The spirit of cooperation was alive and well when we visited the small, more modern village of Kalives. We were enjoying a late afternoon coffee at the kafenio on the narrow street that flows through the village, leisurely watching both time and people go by. The noise of the regional bus coming down the street broke the silence. Suddenly, the bus stopped and we realized that it was unable to pass by because a motorcycle was jutting out into the road. Three local men jumped into action. One helped the bus driver back the large bus up a few feet while the other two moved the motorcycle off the road. Then, inch-by-inch the bus moved forward and around the motorcycle and eventually was able to be on its way. The event provided ten minutes of excitement before we all went back to enjoying our afternoon coffees, reflecting on the knowledge that life requires a group effort.
—XENOPHON
Today, instead of being connected to the others we know for the necessities of life, we rely on strangers and institutions for our survival. We seldom barter with a neighbor or even know where our food is grown or comes from; we usually rely on a weekly transaction at a supermarket for everything, including our eggs! We seldom rely on others for our news, we rely on the internet. Elders seldom stay in the family home; they are checked into “old age” homes. We also now rely more on ourselves, resulting in a false sense of security. Instead of borrowing tools from our neighbors, we simply buy our own. Instead of asking others to help us, we simply do the chore ourselves. In doing so, what have we lost? Have we tried so hard to be self-sufficient that we cut ourselves off from one another? Perhaps if we had less financial wealth and material possessions, we would have to rely on others more, like the Greeks in the village do. Survival in the traditional Greek village depends on collective strength of the villagers, not the strength of one individual. This structure gives each villager a sense of comfort; villagers know that their family and village will be there to care for them. This mentality arose out of their historical struggles—throughout many wars, foreign occupations, and changes in government regimes, they had to rely on one another for survival.
An old man gave each son a stick. “Break them,” he said to his sons. Each son easily broke his own stick. Next the old man took several sticks and tied them together in a bundle. He handed the bundle to his first son and commanded, “Break it.” Unable to do so, the first son passes the bundle to the second son. One by one each son strained to break the bundle but was unable to do so. Union gives strength. Divided we are weak and vulnerable; but together we are strong. There is strength in numbers if we “stick” together.
—Aesop’s Fables (Greece, ca 620–560 BC)
The village is the sum of all who live there. It is the sum of all their thoughts and actions. As a member of the village, it is one’s duty to take an active role in supporting it. In good times and in troubled times, villagers rely on their shared purpose and allegiance to the village. An ancient phrase known to many Greeks is “help me so I can help you so that together we can climb the mountain.” Your success is our success and our success is your success. The spirit of the village manifests itself as a “win-win,” because villagers realize that it is in their individual and collective best interests to connect meaningfully with one another. In this way, the whole truly is greater than the sum of its parts.
We know every person influences the village, either positively or negatively, as his or her good or bad behavior ripples through the village. Everyone makes a difference and everyone has an impact. Even if someone tries to stay neutral or even disengaged, this attitude also makes a difference to the whole. The village is like an ecosystem in nature, interconnected, inseparable parts of the whole.
But which takes priority—the village or the individual? The ancient Greeks valued the individual and strongly believed that all individuals must make the effort to become the best they can be. They also valued private ownership of property and, of course, were well-known for introducing the concept of democracy (one person, one vote) to the world. To them, individual identity (and freedom) was very important and needed to be protected.
Over time, however, we have swung the pendulum so far toward the individual that some have classified our society as suffering from hyperindividualism. When we embrace too much focus on the individual, we disregard the impact that our thoughts, words, and actions have on the collective, which leads to the fragmentation of the whole and, eventually, to isolation, loneliness, and even depression. When we get lost in big cities, we no longer feel the loyalty to or connection with others, and engage in expressions of selfishness, such as graffiti, rioting, and crime. When we get lost in big companies or governments, we no longer feel connected and are less willing to make any sacrifices for the good of the group or our customers. We believe in “me first” and may even decide to make our own rules.
It’s a delicate balance to define the self within the context of cooperation with others. We need both separation and togetherness to thrive. But if we don’t emphasize what connects us, we will be divided. If we don’t look out for the village, then the benefits of the village begin to erode and the ultimate meaning of self suffers as a consequence.
—ARISTOTLE
Summary
The urges to connect and to belong are the most basic of human needs and are central to the human experience. Aristotle taught us that we are political (social) animals—we thrive when we connect. The ancient Greeks also believed that we are all connected to the energy of a larger system, to a greater whole. Importantly, the root of many of our challenges today can be traced to a lack of meaningful connections with others. The antidote for this lack of connection, loneliness, and isolation is to reach outside ourselves and invest our energies in creating better “villages,” both at work and at home. In no small way, the depth of our lives depends on the depth of our relationships with others. Meaning is found in the context of our day-to-day lives, connecting with others. We will have meaning in our lives as long as others need us and we need them.
OPA! AFFIRMATION
I find joy and meaning in my life when I connect meaningfully with others in the village.
We have a weakness for fresh seafood, and during one trip to Greece, we had what we referred to as a spiritual experience, indulging in the best octopus we’d ever eaten. Our evening began with a leisurely stroll along the beachfront into the historic old town of Rethymno, where the narrow streets and alleyways take one back in time. We stumbled upon Cavo D’oro, a tiny restaurant nestled in the picturesque old harbor. Comfortably seated with a view of the pristine water, we noticed that a small blue and white boat moored in the water close to the restaurant was for sale.
“Should we buy it?” we joked with each other. When our waiter, Giorgos, stopped by our table