Commercial Intercourse is better known by the name Negotiations. Surely you have heard of Neuro Linguistic Programming, Priming, Neuro Economics or Cold Reading. Maybe you have seen some examples on television, series like “Lie to me” and “The Mentalist” that made you wonder if those polished tricks had a basis of truth. In assuming this, you are not far off the truth but the answer is no as well as yes. There are ways of influencing each other that remain hidden from most human eyes, yet we can learn to read those signs by raising our Emotional Intelligence. It all starts with acknowledging the very existence of invisible communication.
The manner in which we make decisions can be analysed on a completely new basis. And what can we learn from that? That we are by no means the individuals we think we are – that there are some common denominators, rules of a mental nature, that we all react to.
While we like to assume that our every decision is a careful weighing of pros and cons, in fact the difference between yes and no is often much smaller than we assume and trying to push people around has the opposite effect.
Dr. Milton L. Erickson, the grandfather of Neuro Linguistic Programming, was already describing in the fifties how people, when pushed in one direction displayed the strange urge to go the other way. Their most inner thoughts became transparent: “You cannot make me!” This response is very prominent during negotiations and is one of the cornerstones of the NegoLogic training program.
This much newer development proves that people take important business decisions based on the overall experience instead of bare facts and figures. It isn’t just the details that make us decide, but the manner in which we reach the point of yes or no. In other words, it is the human interaction that plays a large role in NegoLogical thinking.
We are unlikely to separate impulses from decisions yet it is the impulse that often gives us the boost to decide. Because it is not generally accepted that you make important decisions based on an impulse – a hunch – we always look for a ‘valid’ explanation.
This explanation is one of the keys to open the lock to hidden fortunes. The Story2Tell others decide for us. If the story doesn’t add up, our decision is likely to be negative as well. If the story shows that we emerge as a winner, we are sure to agree. And what about the negotiation itself? Isn’t money all that matters?
Surprising as this may sound, the answer is no.
NegoLogic shines a new light on commercial interaction by taking advantage of the human predictability factor.
Doing business on any level means walking the high rope in a very natural balance. Every single person on earth is sensitive to the logic behind the deal. We can learn how to separate impulses from decisions, and why it is fruitful to plant an impulse inside the head of another person. It is possible to change the direction of our argument drastically, to trigger the right response from whoever is opposing us.
Once this door has been opened, it will become almost second nature to give negotiations exactly what is needed instead of just opposing each other in a predictable and often ineffectual manner. But there is more than that. You will not only balance the negotiation, but every single argument, proposal, and objective that you face.
The NegoLogic philosophy is a great asset for anyone who negotiates, because it begins where other methods end, with the realisation that interaction outweighs any result. This effect is known as ‘neuroeconomics’, which is just practical business psychology. Our aim is to reach exceptional results in one-to-one commercial negotiations, but some aspects can also be used for procurement and resolving conflicts. Every time you face someone of flesh and blood you will be able to use NegoLogic.
Here is the blueprint for the way issues are presented throughout this book. First we Focus on the problem or discovery, then we Elaborate its aspects and finally we bring the Solution. Just like the following:
FOCUS: Why do intelligent people turn into Pavlov’s dogs when they negotiate?
Who injected us with the “knowledge” to downgrade the position of the opposing party and blatantly upgrade our own, beyond all fact and reason?
ELABORATE: This “method” is ineffective because we cease listening to each other if we do not like the messages that reach our ears. Here is a matter of fact: any predictable attitude adds to the abyss we naturally have to bridge – our difference in value because if there is one thing we can bank on it is that buyers want to reach the lowest price, and sellers the highest. We hope to accomplish this by talking negatively about what we want to buy, and only positively about what we are selling. This makes no sense.
SOLUTION: What would happen if we were able to break out of that vicious circle – if we could place the money issue on a lower shelf, as it were, so it is just a segment of the negotiation, like pride, acknowledgement, and satisfaction?
NegoLogic establishes us as extremely reliable, painfully honest – to the point of neutral – dealmakers. We acknowledge both sides of the coin and do not shy away from mentioning negative elements, even though these may seem to “hurt” our own position.
This way we gain an unusual level of trust with our opponents, and our sole remaining disagreement (the price) can be resolved by dissecting the value, and putting it back together again in any way that fits our purpose.
I must emphasise that it is not our aim to emerge from the negotiation as “the winner”, but to get our valuation across.
This must be our only objective.
In introducing this approach we should address the common denominators of behaviour – the mistakes that we all make to some extent, every single one of us.
Let’s kick this uneven match off with a very stupid question:
“Which tool is imperative to close deals?”
Your most likely answer would be: “Money or assets.”
That answer is right – as well as wrong!
Yes, money is a major tool for any negotiator ...but... there is a BIG but ...the real asset is planting the right emotion inside the mind of the opposing party. They must “feel” that the deal we are bringing to the table is too good to miss.
Feel? That is a word we rarely see in any negotiation book!
FOCUS: We have been misled into believing that money is all that matters. Because we have always been told that – like computers – both parties have their bottom line set out in a very rigid manner. The idea is that the other side will only trade with us if they get a deal that satisfies them, anything in between what they hope for and what they are willing to settle for and within those margins, we face a brick wall that cannot be breached.