Adult stress is difficult enough, but to be a child, helpless to accurately express their feelings and emotions, stress robs them of their childhood and sculpts out their upcoming adulthood in a very unpromising manner. Stress spreads. In families, children quickly adapt their own lives to mimic the turmoil they have experienced. Their parent’s stress trickles, imprinting an emotional roadmap that incorporates stress passed down from generation to generation.
The Life-long Effects of Labeling
By the age of five years, children are adopting the labels placed upon them by their families. They begin as blank slates, but they don’t remain pure for very long before they are covered in societal graffiti, each mark formulating self-worth. Some of the more fortunate children may be applauded for their intelligence, their beauty, or their winning personalities, while others wait for their turn to be special. Yet as each day passes, their self-esteem falls away until they come to the realization that their turn may never come. Their stress is marked by isolation, sadness, complacency. If we fast-forward ten or twenty years, these children become adults with difficulties in social, personal, occupational and legal situations. Stress has defined their future.
Satori and the Human Spirit
What can be done? Fortunately, the human spirit perseveres. It begs for another chance. It begs for Satori. Satori is actually the “ah-ha” moment when you finally “get it”. It is the moment when you come to the realization that whether you have done your best or not, every situation is a life-lesson from which to learn before moving on. It is the process that retrains your brain to listen to the intelligence that resides in your heart, rather than the programming that resides in your mind.
Satori is the moment when you can forgive yourself for being human, and replace unrealistic expectations with those that are more reasonable. Satori is not unlike a loving mother nurturing her child, hugging him, protecting him, righting him when he stumbles, and setting him carefully back on his feet. It is the moment when all is once again right with the world. It is never too late to change the manner in which you raise your children, connect with your spouse, or mesh with your co-workers. It is never too late to like the person you are. If today is the day you have dedicated to being the first day of making a change, tomorrow will find you better off because of it.
Living up to the façade of the perfect life had been easy. I appeared to be happy because the loss of my happiness was so gradual, so insidious, that for the longest time I didn’t realize that the joy I felt in my heart at one point in my life had dissipated to the point that I almost couldn’t remember it. Furthermore, I couldn’t even pinpoint the exact decade that I stopped experiencing those feelings of inner happiness. I simply woke up one day and realized I was living a lie.
Like our storyteller, most individuals set aside their awareness of their feelings to master life’s tasks. Then one day, they wake up and realize that the person they once knew, themselves, is missing. This loss causes anxiety and profound sadness. There are many public smiles masking private sorrow. Take off your mask. You are about to reconnect with yourself, and reclaim your life. You just have to believe.
Satori awaits you!
*
CHAPTER ONE PRACTICAL EXERCISE
The goal of this exercise is to take an inventory of your current life, and pinpoint how much of that life actually belongs to you, to do with as you please. If you are like most of us, you may be quite surprised at the results.
To make a blueprint of your current life, take a pair of scissors and cut out several two or three- inch squares from a plain piece of paper. Now think about all the aspects that make up your life, and write each of them down, one at a time, on each paper. For example, if you are married, jot that down; if you have children add that as well. Continue adding squares to depict your employment, your hobbies, and your responsibilities. If you care for aged parents, put it down. If you volunteer, list that as well.
Think of every moment that you spend time at the grocery store, filling the car up with gas, helping the kids with homework, cutting the lawn and taking the dog for a walk. If you don’t have at least ten to twenty squares of paper filled out, think harder. Don’t forget holiday obligations, church or religious duties, Friday night dinner parties, babysitting for the neighborhood children while their parents are out of town, dog-sitting, house-sitting, work-related trips. You may find you have one hundred or more squares before you have finished. Now spread them all out on a table top. There! You are well on your way to mapping out your life.
Now, one by one, remove all the pieces of paper that have to do with obligations and responsibility. For example, taking long walks in the park with your camera on a crisp fall morning might fall into the category of a non-contractual, non-obligatory responsibility, unless you take a long walk in the park, but talk on the phone about business while you are walking. If that is the case, your “free time” has just become a responsibility…and it needs to be removed. Now let’s see how many squares of paper are left. Many of you might be surprised to find there is nothing left on the table! If so, we have some work to do! If there are one or more pieces of paper left on the table, it indicates an attempt to schedule-in personal time. Unless there are significant squares left on the table, however, you are probably recognizing that things are going to have to change if you want to eliminate stress.
The purpose of this exercise is two-fold. First, you have just laid out your life in black and white. Second, you can see just where improvements need to be made. We will revisit this exercise later, and you should be pleasantly surprised at how many more squares of paper are left on the table as you work toward achieving your goals.
CHAPTER ONE SATORI EXERCISE
If you haven’t already done so, it is time to download your Satori Music Program. This program can by downloaded to your computer, and then synched to an iPod, mobile phone, or other listening device through iTunes or the music management program of your choice. If you do not have an MP3 listening device, you can listen directly from your computer, using stereo headphones. To download, go to http://www.satoribook.com/free_music.html. You will need to use the password SATORIMUSIC to receive your free download.
Your first Satori exercise is designed to awaken a tremendous power that lies within you. To do so, we will start with an illustration that demonstrates the profound effect that your thoughts have on your physical body. At this point, you should start your Satori music. It is important that you listen to the music through headphones or ear buds. Sit in a quiet place, where you know you will not be disturbed. Make yourself comfortable. Take a few deep breaths, breathing out the tension in your body.
Now, imagine your spouse, partner or friend standing in front of you with a plate filled with slices of lemons. Imagine reaching out, picking up a slice of lemon with your thumb and index finger, and PUTTING IT IN YOUR MOUTH. Now imagine biting down on it.
Be observant. Did your mouth secrete saliva? What does this tell you? The answer is simply that the words you use, the images you create, DO HAVE POWER! This is the exact same effect that stressful or negative thoughts have on our bodies. When we think negatively, stressfully or fearfully, our bodies secrete hormones that place us in a fight – or –flight mode…even if the danger is only in our minds.
Now, continue. First, take some slow, deep breaths and stare into space until the distance blurs. It is best to repeat this exercise with your eyes closed. In your mind, focus on your feet. After a few seconds have passed, you should begin feeling a tingling sensation. Imagine that you can feel your blood actually moving through your feet. Continue to focus on them for a few more seconds. Now, move that focus to your hands, allowing the energy you feel in your feet to travel through your legs, up into your torso, and into your arms to your hands. Feel them tingle. Continue slow breathing and move back and forth, shifting your focus between your hands and feet, then