The Red Spark. DH Steppler

then, yes, I suffered. Trying to live without you and without our connection was painful and not just a debilitating physical pain but a deep emotional pain that was scaring and left me with fear and doubt.”

      Michael sat there with a sad look in his eyes.

      “Michael we can both be sad if that’s what you want but I’d prefer to look at what we’ve got and the positive which helps to legitimate the pain of the past, to recognize it and then let it go. I am a happy person and so are you most of the time.”

      “You’ve had some time to see this stuff Baby, give me a chance to catch up, ok?”

      “Ok, what I take from this date and the quote, unquote grand design is that that was the second time, that we know of, that you and I were bound with cosmic words. I told you about the first time. We are observers, there is nothing either one of us can do to influence what has already happened. But know this; we are not without influence on what will yet happen.”

      I thought for a moment and then continued.

      “From what I’ve seen, as the observer, over and over again; things change. It seems that everything is in some kind of flux and most things really aren’t stationary.”

      “It’s a challenge to keep an open mind when you hear the voice of god, or whatever say that you have caused another pain. Perhaps, there’s penance to be paid, maybe that’s what I’m morose about.”

      Michael spoke out loud to help him understand.

      “Excuse me, but from what I heard, you were given a penance to pay in that you’d be in pain without me, still.”

      When we exhausted the topic of my suffering and his needing me we discussed whether or not that type of travel could be of value. We talked about what the red chamber looked like and I asked the question to the universe as well as to Michael.

      “If I can hover and not descend then how crazy would it be to think that I could also ascend and therefore move forward in time?”

      “Oh my God Helen, what are thinking?”

      Michael was getting excited and his fear was showing.

      “You know exactly what I’m thinking. I’m thinking that we may also be able to visit the future as things are changing and re-laid out minute by minute.”

      “Let’s table this discussion for now and go see what Charlie and Lu are up to, ok?”

      Maybe Michael had reached his ‘weird’ limit and needed a break.

      At that we left the ‘Pinky bank’ and found Charlie and Lu in the living room with guitars and Tut between them going from guitar to guitar plucking the strings that matched the song they were playing. Both Lu and Charlie were laughing at that crazy bird when they saw that he was kind of dancing between guitars and bobbing his head to his internal beat.

      When Lu saw us, she begged.

      “Watch this, Michael, watch this. Help me Charlie.”

      Charlie coaxed.

      “Hey Tut, whatcha wanna play?”

      “Baby, That’s Back Atcha.”

      Tut used Michael’s voice.

      Then the three of them strummed the strings for that song, Charlie and Lu sang it with Tut chiming in every now and then while he plucked at the strings. Before the song was over all of us were laughing and harmonizing.

      At exactly 8 o’clock Tut came to me for his good night kisses and then to Charlie for the same. Together, we walked him into the office to say good night. We were indulgent of that bird, no doubt.

      We left Tut to his dreams and went into the kitchen to see what Charlie had been up to that made the house smell so good. The big pot of chili was simmering and nearly ready for us. Charlie asked me to make corn bread to go with it. In less than a half hour we were sitting at the dining room table enjoying Charlie’s chili accompanied by my corn bread and the very best strawberry milkshakes ever made. The strawberries were plentiful, ripe, and delicious from the garden; Charlie had to use them.

      Michael’s weight gain didn’t get past me and when I had a moment alone with Lu I asked her if she’d noticed that Michael was putting on extra pounds again. She said that she’d planned to mention it to me and ask if I’d agree to ‘kiss and go’.

      After we’d said good night, Charlie and I went to our room and Michael and Lu went to the guest room. I got into some night clothes and then I went to the guest room to make the transfer. The process was the same. Even though Michael and I had not been together to allow the wave to hit us and build in intensity I was astounded at how strong the wave was and how long it lasted. There was no preparation that I could have made to ease the pain that tearing away from Michael caused.

      I left them to each other and slipped out of their room and then into the waiting arms of Charlie. His strong arms were comforting and he allowed me to just snuggle up and be still for a bit as he held me and kissed me.

      “Charlie, my love, tell me again that you love me.” I pleaded in his ear.

      Charlie pulled me in tighter to him for a sweet bear hug and then laid me down on my back and looked down at me, our bodies close. He cupped my face with his big hand.

      “Woman, I love you with my life, I will never leave you; you are my true love.”

      The pain of separation from Michael became distant as Charlie wrapped me in his love and teased me with his lips. After that he kissed me silly and reminded me of what we had together. He gave me pleasure just by hearing his tiny and quiet high pitched moan as our bodies joined.

      We couldn’t get enough of each other and it wasn’t difficult for him to accommodate me when I asked.

      “Can you do that again please, Charlie?”

      My last words were completely drunk with love and need and gratitude.

      “I love you Charlie; I’ve never been happier than right now with you.”