I keep doing what keeps me here.
Just because I've been clean and sober for a while, I can't expect that, in order to live happily ever after, it is enough to simply stop doing what I did before I came into the program.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 297
March 7
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ∼Albert Einstein
Albert Einstein was a very wise man and his quote is one we use often in the 12-step Fellowships. But, there are many things we have to do over and over again in order to get it through our thick heads. It’s not that we expect different results—we just expect any results! For instance, we have to read recovery literature and meditations over and over again so recovery principles will sink into our very being. We must go to meetings over and over again in order to bolster our support and continue to grow. We must call our sponsor over and over again so that we “get” what it is they need to teach us. “Over and over” again isn’t bad when we use repetition to support ourselves and grow in recovery. It is healthy when it supports the results we want, but repetition is insane when we keep getting results we don’t want.
I do what I can, let go of what I can't, and
leave the results to my Higher Power.
That is the insanity of this disease - that I could, over, and over, and over, do the same thing and expect different results, every single time. But the results were always the same, and always devastating.
~Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 238
March 8
There is only one key, and it is called willingness. ~Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Releasing our reservations about recovery is the first step to finding the keys to our own personal kingdom. And releasing our reservations is called “willingness.” None of us can claim true willingness, however, if we place conditions on what we are willing to accept in recovery. Our Higher Power may want us to delve deeper into our character than we want to, or do types of service work that we don’t like. It is acceptance of where we came from, where we are going, and what God’s will is for us—acceptance without reservation—that becomes true willingness. Willingness opens many doors in a strong recovery. It is of no use to accept God’s will in our lives if we reserve the right not to accept what we don’t like! Strength lies within willingness. Self-will lies in the reservations.
I set my reservations aside, fully accepting
God’s will, so that my “willingness” is
not actually “self-willingness.”
If I had only been willing to change my lifestyle, I could have had a life worth living so much sooner.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 362
March 9
This life’s five windows of the soul,
distorts the Heavens from pole to pole,
and leads you to believe a lie,
When you see with, not thro’, the eye.
∼William Blake
It is said that love is blind, and along those same lines, we recognize that “hate is blind,” “fear is blind,” and “anger is blind,” as well. Intense emotions obscure our sight and distort what is actually before us. Our perceptions become distorted and we suffer from a type of “mind-blindness.” When we see through the eyes of hate, we see enemies. When we see through the eyes of fear, we see danger. When we see through the eyes of anger, we see conflict. When we look through our eyes and not with our emotions, we actually stand a chance of seeing the bona fide reality. Our sponsors have the job of acting as our seeing-eye dog so that we may navigate these intense, distorted emotions. They help us see through life’s “blind spots.”
I do not allow my mind-blindness to keep me
from seeing my spiritual possibilities.
I was completely blind to life and had no idea what it was all about. I had no principles, no values. But you people loved me until I was able to establish some principles and values to use in everyday living.
~Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 370
March 10
Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of them. ∼Epictetus
Life is about ten percent of what happens to us and about ninety percent of how we react to it. Knowing that, it is easy to see that if all our reactions are cast in a positive light, then only about ten percent of our world can ever be “dark.” How can we do this? The answer is a simple one: We need to see the glass half full as compared to half empty. Pollyanna received a gift of crutches instead of a doll. She could have been sad that she didn’t get a doll, but instead she was happy because she didn’t need to use the crutches. Let’s not be bummed that we don’t make more money, but rather be grateful that we have a job. Let’s not be unhappy because our partner isn’t perfect. How about being grateful that someone loves us, warts and all? We choose the way in which we see the world.
I don’t have a problem unless I think I do.
I remember someone sharing that he had felt like such a loser and had had no hope that the future would be any better. But after coming into C.D.A., all his problems had become challenges.
~Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 141
March 11
Living in Fellowship: Perhaps nothing else exists that can so completely multiply all our joys and divide all our grief. ∼Day By Day
In Russian, the word for “share” means literally “to divide.” Thus, it is no surprise that Russians in the Fellowship innately understand that to share with others means to divide our burden. Each time we share a trouble, we leave another little piece of the weight of our burden at the meeting or with another person in the Fellowship. This has several unexpected benefits for all. We allow others to practice the principles by reaching out to us, someone else might be experiencing the same burden and benefit from the discussion, and newcomers see first hand how it works. So from the Russian language we learn to share (divide) our burden and lighten our load. Thus, we understand the European Proverb that shared joy is doubled joy; shared sorrow is half the sorrow.
My problems shared are
my problems halved.
One man there spoke of his guilt about the way he'd stolen from his mother {…}. When I shared, I related to him my remorse, in my early recovery, regarding my mother. And I saw a little of the pain leave his eyes.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 122-123
March 12
Sobriety often brings us effects we never expected, like becoming the person we used to resent. ~The Pocket Sponsor
Yes, many of us probably resented those people who lived decent lives. Sometimes we pretended we were living decent lives ourselves, but almost certainly we felt deep down inside that we were fakes. Other times we thought of ourselves as rebels or eccentrics, and we laughed at the straight world. But again, “me thinks he doth protest too much” because our higher self knew we were only acting the part, and we did a darn poor job of acting, as well. There always was an element in us that wanted to be reputable, creditable, and respectable. We may come into recovery to stop using mind-affecting chemicals, but we gain much more than that. We become the person we said we resented.
If I don’t