A Parent's Guide to Substance Abuse and Addiction
by
Kellena Page
Copyright 2013 Kellena Page,
All rights reserved.
2nd edition, updated 2013
Published in eBook format by eBookIt.com
ISBN-13: 978-1-4566-0953-5
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank my husband, Todd Page, for coming up with the idea for an ebook, brainstorming ideas with me, creating the title, and offering his wise advice. I would also like to thank Chelsea Fielder-Jenks for doing the extensive and necessary time consuming research required to provide the important information contained within this book.
Introduction
My husband and I were confident that we were prepared for the day when our children came to us asking questions about alcohol and drugs. However, the first time that our 13 year old started pummeling us with questions, about 15 minutes into the conversation, we discovered how much we didn’t know.
“Is pot addictive, Mom? And is it really that bad for you? I’ve heard that it’s healthier for you than alcohol. Is it? And what causes meth mouth? Will you go to jail if you’re caught with a small amount of pot? What if it’s not yours and you just happen to be around it? If you get pulled over after smoking pot but you haven’t had anything to drink, can you still get a DUI since they can’t test your breath? What happens if you refuse to submit to a drunk driving test? How does addiction change your brain? What causes one person to become an addict but not another? If you get a DUI or drug conviction, does that mean that you can never get into college or get a good job? Is it true that cigarettes are more addictive than heroin?”
We didn’t know the answers to any of these questions. My son’s disappointment in our evasive answers and shrugging shoulders was clear. He already knew that he was not supposed to abuse alcohol or use drugs but he was curious and wanted facts and we were doing a lousy job of providing them.
I ran to the computer and diligently looked on the Internet for answers, only to discover just how scattered this seemingly basic information is. Nowhere did I find a single comprehensive source that simply provided basic and necessary facts about substance abuse and addiction. Instead, I found plenty of misinformation, overwhelmingly large books that focused on either alcohol or drugs but not both, lots of books on how to recover from addiction, and articles that came across as preachy while advocating complete abstinence. It became clear that in order to obtain the answers to my son’s questions, a significant amount of time and research was in order. With as much difficulty as I was having searching for answers, I knew that other parents had to be experiencing the same frustration.
Because we believe that that it is essential for all parents and teens to have a solid education in this area, my husband and I decided to create our own comprehensive guide. Extensive research was conducted under my direction and the result is this book, full of basic information that all parents should know and share with their teens. Every teenager and parent that has read this book has expressed surprise about how much they learned and dismay at how misinformed they were. Arming your kids with knowledge about substance abuse and addiction will not only enable them to make better choices but will also open a vital pathway of communication between you and your kids as they navigate their teenage years and beyond.
Part One: Addiction
An Example of Addiction: Heather’s Story
Over 20 years ago, Heather took a drag off of a friend’s cigarette. She had never smoked before and, despite the bad taste, she liked the temporary yet fun buzz that the cigarette gave her. A couple of weeks after her first drag, Heather was out with the same friend who once again lit up a cigarette. Heather asked to take a couple of drags off of her friend’s cigarette but instead, her friend just gave her a new cigarette. Heather couldn’t finish the entire cigarette and had no desire to smoke another one for the rest of the week. She felt completely in control of her smoking. This sense of control is common amongst people who have recently started using a drug, including nicotine; however, drugs have a potent effect on the brain and this sense of self-control can quickly become lost.13
As a result of feeling in control, Heather’s confidence was boosted and the following weekend she asked her friend for another cigarette. This time, she noticed that it no longer tasted or smelled gross so she finished it. At this time, she still felt in control of her smoking but after just a few weekends of smoking with her friends, she periodically began craving a cigarette. She continued smoking cigarettes on occasion, as they made her feel cool and she noticed they helped her control her appetite. However, smoking no longer gave her a buzz because her brain had already began to build a tolerance to the effects of nicotine. Eventually, Heather began to notice that there were times when she needed a cigarette, which was a subtle shift from occasionally wanting one. She started carving out times in her day when she could break away and have a cigarette. She also noticed that they no longer controlled her appetite.
Soon, Heather realized that she had become a smoker and that she was addicted. She spent the next couple of years trying to convince herself that her addiction wasn’t that bad because she was smoking light cigarettes and only one pack a day. Her health was fine and she was as athletic as she had always been. She started ‘making up’ for her smoking in other ways, such as concentrating on a healthier diet and exercising more. A large portion of her thoughts revolved around timing her cigarettes, finding places where she could smoke, and finding fellow smokers to hang out with. For Heather, a four hour airplane ride was a dilemma because she knew that she would really be craving a cigarette toward the end of the flight and would have no place to go and have one. She went out of her way to avoid these types of situations.
Then, Heather began to notice that her teeth were becoming yellow and she had developed a small but persistent cough, especially if she tried to take a deep breath. She attributed this to allergies and bought whitening toothpaste. She also vowed to cut back on the number of cigarettes that she was smoking, which she did. She became very aware of how much she smoked and resisted the urge to smoke more than she absolutely craved. She congratulated herself on her self-control and vowed to control her habit.
One day, Heather received news that her dad was dying. Over the course of six months, she watched as the most powerful, confident, intelligent person she had ever known lost his ability to take care of himself. He relied on Heather to help take care of him and cigarettes were a tangible and significant source of comfort for her during this time. This stressful life event threw her into smoking overdrive and she relapsed.
After about two years of smoking at will, she finally realized that her habit embarrassed her. There were men that she liked that she knew were turned off by her smoking and friends that subtly moved away from her whenever she lit up. Deep down she admitted that she wasn't thrilled with her habit so she decided to quit. She felt fine for the