My Child "The Quick Fix?". C.S. Harrison

the raising of our kids. Sometimes the television and internet becomes a child's nanny. These vices can introduce a variety of messages and images that can be difficult for parents, to monitor. Sometimes adults outsource their kids to other adults. Whether it is family members, friends, schools, or extracurricular programs, it is important that we, as parents, thoroughly know and understand who is caring for our children and what messages they are providing to our children.

      Programs that are created and dedicated to helping children succeed can help strengthen their character, and alter negative messages and behaviors they may be experiencing. In addition, these programs can provide parents with access to information they may otherwise have had access. For instance, educators are often the first to recognize when a child is having trouble learning and can help identify ways for the school and parents to work together to improve the child's ability to succeed. Parents must be willing to accept this knowledge and use it in order for it to be beneficial. Often though, the tone and delivery of information by an educator may be misinterpreted and leaves the person receiving the information feeling belittled and more like a child being scorned than a responsible parent. Adults often ask for help, but once they are given advice, depending on the delivery they may reject the person's suggestions.

      I remember an instance when I visited Houston's Smith Public Library and a baby began crying uncontrollably in his mother's arms, while she was tending to an elderly relative. The young woman appeared to be overwhelmed. The relative walked with a cane in one hand as he held onto one of her hands with the other. Once at his destination, she took her baby, (who at this point was screaming) to the restroom. I and others overheard the sounds of her spanking the child, which in turn caused him to yell and scream even louder. Immediately, I went over and asked her to stop. The woman was surprised. But I asked if I could help her understand why her son was crying like that. When I asked if the child was hungry, she became defensive. "of course, I fed my child. I am not a bad parent," she said. I softened my tone to try and build a rapport with her and as she became more comfortable, I was able to continue asking questions. After a few minutes of the child listening to my soothing tone, I began to notice he was possibly just tired as he was rubbing his eyes. I asked the mother if she had a pacifier, she didn't. So, I asked her if she had a sippy cup, she did. I held onto the child, while she ran out to get it from her car. As her son begins to calm down from the cool drink of water, I returned her son to her. I mentioned it was natural for him to be resistant to falling asleep. "Try laying his head on your shoulder -- while rubbing his back, speak to him calmly." I explained "This will help relax him" and he fell asleep almost immediately. Because of my experience in early childhood development, I helped the mother understand that when children do not have the ability to use words, they find other ways to show what they need and want. As an educator, I know children act out in different ways to get their points of view across. While some of this gets misinterpreted as whining or misbehaving, there may be other underlying reasons. We, as parents, should step back, listen, and then decide how to best approach the situation.

      Throughout my years of working in early childhood development, and daily interactions with people from various walks of life; each person has a personal perspective of what they consider to be important, when it comes to raising kids. As a parent, what do you consider important?