We are anxious to make all kinds of decisions for ourselves — and those that affect others — even when we have not thought through all of the impacts.
I know at least one of you kids is playing devil’s advocate while reading this. I can almost hear you thinking, “There are plenty of people who are not interested in being independent and who avoid making decisions.”
That is true. Perhaps you have heard, “Indecision is a decision in itself.” Indecision is still an independent choice and subject to the same responsibilities and consequences as an active decision.
We are so anxious to get to where we are going — even if only to get to instant gratification or to go nowhere at all — we overcomplicate some of our roles and responsibilities in certain aspects of our lives. As a result, we underplay and disregard other connected life aspects.
Not surprising, we then feel imbalanced and search for the appropriate fix for the effected area of trouble in our life. Sometimes it works as simply as that. Too often, however, we pick the quick fix — which addresses one aspect of life, but causes issues for other aspects. This is not dissimilar to how prescription medication potentially causes side effects.
With the quick fix, you need a solution for your solution. You need another prescription for the new side effects, which causes more side effects…Well, you get the idea.
We all do it on some level. Why? Because we are overwhelmed — often by our own doing — and in survival mode. When you are in survival mode, you tend to make a lot of reactive decisions based on immediate fear, which can ultimately entrench you deeper into your circumstance instead of solving it.
It is either the problem of being overwhelmed, or unfortunately, just looking for the easy way — shortcuts to money, success, instant gratification, and the easy way out — that lead to fixating on one area of your life and the quick fix method of problem solving. Again — I do not recommend these courses of action for living an extraordinary life.
Either way, you have your Fuddle Cup in full swing — rushing to drink from one of the cups and spilling all of the others in the process.
Compartmentalization
compartmentalization: isolation or splitting off of parts in the mind with lack of communication and consistency between the other parts.
Compartmentalization is a favorite coping mechanism when we are overwhelmed. It is also a big time accessory to the crime of justification; the moments when we are compelling ourselves to make a choice we know is selfish.
We compartmentalize in an effort to lighten our mental or emotional load. We split off and then decidedly ignore any other aspects of our life other than the most pressing aspect in our mind. Often, to a point of detriment. Moreover, we do not even realize we are doing it. To make matters even more difficult, we sometimes confuse our actions of compartmentalization with a decidedly different and truly helpful action — focus.
focus: a point upon which attention, activity, etc. is directed or concentrated
The two words are unquestionably not synonymous. Although both describe your thoughts isolated to one issue or area of life, there is an extremely large difference between the two.
Compartmentalization is similar to your first glance at a fuddling cup. You are unaware the cups are, in fact, connected to each other, and you direct your attention only to whichever singular cup from which you wish to drink.
Focus, however, is like being a seasoned Fuddle Cup drinker. You are thoroughly aware that the cups connect and choose to concentrate your attention toward a singular cup. Although you focus on one particular cup, you never entirely lose sight of the other connected cups. In fact, if you truly focus, you will factor in the surrounding cups as an advantage to your strategy.
In Review:
Compartmentalization is a short-sighted approach which involves fixating on one aspect of your life and ignoring the others, causing potentially detrimental effects. When you make decisions this way, you are spilling your Fuddle Cup all over yourself and everyone around you.
Focus is a well-considered strategy, prompted by concentrating on one aspect of your life, with continual respect for the other connected aspects. Moreover, it involves the other life aspects as advantages for your solutions. That is the ideal model of Fuddle Cup drinking success, with minimal spillage.
Kids, the object of this book is to help get you focused on the different aspects of your Fuddle Cup — without losing sight of the other vital aspects attached — so you can create successful strategies for whatever parts of life you wish to concentrate.
Remember This
“You get one lifetime to live. You have one shot to live out your purpose, in one body, with a lot of compartments in your life that need to work together.”
Now I am going to get a little personal. Specifically, I want to talk to you, about you as a person. Note: I said ‘a’ person — that is singular.
Compartmentalization does not just affect what you choose to think about, it affects how you act. Many people change themselves to suit whatever area of life they are currently dealing with. They are one type of person at work, and then have an entirely different code of ethics elsewhere, such as home. While this is a wide practice and may be deemed as normal by many, there is nothing healthy about this approach to life.
Different situations bring out different parts of one’s personality. That is to be expected and is very healthy — I encourage that. However, if someone practices situational ethics — meaning, they change their definition of right and wrong depending on the situation and who they are with [or when no one is looking] — this is a false person. They will have trouble finding real happiness and peace because they cannot be real themselves.
Whoever you are, Kids, own it and be that person in all situations. You will hurt and cheat people otherwise; no one more than yourself. You will also lose your grip on who you truly are. Whoever you are, be proud of it. If you cannot be proud of it in your own soul, and feel you need to hide it from certain [or all] people, make the necessary changes so you will never have to hide it again.
Promise me this. If you remember nothing else in this book, remember this chapter. I implore you to read it as many times as you must until it becomes part of your bones. It is that crucial to living a life worth living.
You get one lifetime to live. You have one shot to live out your purpose, in one body, with a lot of compartments in your life that need to work together.
No matter how hard you try to compartmentalize your life, all aspects of life will spill over into the others. No matter how hard you try to pretend harmful elements, influences, or practices in one aspect of your life are contained to that aspect alone, they will infiltrate every area of your life and everyone involved.
As long as you are going to spill all over yourself and everyone else, make sure it leaves a positive stain otherwise known as: a legacy.
One action will influence every aspect of your life. No matter how hard you try to be a different person to different people, in different situations, remember: “Wherever you go, there you are.” ~Confucius.
You