Empowered Healing. Susanne M. Alexander

I could still pray, and that was a key quality indicator for me.

      It was a continual adventure trying to maintain the quality of my physical life. I evaluated treatment options, choosing some. At times, I declined ones that would interfere too much with life. Surgeries often seemed to occur as emergencies, and I wish I had done a better job of having discussions with the surgeon ahead of time about their possible impact on the quality of my functioning. Managing medications and supplements was another area of constant adjustment and at times experimentation, as I worked with my doctors and caregivers to maximize health and reduce symptoms from the treatments and spread of the tumor.

      I enhanced the quality of my mental and emotional life with the support of family, friends, and many other resources. I requested that sick friends not visit, but I didn’t isolate myself, as I believed enjoying the visitors enhanced my immune system strength. I was confident that the happiness I felt from having visitors was very healing. As I began in-home hospice care, I included music and art therapy to enhance the quality of my time and help me process the emotions of that stage. At that point, quality for me became days when there was more to be grateful for than to complain about!

      The quality of my spiritual life expanded and grew throughout the whole journey, as I increased the amount of prayer, meditation, and visualization I did. I continually adjusted my participation in spiritual activities, but stayed involved throughout.

      Susanne: My goal throughout my husband’s cancer journey was to identify and facilitate whatever enhanced his quality of life. This meant such actions as: encouraging and coordinating visits, messages, and phone calls from family and friends; supporting him working and staying in touch with coworkers; taking him places outside of our home; adjusting our home environment for comfort, safety, and to support well-being; picking up library materials; cooking nutritious and favorite foods; and learning to do my husband’s usual tasks well enough that he would no longer worry about them getting done.

      It became clear to me along the way that it was important to my husband’s happiness that I also take care of myself and maintain quality of life for me as well. The medical establishment focuses on the patient and not much on the well-being of the caretaker, so it was up to me to make good choices. Caring friends and relatives regularly reminded me that I could best help my husband if I took care of myself. This empowered me to take naps, rest, exercise, and eat well.

      I attended my own support group, listened to relaxation recordings, prayed, received regular massages, and took respite days while a friend stayed in our home. I facilitated spiritual groups in our home, and I also made time to enjoy occasional meals out with close friends. I requested family and friends to keep our home supplied with beautiful flowers to uplift my spirits, and they did so. I did grieving work with the help of others as each loss or change occurred. Through all these efforts, I stayed in much better shape physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually than I ever dreamed was possible.

      Practice in Action

      Ask yourself regularly whether you are making choices that enhance your quality of life, and step into action to change direction as needed.

      Beneficial Character Strengths

      Enthusiasm is expressing genuine positive and joyful feelings, often in a high-spirited way, about an occasion, activity, important occurrence, goal, person, or extraordinary situation.

      Flexibility is adjusting to life as it happens and embracing changes as needed, while remaining true to one’s core values, beliefs, and appropriate priorities.