All day Sunday, Lillian and Michael prayed for Marisol. They knew she was afraid and her journey would be a long, painful and trying one. Michael had to also prepare Lillian because she would be the person helping her. He had to make her aware of the painful road that lay ahead, such as things she would have to confront and things she may not be ready for. He reminded Lillian that Shannon was blessed in that she didn’t suffer for long. He knew she would relive her sister’s dying days and he wanted to make sure she was able to handle it. Lillian prayed for strength and told God that if he brought Marisol into her life for a purpose, she knew he would give her the wisdom and the courage to be strong to help her new found friend.
Lillian decided to call Matt and Jal because she began to miss them all over again. Her mother’s heart was always worried. They had to convince her that everything was going well and that she didn’t have to worry. She was so proud of Matt and was encouraged that he had come a long way. He finally grew up and had a purpose in life—to help others.
Lillian worked up enough courage to tell Jal about her new friend, Marisol. Jal became a bit concerned and didn’t want her mother to get involved in helping because Lillian would become too emotionally involved. She wanted her mom to enjoy her life- and be free of unnecessary pain. Having lost her sister to cancer would cause her mom to become a dedicated friend. Lillian assured Jal that she would be okay. God had brought this new friend into her life for a purpose. Little did Lillian know the heartache and emotional pain that was to come-something she would have to remain on her knees for each new day. Was she able to handle what was yet to come? Would she hide her feelings again to be safe? That was something that time would tell and a new journal would know.
Part 2
It was Monday morning, nine am, and Lillian was waiting for Marisol in the main lobby of the hospital. She quickly turned to find Marisol procrastinating, almost doubtful about agreeing to meet with Dr. Lanes. Lillian waved and smiled to comfort her new found friend. “I was beginning to think you changed your mind.” Nervously Marisol responded, “Well, to be honest, I almost did. I’m not sure if I want to go through all of this again. Maybe I should just leave things alone,” Determined, Lillian answered. “Oh no you don’t.! You’re here now and you can do this. I prayed for you the entire weekend. I know you’re afraid, but God is with you.”” Marisol looked at Lillian in a confused manner. “God? What God? If God were with me I wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place.” “Well, Marisol, I don’t understand why God allows certain things to happen, but one thing I do know, is that he never gives us anything we can’t handle.” “That’s easy for you to say Lillian; you’re not feeling what I’m feeling.” “You’re right, but I’ve experienced heartaches too. I’ve been in different types of situations, and look, I’m still standing. Not only am I still here, but I’m okay. No one is saying it’s going to be easy Marisol, but things are going to be okay. They may even get worse for a while, but I have faith that you’re going to be alright.” Marisol looked at Lillian with worry in her eyes and sheepishly replied, “I hope so Lillian, I sure do hope so.” They got into the elevator and pressed the 11th floor button. As it continuously stopped to let people off, it felt like an eternity to Marisol. Her heart raced, her knees got weak and her back felt so hot she thought she would faint. Lillian noticed the anxiety Marisol was experiencing and quietly said a prayer for her. Finally the doors opened on the 11th floor. Marisol was beyond nervous. “I don’t think I can do this Lillian.” Lillian grabbed her arm and reaffirmed, “Yes you can. I’ll stay with you.” They walked into Dr. Lanes’ office where the receptionist greeted them. “Hello, I’m Marisol Gines. I have an appointment with Dr. Lanes.” “Oh yes, please fill these forms out. Once you’re done I will take you into the examination room.” Marisol’s hands shook uncontrollably as she reached to take the forms. “Calm down Marisol, it’s going to be alright”, whispered Lillian to her. She completed the forms and returned them back to the receptionist who then brought her into room four. “Please remove your clothes and put this robe on. The doctor will be here shortly.” The room seemed so big and overwhelming. Alone in that room, Marisol’s eyes began to fill with tears as she thought her prognosis could only be “death.” Who wanted to continue hearing that? Who needed a second opinion when one’s life was already doomed? “Why am I even here? This doesn’t make any kind of sense. I want to leave.” Doctor Lanes walked in very chipper and greeted her with a smile. “Why, hello Mrs. Gines. How might you be this beautiful morning?” Marisol looked at him with disdain at first because she couldn’t understand how he could be so happy when she was dying. “How do you think I’m doing? Obviously not well if I’m here.” He disregarded her response as he understood she had every right to feel angry. No one wants to be sick, let alone have cancer. “I was hoping to make you smile, but I understand. My name is doctor Lanes and I am going to run several tests on you this morning. You will have a PET test, some blood work and a CAT scan of the lungs. Once I view the films we will talk. I will give you the diagnosis, will discuss treatments, if any, and we’ll take it from there. Are you okay with that?” Bitterly she responded, “I have no other choice do I doctor?” Meanwhile Lillian was in the waiting area praying quietly. “Lord, you brought me here to help someone I don’t know. You have brought Marisol into our lives for a purpose. I won’t debate you about this because I know I’d lose anyway. Please give her peace – let her feel your hand in hers. Let her not feel alone right now.” As she quietly prayed, doctor Lanes came out to talk to her. “Hi Lillian, your friend will be going for several tests today. I can’t really give any diagnosis now. Once I get the results, I’ll let you know what’s going on.” Doctor Lanes looked at Lillian and quietly asked, “Why this concern for this person you don’t know?” Lillian looked at him intently and replied, “Because I never say no to God. You may not understand, but God allowed me to meet Marisol so that I can help her. I couldn’t help Shannon, it was too late, but I can help Marisol. She has no one. I had no one at one time, so I understand. If I have been given an opportunity to help her, then why not?” “You have a huge heart Lillian. Thank you for bringing her. She’s bitter about this whole situation, but I’m going to do everything in my power, medically, to help her.” “That’s all I ask. The rest is up to God.” Doctor Lanes smiled and walked away.
As Marisol was taken for her tests, she continued to be apprehensive. “Why go through all of this again when I know it’s final? Why am I even wasting my time? Why did I let a complete stranger convince me to do this? Have I lost my mind? There is no hope for me. I’m going to die and I’m scared.” Suddenly she felt the technician roll her into the room and say, “Marisol Gines, correct?” “Yes.” “Have you ever had a CAT scan before?” “Absolutely! I’m no stranger to this.” “Okay. This will take about ten minutes. Are you alright?” “I’m fine, thanks.” As she heard the sound of the machine, she couldn’t help but ask, “Why me? Why did it have to happen to me? I knew so many people with cancer, but I never thought it would happen to me. I’ve done nothing to anyone. I’ve always extended my hand. I’ve always allowed people to walk all over me and never did anything about it. This is what life has to offer, sickness, pain and misery? I just don’t get it.” She finally heard, “All done Ms. Gines. You did great.” She looked at him