To appreciate the mind-scape I was now helplessly needing to learn to live with, I began to remember my experiences of psychedelics that I have had over the years. I have only ventured into that reality challenging realm a dozen or so times, enough to feel the astonishing depth that exists around we all every minute of our existence, enough to realize that the universe we are in is profoundly more than we presently know or can know. It would seem our brain is a tool we have been blessed with so as to filter out the astonishing enormity we are all a microscopic speck among-st, just so we can simply continue to ex-is-t. When in the depths of a psychedelic experience it can be overwhelming, a sensory over load, a timeless eternity that needs to be waited out, needs to be waded through whether you like it or not, it can also be a timeless eternity of endless bliss fascination and wonder. Both options exist.
My tweedle-verse concept had become a notion this morning on my captive meditation walk home. In this ongoing mind adventure my whirling thoughts were grabbing at all manner of things, for instance what was a 'concept' my mind was asking. All con and com words indicate a coming together, a contract with situation. And 'cept' is like a receiving and cept sounds like sept which is seven, seven indicates a severing and the notion of seven is the most mystical of numbers, it can not be constructed with a compass and straight edge like other numbers it can only be approximated. Geometer s say it cannot be born from the vesica pisces and has a presence which exists outside of the principals of other numbers, it is referred to as the virgin number as no number in the number line before it can divide it. The whole con-sept of tweedle-verse and the ongoing never ending bickering’s between my own perceived Tweedledee-and-Tweedledum-ness was a new notion which seemed to have arrived in line with the whole unfolding of the morning.
My suspicious mind had identified the anomaly in the poor old humble google map, my curious mind had convinced me to contribute a big effort to follow up on the “what if”, my humble mind had accepted that I was simply a victim of my own wild imagination and had presented the “yes buts”, my ever expectant mind was well satisfied to stumble upon the overhanging rock and ultimately the piece of paper and its message and had presented the “what the ? ”, my ever present mind was now identifying the reality of a hunch hunch and that it may exist as a sort of mystical thing which had come to inhabit my overall mind as some sort of living growth that seemed to be wanting to grow like some golden tendril threads, seeking to sew together the collective fragments of thoughts thought over a very long time, to bring together notions which are scattered through my life long developed mind-scape.
My deductive mind was seeing that there was something going on in my own mind and that there were real forms called thoughts or notions which although were swimming around separately and distinctly different to each other and were in fact all swimming together in the same pond. That pond being my own mind and then my inductive mind pondered all the disparate fragments captive together had to be connected by virtue of being trapped together in the same mind. My crazy mind was wondering if all these particular thoughts that were for what ever reason trapped in my particular mind could be sewn together whether they liked it or not. My limitless mind suggested that the universe is full of infinite notions, and as I was observing there is a living autonomous process that has the capacity to access notions that one has never pondered, to access notions that one has never read or heard from the smorgasbord of captured notions that exist