To give you a rule book would imply two things:
1 I have all the answers, and
2 You do not.
Neither of which, are the least bit true. On the contrary, only you know what you should ultimately be doing with your life. In fact, the smartest people I know practice three things:
1 Honoring values and the intentions of rules
2 Using all the brains they can borrow
3 Using their own judgment and discernment of the two things above
Borrow my brains with this book, Kids. Honor the intentions I convey to you. Then think for yourselves. This book is a tool for your discernment — not a substitute for what your judgment should do with the information.
My Big MUG
Maxim of Universal Guidelines
So, if Fuddle Cup is not a Rule Book, then what is it?
It is my big M.U.G. — Maxim of Universal Guidelines.
Let me get back to the M.U.G. in a minute. First, I have a question for you. Please read no further until you have answered it for yourself. Ready? “What is the first thing you need to know when learning a new game?”
Do not think too hard on it. This is only the beginning of the book; we have a lot more ground to cover. Save your strength and go with your first thought. Do you have your answer? Then read on.
I have asked that question in workshops for almost two decades to literally thousands of people from a variety of places and occupations. Inevitably, a fair number of eager people clamored over one another in order to respond first. Despite their enthusiasm, every person has given the identical answer — and it is incorrect.
Everyone to date has responded, “The rules”. In actuality, the first thing you should know when learning a new game is how to win. It sure would help your odds of success if you were clear on the object of the game, wouldn’t it?
The rules exist simply to assist everyone navigate through a process fairly and measurably. The object of the game — how you win — is the point of playing the game in the first place.
We are so conditioned to do things right in our world, we tend to forget what we are doing, or most importantly, why we are doing it. Can you blame us? It is a lot easier to focus on an individual dance step than to perform an entire ballet.
The problems begin as we tend to focus on a few steps we like and attempt to disregard the steps we would rather not deal with. We trip over our own feet, transitioning from step to step, as it becomes increasingly more difficult to choreograph all the steps together into a singular dance.
Yes. I am picking on rules again. You see, even with my independent nature, I got tripped up on the rules, too.
As life got fuller, so did all of life’s rules, responsibilities, problems, passions, and competing concerns. They began to create lives of their own. They battled each other for importance, attention, and superiority. I needed one place in my brain; one repository and one huge, universal guideline — a maxim — to contain everything I now had to deal with. I needed one big M.U.G.
I wanted to do everything right and well — better than well, extraordinarily — while vanquishing evil and doing my part to save the world. [If you suffer from being an overachiever, Kids, feel free to blame it on your grandmother].
Sometimes I got it right. I was awarded by Presidents, enjoyed the gratitude of household-name celebrities, and even earned the privilege of a prince holding the door open for my arrival. [You will not read about these things here. There is no integrity in abusing one’s confidence or attempting to gain from disrespecting their privacy.]
Most importantly, I have had the honor of changing others’ lives — both through assisting their basic survival and by working to build their families’ future prosperity.
I have also failed, disappointed people, defeated myself, been selfish, and have committed a string of mistakes arguably in contention for a world record.
[By the way, Kids, that reminds me: Be wary of advice from anyone who does not explain how they personally messed things up. You are not getting the complete story. They either do not realize their errors or are not telling you the whole truth. Neither reason constitutes a reliable counselor.]
In both my moments of pride and humility, I got smarter. Everyone I had ever helped or hurt, or even happened upon, became my educator with something valuable to teach me — whether I wanted them to or not.
I began to worry less about doing life right and started to wonder more about why I was in the game of life in the first place. Furthermore, I thought as long as I was in the game, how would I win?
Things started to come together. My maxim — my general truth and principle — began to take the shape of what I now refer to as my M.U.G. [Maxim of Universal Guidelines]. The more I poured all of life’s competing concerns, responsibilities, and rules into my big M.U.G., the better perspective I had on why I was alive in the first place. I discovered what I needed to do to win, without entirely losing my mind and faculties in the process.
I started sharing some of the provocations from my big M.U.G. professionally and personally. Not only did they seem to make sense to others, I was told they made significant differences in their lives and work, as well. Remarkable.
[If you have the chance to make a positive impact on another life, do it. I have experienced the grace of many miracles, but none more powerful than when I was a steward of someone else’s success. It is funny how my own success always appeared to increase as a result, too.]
Although some fragments of my big M.U.G. have been communicated in different places over time, I have never before explained it in its entirety. Specifically, I have not demonstrated how all of the pieces fit and work together — until I thought of you. This is the first time I have ever documented it.
What is my big Maxim of Universal Guidelines? It is the Fuddle Cup — my simple truth.
If you are anything like your grandmother, you may be wondering, “If it is so simple, why did you need to write an entire book to explain it?”
It is for this reason: A truth is simple. Living a life of truth is not.
The Fuddle Cup
“It is impossible to empty or fill the contents of one of the cups without doing the same to each of the remaining cups — Just like your life.”
A Fuddle Cup is not an actual cup. I coined the concept to demonstrate how the different aspects of life spill over into each other and act as one. My inspiration was based on the antique English drinking vessel, the fuddling cup.
The word ‘fuddle’ means, to muddle or confuse — which is why people say they are befuddled when they are utterly confused or perplexed.
A fuddling cup is a three-dimensional puzzle in the form of a drinking vessel comprised of three