The Cornucopia Radio Ebook. Peter Beeston

perhaps a bit bigger on top if you follow.

      SON: Have you gone completely mad? I mean… even if this plan was remotely decent, how on earth do you think you are going to ‘liaise’ with someone like Melinda Messenger? How would you meet such a woman in the first place?

      FATHER: Are there any decent lookin’ lasses at your place?

      SON: There are lots of nice members of the opposite sex at Jones, Franklin and Masters Financial Services, but unfortunately for you dad, NONE of them would be interested in an old duffer like you… I mean…this is outrageous.

      FATHER: Look son, I know you have my best interests in mind and I know you want me to get a hobby or interest that will keep me active but I am definitely NOT going to be playing crown green bowls, skittles, or any other hobby that involves being surrounded by wrinklies. No. I’m going to start having it off and that’s that.

      SON: Look dad, I’m not going to sit back and let you make a fool of yourself so forget about having it off as you so crudely put it. Look dad I think you’re perhaps not ‘fully’ recovered from the fall. Perhaps you should have a lot of rest. You sound as though you need a nice holiday to help you build up your strength and get all these daft ideas out of your mind. Where would you like to go dad. Don’t worry about the cost. We just want you to get better. What do you think? Italy is lovely this time of year. Or how about a Rhine cruise?

      FATHER: (tentatively) Bangkok sounds nice. Nice beaches Lovely relaxing scenery. Dave, one of my internet friends says the locals are very friendly. They love English people out there…Can’t do enough for you... Yes… Bangkok.

      SON: (relieved) That sounds more like it dad. You’re such a joker. I never know when to take you seriously. I knew you would see sense eventually. Hopefully, it’ll give you time to think about the ridiculous things you’ve just been saying. What are we going to do with you dad eh?

      FATHER: Aye, a nice relaxing holiday in Bangkok. Pity mum won’t be able to go with her heart problem and the like, but I’ll make the best of it on my own. Just go and grab yourselves a drink while I get my stuff together for the trip home.

      SON LEAVES THE ROOM AND YOU CAN HEAR THE FATHER USING A TELEPHONE. HE DIALS AND A MOMENT LATER SAYS:

      FATHER: Hello Dave. Yes, the plan worked perfectly. ‘Chitty Titty Bangkok’ here we come.