When the student is ready, the master appears. ~Buddhist Proverb
Coming out of our drug fog makes it very hard to hear the message. Initially, we only half listen, and use few of the suggestions. This can be due to a variety of reasons ranging from confusion, prideful thinking, fear, or feeling overwhelmed. Some of us have thoughts that even doing half of a Step would be a mighty tall order. Some of us are concerned about opening old wounds, and sharing them with another person. However, once we are finally ready to move forward, doors begin to open. Suddenly we find teachers everywhere. Every meeting we attend seems to speak directly to us, each page we read in our book addresses our particular situation, and our sponsor is magically “right on” in everything he or she tells us. We know we are ready when we are “in the zone” of recovery and everything flows—when nothing flows, we simply are not yet ready.
If I’m not ready to learn, C.D.A. members can’t
say anything right. If I’m ready to learn,
they can’t say anything wrong.
Look the person in the mirror right in the eye. Is the readiness there - all the willingness that can be mustered?
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 61
March 20
The people who gather are a tribe not of blood, but of spirit, for all are born into it. We are bound together by our desire to live in peace, to be in the cathedral of nature, and to heal ourselves through union with the earthly mother and heavenly father. ~Rainbow Gathering Flyer
In C.D.A. we are truly a tribe, not of blood, but of spirit. Upon finding the Fellowship, it isn't “me” and “you” anymore is it? It’s “we” and “us.” Twelve-step groups say that this is a “we” program, not a “me” program—and that means we are a family. Just look at our Steps, they all say “We admitted” or “We came to believe.” Doing it together makes us stronger and less likely to fool ourselves with dysfunctional ways of thinking. Many people say, “Our mind is a dangerous neighborhood to be in alone.” But, together we can become the “neighborhood block watch!” So, don't let your mind get the better of you. Turn that “m” in “me” upside down (just as we are asked to turn it over), and make a “we” out of that “me.”
I may not have it all together, BUT
together WE have it all!
But even as our diversity makes us unique, our addiction makes us all one and the same. The emphasis, in C.D.A., is placed on this common ground.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 16
March 21
We tried to carry the message—for it is in giving that we receive. ~Father John Doe
When we “carry the message,” we are giving back what was so freely given to us. This is one of the main tenets and purposes for the Fellowship. This important principle is covered in Step Twelve and Tradition Five. But, notice in Step Twelve that it is written “tried to carry,” not “carried” the message! Trying to carry our message is all we ever need do, because it is not within our power to get anyone drunk or to keep them sober. Yet trying is not confined to 12-step calls and sponsoring new members. In C.D.A., “carrying the message” includes living clean and sober, keeping meetings open, voting in our home group, and living a meritorious life. So, it is not just a matter of carrying the message, but rather, it is a matter of living the message! Then, by living the message, we become the message.
Sometimes I carry the message.
Sometimes I am the message.
Newcomers and sponsees are put in our paths for many reasons, some of which we never know. The Step says only that we try to carry the message. The outcomes of these encounters are always left to God.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 83
March 22
Experience is the only teacher that gives the test first and the lesson later. ∼Collection of Eastern Wisdom Philosophy
How many times have people tried to console us by saying something like, “Well, at least you learned a good lesson?” This is a good way to frame a not-so-happy event in our lives—if we actually learn from it. Yet, if we console ourselves by saying “good lesson learned” and then moronically turn around and do it again, the lesson isn’t getting through to us. Maybe we lost a job because of chronic tardiness. If we learned the lesson, we'd get to work on time with the new job. If we didn’t learn, then we'd find new excuses for being late. Have we gotten ourselves into debt with uncontrolled spending? If we accrue credit card debt again even after refinancing the house, then we probably didn’t learn the lesson. In recovery we don’t let experience be something we get only after we need it.
I not only share my experience with others,
I share it with myself as well.
One of the things I learned was that out of all bad can come good, if we're willing to recognize the ways to make that happen.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 245
March 23
The only place you can find success before work is in the dictionary. ∼May V. Smith
“Bring the body and the mind will follow” is something we tell the newcomer often. What we mean by it is that if they keep coming back and stay chemical-free, soon enough their mind will clear up. Eventually, the newcomer will begin to understand that in order to truly recover they must do the work, not sit around and expect the Program to magically work for them. There is a distinction between the Program working for someone and someone working the Program. The next time a newcomer says, “The Program isn’t working for me,” we can agree with them. We can tell them, “The only people who stay sober are the ones who work the Program, not the ones who wait for the Program to work for them.” We tell the newcomer to bring their body to more meetings until they get it!
I teach the newcomer that when they work the Program hard, life is easy. When they work
the Program easy, life is hard.
I had really tried to work the program, this time. And even though I had gone back out so many times before, I was now clean and sober.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 256
March 24
Sometimes it’s best to use my teeth as a grill for my tongue. ∼Joann M.
When using, everything was a reaction—usually an instant one and usually a bad one! If the other person said mean things, we would say meaner things back. If someone on the phone hung up on us, we might return the favor by calling back ten times just to hang up on them. It’s a lot easier to react than it is to think. Part of our new way of life is practicing rational thinking. When the behavior of another catches us by surprise, we pause—think—take a deep breath—and act, if necessary, or perhaps not act at all. Sometimes it is better to do nothing than it is to react. Our action might include prayer, calling our sponsor, taking a walk, or attending a meeting. What it doesn’t include is reacting willy-nilly to the world around us, hurting others because we are hurt, or lashing out before we pause and think it through.
When caught off guard, I take a moment to make contact with my Higher Power, so that I can act, rather than react to the world around me.
Of course, I reacted immaturely, and, as a direct result, both my best friend and I were subsequently released from active duty and honorably discharged.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 262
March 25