The trail that we took began on the right side of the parking lot and started out as a slow, peaceful incline under the shade of evergreens. Every now and then we would catch a ray of sun peeking through the branches. The quietness of the woods also forced us into a silence that was broken by an occasional intake of breath from either Jensen or me.
As we walked the dirt trail my mind reluctantly thought of Kyle. What is wrong with me? Why do I let that guy into my head? Am I not here with the greatest guy ever?
Jensen picked up a few stones and tossed them into the brush. I watched him while my thoughts went to the McDonald’s run-in with Kyle, and Jensen’s comment about Alyna not making the same mistake twice with him. I was stepping into dangerous territory by asking Jensen about it, but I couldn’t help myself. I had to know.
“Yesterday,” I began, “you mentioned Alyna wasn’t Kyle’s type.”
“Mmm, hmmm,” Jensen murmured, waiting for my point.
I asked if he knew her well, and Jensen seemed surprised at the change of direction in our conversation. He paused in stride and dug his shoe into the dirt floor, admitting that he knew Alyna, but offered nothing more. I then became bold once again by asking if the two used to go out with one another. His face seemed to twist a little before he gave me his crooked smile.
“Yeah, last year,” he said, digging his shoe into the dirt a little deeper. “All of last year, actually.”
“Oh.” It was all I could say and it felt like torture, but for some reason I had to know, so I continued down the road I knew I shouldn’t. “Was she someone you were serious with, serious to the point of …?” I trailed off.
Already knowing what his answer would be, I couldn’t help but wonder if his confirmation would make me feel any differently about him. It probably would give him and Kyle something in common, something I wished against.
“Yes,” he answered quietly. At that moment it felt like an arrow hitting my heart. He tightened his hand around mine, but I looked away.
“Mia,” he said softly, pulling me closer to his side.
“I’m okay.”
I struggled to compose myself as we continued to walk the trail. Jensen kept a hold on my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine, saying that being too honest was a character flaw of his. He also told me that being with Alyna in the past didn’t change the way he felt about me now.
“Do you feel differently knowing I was with her?” he asked as he stopped and stood in front of me.
Looking up to his face, I only shrugged and turned away, fearing that he would see my tears beginning to build. Little did he know that I wasn’t upset over what he had with Alyna, but what Kyle did. It was stupid, I knew, but the reality of Kyle choosing her over me really stung. When I voiced my feelings out loud, Jensen looked at me with a raised eyebrow as if to ask if I had lied about there being nothing between Kyle and me.
“It bothers me that you two have her in common. I thought you were the polar opposite of him, which made you even more desirable to me,” I stated as a matter-of-fact.
“So,” he drawled out, “do you feel differently about me?” His blue eyes showed a bit of fear over what I would say.
“Jensen,” I began quietly, “to answer your question … I’m in love with you.” His face seemed to soften. “And no, it doesn’t change anything.”
Jensen let out a sigh of relief and chuckled lightly. “It’s funny; I thought I would scare you away if I told you I loved you, but here you are telling me the very thing I thought would push you away.” He pulled me into a hug.
“Shut up and kiss me,” I said, trying to break the seriousness of only a moment ago. Jensen kissed me softly with the sound of singing birds in the forest making the occasion more serene.
We stood there taking it all in when abruptly he grabbed my hand and urged me to follow him. We walked a good distance before veering off into the brush and starting down a path that really wasn’t there.
“Great, I didn’t think we’d be bush-banging,” I said, tripping over the thick underbrush.
Jensen grabbed me around my waist before I could hit the ground and promised that it wouldn’t be much farther. Within minutes I could hear a slight roar of water, and soon we entered a clearing and stood gazing at the most beautiful waterfall. The water cascaded down to the rocks below, and its mist rose up and lightly coated my skin with its coolness.
Jensen grabbed my hand and pulled me over to a fallen tree where he lifted me up and sat me on top of it. The tree was damp, but I didn’t care. He turned his back toward me and my legs dangled on either side of his waist. I let my arms drape down off his shoulders and around his chest.
“This is really beautiful,” I whispered into his ear before I began kissing the back of his neck. The smell of him was so delicious, like a mixture of salty sweat and the sweet aroma of fresh rain and the outdoors.
“Mmm, that feels nice,” he breathed as he turned around to face me, burying his face in my hair and kissing the curve of my neck. Jensen then searched for my lips and found them. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer, running my fingers through his hair as he pressed his lips firmly against mine. Suddenly the urgency was back and I welcomed it. Pleasant butterflies swirled in my stomach as my tongue frantically danced with his. I sharply inhaled through my nose, slightly whimpering at what I was feeling.
Jensen moaned slightly and then pulled away. “You’re much too irresistible. You make it hard to stop.”
“So don’t,” I challenged, not caring if he ever stopped.
“You don’t mean that; it’s too soon.”
“Yes, for me, but is it for you?” Alyna instantly came to mind.
Jensen stopped and looked at me, surprised that I would say such a thing. “Yes, of course it is. I told you I wanted to take it slow with you.”
“Ok.” I hadn’t meant to hurt his feelings, but I felt like I needed confirmation that he would be careful with me. It also felt good to be wanted.
His eyes softened even more, and his mouth formed into that crooked smile that was becoming famous with only me. “I want you,” Jensen sighed. “You don’t know how hard it is to hold back with you. I feel like we’ve been together for months.”
I took a deep breath because he had just voiced what I had been feeling. It felt good to know he felt the same way about me as I did him, and for some reason Alyna failed to matter anymore.
After a few moments of silence and some more soft kisses on my neck, I thought it best if we started back. About that time my stomach had begun making noise, so Jensen suggested going to get some Tex-Mex from a small cafe on the way back into town where I later experienced the best chicken nachos I’d ever eaten. It was also at that little hole-in-the-wall that I began my quest to know more about him.
“The other day,” I started to ask as we sat at a little table in the corner, “what did you mean when you said that was something Aria didn’t tell me about you?” The way he had said it had bothered me. Jensen looked deep in thought, trying to remember what he may have said.
“I said I hope you acquired your Jeep with acceptable means,” I prompted.
“Oh, yeah. Okay, I’m with you now.” He took a chip and chewed for a second. It was annoying waiting for him to finish, but I had practiced patience enough with Kyle. “My family has money,” he said nonchalantly, “and I bought the Jeep last summer.” Suddenly I felt a bit inferior at the confirmation of what I had already suspected. “What about you? It’s just you