“It is what it is,” Aurora said. “He literally ran to my gate and begged me not to leave. I mean, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I was so young and naïve.”
“No, you were not,” Tessa said. “Do not blame yourself.”
“He didn’t even have a ring to propose with.”
“Aurora,” Tessa said as she touched Aurora’s arm, “there is no need to talk about this anymore. It is only making you upset and it is in the past now.”
“You’re right,” Aurora said. “Let’s start packing.”
Aurora stared at the couch where she and Gannon would sit and binge watch Netflix. All she could see was a vision of her friend and Gannon kissing. Aurora clenched her jaw and fists as she thought, I wonder how long Gannon and Shazzy have been doing this with one another.
Aurora and Tessa went to her office to pack up some of her things.
“Wow, Tessa,” Aurora said. “I will never forget the time he kicked my desk chair out from underneath me and bruised my whole left hip. It took months for that bruise to go away.”
“Aurora, I can’t believe I never knew.”
“I know it is uncomfortable to hear, but it happened,” Aurora said. “I still have photos of the bruises on my phone.”
“Why did you never show them to the police?”
“I don’t know.” If people only knew why it is just so hard to up and leave an abusive relationship.
“Well, you need to get yourself a lawyer,” Tessa said. “And when you do, as hurtful as it will be, show this to them.”
“Come here and look at my phone,” Aurora said. Aurora pulled up the picture that showed the bruise marks on her hip.
“Oh Aurora,” Tessa said as she put her hand to her mouth in awe.
In one photo, from another time, Aurora’s left forearm had a large purple mark from where Gannon had thrown her against a countertop.
“I only took them because I wanted to have proof if I ever had the courage to leave,” Aurora said. “And he would always threaten me that if I tried to tell anyone, he would tell everyone I am crazy and that I cheated on him. I just want proof of what he did to me.”
“Tessa, it was such a normal occurrence,” Aurora continued. “When one bruise would disappear on my body, a new bruise would form. It was like my body was a blank canvas he painted and colored with bruises.”
“I am so sorry,” Tessa said. “If I had known, I would have done everything I could to help prevent this.”
“It is not your fault,” Aurora said. “After every fight, I would just put a bandage on our relationship and hope it would heal itself, like my bruises and scars. But the scars on my heart never healed – they only grew more with time. And now look where I am. I made it out. Finally.”
Chapter 5
Aurora stepped on the scale in her bathroom and to her demise, she found out that she had lost fifteen pounds in two weeks after she decided to weigh herself.
Earlier that day, she had heard employees at her job talking about how she had lost so much weight in a short period of time. One of her tall blonde employees asked Aurora in her valley girl accent, “How have you lost weight so fast, Mrs. Aurora? What is your secret?” She touched Aurora’s arm. “Oh my God, you have to tell me your secret.”
Aurora just stared at her employee blankly. “Well, it is just working out and eating healthy.” Or not eating at all. “But hey, enough about me, you have a deadline, Jessica. So you should get back to work. As Aurora shut her office door, she muttered, I just can’t eat anything.
Aurora took her feet off the scale and set them on the cold, white mosaic tiles of Tessa’s bathroom floor. Tears started to roll down her face as she put her hand against the wall to maintain her balance. She felt the ribs while rubbing over her shirt and lifted it up to look at herself in the mirror. She quickly pulled her shirt down and took a deep breath.
Aurora walked out of the bathroom to find Tessa cooking something in the kitchen.
“Let me make you some soup or something, Aurora,” Tessa said.
“No,” Aurora said. “The idea of food makes me sick.”
“I hate seeing you like this.”
“It’s fine. I will be fine. You eat what you want,” Aurora said as she looked for something in the fridge.
“This protein drink is all I can eat,” she said as she grabbed it out of the fridge, showing it to Tessa. “I can only drink the butter pecan one today.”
“That is not enough, Aurora!” Tessa hesitated. “At least try to drink a couple more a day.”
“I said, it’s fine!” Aurora said. “I will be fine. I manage to work still, so I will make it through.”
“Aurora, you are not fine,” Tessa said. “You are far from fine. You have to take care of yourself.”
“It’s easier said than done,” Aurora said.
“That is true. I mean, I don’t know how you feel or how to help,” Tessa said. “But taking care of yourself is quintessential to your surviving, and if you can’t do it, then I am not going to let you wither away and die on me.”
“It is not that serious.”
“Yes, it is!” Tessa exclaimed. “You are skin and bones. I know you see it when you look in the mirror. Aurora, you've got to try to eat something. Force yourself.”
“Come on, now,” Aurora said, startled.
“I’m sorry,” Tessa said. “I am just worried about you and I wish I knew the right thing to say or do to help you. You just came back into my life. I don’t want to lose you again.”
“Tessa, you won’t lose me.”
“Aurora, I just know that if you don’t gain any weight, I am going to take you to a hospital,” Tessa said. “Have you thought about seeing a therapist?”
“I don’t think I will be able to accept help from anyone,” Aurora said. “No one can help me at this point besides myself. I want to eat: I just can’t.”
--
Aurora only was able to drink one small bottle of a nutritional beverage a day for another two weeks. Each shake equaled about three hundred calories. The muscle on her body went soft since her stomach had no fat left because her stomach was eating it. Her backbone showed through the back of her shirt when she would wear tight clothes. Tessa saw that Aurora was on the brink of dying from her starving herself, and she was already skinny.
“You look terribly ill, Aurora. I am going to take you to the hospital.”
“You can’t,” Aurora said. “I have to work tomorrow.”
“I think your boss will understand.”
“No. He won’t,” Aurora said. “He never cares about these things or cares about his employees, even though I run his magazine.”
“Okay then,” Tessa said. “If he needs you that bad, then he will not fire you for missing one or two days.”
“Fine, you can take me.” Tessa went to Aurora’s room and helped her pack an overnight bag. “I am worried I am going to die.” Aurora broke down in tears.
“You were beginning to scare me with not eating,” Tessa said. She and Aurora were on the way to the hospital. “Well, I mean not being able to eat.”
“I