Use concrete language and visual specifics to describe your concept, product, or services.
Myth #2: Only Experts Deserve to Speak in Public, and I’m Not One
Becoming an expert is a time-consuming, arduous process that only a select few achieve in their respective fields. I applaud experts. But I don’t want or need to become one. Although every industry employs experts for research and analysis, we typically don’t form strategic alliances with them. And in my experience, few experts rise to the top of organizations.
In addition, I’ve rarely listened to an expert who succeeded in persuading an audience, especially when the goal was to influence others to take an action or change their behavior. Experts are known for being objective, fact-based, and analytical, so their presentations tend to appeal to the intellect. After all, it’s an expert’s job to inform, educate, and convey information.
Of course, education and information can comprise a portion of any talk, but not its entirety. It’s crucial that you carefully select which data to incorporate, choosing only what supports your argument or premise, rather than rattling off figures and statistics that bore or cause the audience to feel overloaded by too much information.
Also, an exclusively objective talk doesn’t include the speaker’s opinions. As an expert, the presenter carefully builds a case and reports the facts or supporting arguments without featuring her perspective. Interestingly, when a speaker does take on the role of an expert, she’s asking the audience to debate, question, and even disagree with the content she presents. In psychology, this is called “priming.”35 Is it any wonder that women who strive to be experts are fearful of how they’ll be perceived? It’s like encouraging an audience to mentally (and sometimes verbally) tear apart your content. Talk about pressure!
Instead, when a speaker commits to convincing her audience, there are a myriad of tools she can employ. She can be passionate about her topic. She can target her comments to what is relevant to her audience. She can tell stories. And she can add her own perspective based on her experience, observations, or beliefs.
When you choose a role other than expert, it doesn’t matter if someone disagrees with you. It’s only one person’s opinion versus yours. I’ve enjoyed listening to great speakers who are competitive, goal-oriented, and intentional. They understand how these traits serve them. These same traits have to be subsumed if you take on the role of an expert. And of course, there will always be someone smarter or more experienced than you.
The good news is that most of the boring, long, and forgettable presentations I’ve listened to were delivered by speakers who believed they needed to be an expert before they had the right to address an audience. Don’t make that mistake. Take the pressure off yourself. You and your audience will be grateful.
Myth #3: It’s Unprofessional to Include My Values, Experience, or Perspective When Presenting a Business Topic
Somewhere along the line, it became pro forma to leave our opinion or perspective out of presentations, essays, and negotiations. I think habit and the fear of being judged drives this condition for women.
Perhaps it was passed down from one generation of business executives to the next. Or we copied speakers who were cautious or boring. Or we didn’t want to be challenged. Regardless of where we learned it, we accepted the message that to be taken seriously, we needed to be as objective as possible. This form of communication no longer serves us.
When training women clients, I carefully listen for how they assemble their content. If they go on too long or sound as if they’re delivering a clinical report on their topic, I’ll interject and ask for an “I” statement. It’s valuable for the speaker to include her perspective or tell me why she took a particular course of action. Including your take on a subject is not self-aggrandizing. When a speaker shares her unique perspective, the audience understands why it’s important to her and will more readily buy in.
When a speaker shares her unique perspective, the audience understands why it’s important to her and will more readily buy in.
There was a study conducted in the mid-1990s that’s still relevant today. Published as Self-Presentation Impression Management and Interpersonal Behavior, the study by Mark R. Leary determined the two most important factors required for a speaker to achieve a high likability quotient.36 The first is that the speaker needs to reveal something about herself (or her perspective) in her opening remarks. And the second is that her presentation should be tailored or customized to the audience.37
What fascinates me about this study is that even when someone disagrees with you, she’ll be more receptive if you risked sharing your take on the subject. I’ve noticed, whether the topic is economics, women’s health, or immigration, when a speaker presents a compelling, well-constructed argument and includes her own perspective, she has my attention. I’m impressed (and more easily swayed) because she’s courageous enough to take a public stand. In other words, I like her more.
Women have told me that their challenge is to be seen as respected professionals. As a result, they’re fearful that revealing something about their experience or perspective will somehow reduce their credibility. It’s the opposite. When you open up and give your opinion—as long as it’s thoughtful and relevant to the topic—you’re more likable, you’ll be taken seriously, and you’ll be seen as a leader. Here’s an example of a client we worked with at Eloqui who wanted to move into upper management.
Bobbie* was an analyst for one of the world’s largest technology firms. She came to us because she hadn’t been promoted in years and she felt that her career had stalled.
Every month, Bobbie was responsible for delivering the numbers and reporting on the effectiveness of two payment-process systems so her superiors could decide which to roll out to their customers.
Over five coaching sessions, we did our best to persuade Bobbie that in addition to delivering the numbers, she should include her professional opinion. Bobbie wouldn’t budge. She argued that we “didn’t understand her technology firm and advocating for one position over the other just wasn’t done.”
When we finally convinced her that she had nothing to lose, Bobbie gave her supervisors a compelling argument about why, from her perspective, one system was preferred over the other. One month later, Bobbie was promoted to a managerial position.
All this time, her superiors had been waiting for Bobbie to express her opinion and take a stand—they wanted to be sure she was capable of leading.
I understand Bobbie’s dilemma. We’ve worked at companies where the corporate culture doesn’t support or encourage innovation—except within extremely narrow parameters. I’m paraphrasing, but the thinking goes something like this: “There is the (company name) way. The company has a template to be followed for career advancement. There is a specific profile of what an executive looks and sounds like at the company.” If there’s no flexibility in how you communicate your message, it’s worth asking yourself whether the company you’re at is the best place for you to grow and develop your unique skills.
There’s another compelling reason for adding your own perspective or experience, especially at the beginning of a talk. Speaker anxiety typically peaks a couple of minutes before and during the first few minutes of a presentation. One of the best ways to mitigate anxiety is to speak about something from your own experience that you know well.
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* Stories