Charlie quietly kissed my breasts and licked me all over.
“I bet it’s time for dinner; shall I go fix us a nice meal?”
“In a bit we can do it together but first, maybe some answers.”
“Anything Charlie,” I assured him.
“I’ve been trying to wake you for about 30 minutes. Helen it’s frightening when you don’t wake up.”
“Sorry to cause you any fear.”
I put my arms around him.
“Would you let me know when you plan to do that?”
Charlie wasn’t telling me not to travel but he was trying to get a bit of control over the situation.
“Charlie sometimes I don’t plan to travel but then Ricky invites me, I feel compelled to go; like I’m being called by a force greater than myself.”
“Dammit Woman, don’t you understand how strange and scary you are sometimes?”
“You sound like Michael. He told me that I was being reckless and to listen to you and to let you protect me.”
“Will you listen to him even if you won’t listen to me?”
“I listen to you Charlie and I also take into consideration what Michael has to say. In the end, my decisions are mine and I take full responsibility for them. There’ll always be fear of the unknown but I can’t let that fear be the deciding factor in my life. I know that you wouldn’t and neither would Michael.”
He chewed on that for a moment and then I heard his tummy growl again and I was all motion and intent as I sat up and started to get out of bed.
“We aren’t through with this conversation.”
Charlie informed me as he allowed me to pull him to a standing position and head for the kitchen.
At dinner Charlie brought the subject up again and I finally said that I was through with that topic for the evening.
“Charlie, I’m done with talking about this. Let’s move on to other things. Tut wants some guitar time.”
Charlie sighed deeply and looked down at his food. I couldn’t help Charlie anymore with his understanding of my need to see where the sparks would take me.
At the mention of his name, Tut came to the dinner table to see what was going on. He screeched and whistled and Charlie matched his sound to the letter and we laughed all of us; even Tut laughed.
As Charlie could see that he was getting nowhere with his crazy woman, he dropped the investigation and we got into our evening together.
The very next day at the same time, Ricky invited me to visit the universe again and I had intended to turn her down but her red spark was more than enticing, it drew me.
The redness nearly felt like the glow of fire; like everything was going up in flames but there was no sense of heat. The falling was disorienting again and the chaotic turbulence didn’t allow for much thinking, only enduring until it all stopped and I was once again on the cruise ship with Michael. It was the first day of our hook up. We were sitting side by side on the balcony. I’d examined that day multiple times within my recall but I never once heard anything that would make me change the way I looked at that encounter.
The voice was quiet but I didn’t have to strain to hear.
“Don’t think you need any one, oh yes you do.”
After that statement from wherever, Michael reached over the small expanse and hooked our pinkie fingers.
Then I heard the voice again.
“You will need this woman for the rest of your life.”
I barely caught the end of it before the blackness came over me and I was done with that adventure.
When I came to consciousness, I saw that Charlie was sitting on the side of the bed looking at me again. His attitude was sadness in the extreme. Neither of us said anything for a very long few minutes. My body wasn‘t yet responding to my commands or I would have been wrapping my arms around Charlie and kissing him soundly about the neck and face in an effort to take away the sadness that I saw there.
Charlie was the first to speak.
“Helen, I can’t take this anymore. You frighten me too much.”
“What do you mean?”
I nearly cried to him. Then I saw that his two suitcases were standing near the door. It took a minute but finally I got it. Charlie was leaving me again. Still without my strength the fear nearly swallowed me.
“Please Charlie.”
I sobbed and tried to reach out to him but my arms wouldn’t answer the will to move.
“You can have me now, Charlie.”
“Woman you’re leaving me out and I just can’t take it anymore.”
I repeated myself as I didn’t know what to do and I was totally unable to move.
“You can have me now, Charlie. Please have me now. I need you so much. Charlie I can’t move. Please don’t leave until you hold me again.
He must have seen the fear in my eyes at the prospect of him leaving me because he gently drew me into his arms and set me on his lap. He kissed me tenderly and my arms were around him as soon as I could feel any strength at all coming back to me. I wrapped myself around him and clutched on to him like a spider monkey - if he left, he’d have to take me with him.
“Shh, shh, shh,” Charlie shushed me and rocked me while I got a better hold on him.
I whispered in his ear.
“If you leave me, I won’t die but I’ll want to. I’m sorry for being so odd and crazy. Have you stopped loving me again?”
“Woman I love you and I always will but you are so reckless and unconcerned for your own safety. I don’t want to watch you hurt yourself.”
“The most painful thing in the world for me would be for you to leave me Charlie. It seems that you want me to be someone else but I am who I am. I was under the impression that you wanted me for your crazy woman. You’re my man. I can’t live without you.”
My strength back, I turned in his arms and straddled his body and wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him and rubbed my breasts into him.
“Please don’t be angry at me and think of leaving.”
That’s when I saw the tell in his eyes. He wasn’t going to leave me; he was grandstanding. I relaxed slightly at the knowledge that he wouldn’t go but I also recognized that he was trying hard to lay down the law, so to speak.
My eyes still glistening with tears, I smiled at him with my next words.
“How about we discuss how you can help to keep me safe when I jump the current into the universe?”
Then I kissed his big lips and suckled on his tongue and worked, in general, to arouse him.
When he put his arms around me and crushed me to him, I nearly cried from the joy of it. He whispered my name as he began the task of removing my clothes. While he worked his clothing removal process he said to me.
“After, let’s talk about keeping you safe while you travel. Promise?”
“I promise,” I assured him.
While Charlie and I made love I thought about how important he was to me. He made me feel really good, better than anything.
“You know Charlie; I am cursed to love you forever even if you stop loving me. It’s just not in my makeup to unlove after I’ve fallen in love.”
“What is so important to you about your travel?”