I Leave You With These Thoughts
Guided Meditation
Resources
In this book, Tom Catton has interwoven the liberation teachings of the Buddha with twelve-step recovery. A passionate practitioner of both traditions, he offers his deeply felt words and stories as an invitation to discover that freedom that is unconditioned by the particular circumstances of our lives.
It has been my good fortune and privilege to have known Tom for many years. Between the covers of this book you will come to know a man whose generous and compassionate heart has blessed many people. He does not talk about love; he writes from the ground of love that moves within him. He points to the transformative possibilities at the heart of Buddhism and twelve-step recovery.
This book is the product of an unfolding spiritual odyssey. It is a journey of inner discovery that will be of reassurance and inspiration to those wishing to embark on their own spiritual journey. I am grateful that Tom has documented his life in this heartfelt and deeply human way.
Gavin Harrison
Author of Petals and Blood: Stories, Dharma & Poems of Ecstasy, Awakening & Annihilation and In the Lap of the Buddha
I must thank The All That Is, the joyful energy that created everything. I become overwhelmed with gratitude when I’m mindful that I’m a part of this cosmic dance. Thank you always to my beautiful wife, Bea, who is my dance partner and a constant reminder that all is perfect in its changing form. Thanks to the many people who touch my heart daily. Your friendship and support are appreciated.
I find myself constantly moved to write down the spiritual nonsense that streams through me. It’s there when I wake up in the middle of the night, while sitting in meditation, while driving my car. I find myself scribbling it down at all hours of the day and night. This leads me to give special thanks to the several people who took each chapter I sent to them and literally crossed the T’s and dotted the I’s. Their talent made nonsense make sense.
Thank you so much to the publishing team at Central Recovery Press for allowing this second book to find its way to readers around the world. I love being a part of CRP; thank you.
In the early 1930s, a hopeless alcoholic sought help from Dr. Carl Jung, a well-known Swiss psychiatrist. The patient had resigned himself to the tormented reality that he suffered from the chronic inability to stop drinking. In those days, such people often ended up in jail or a mental institution; many lost everything that had ever been dear to them, including family, friends, careers, and ultimately, life itself. Addiction was viewed as a lapse in morality and had not yet been recognized as a medical disease.
This man came to Dr. Jung and asked for help. The psychiatrist told him that although he was unable to help him, he had—on a few rare occasions—seen someone in the grips of alcoholism go through a profound personality change brought on by an intense spiritual experience. This visit, generated by a feeling of hopelessness, set into motion an accumulation of events that gave birth to the Twelve Steps. The twelve-step movement became one of the most powerful spiritual movements of the twentieth century.
What follows on the pages to come is about this profound personality change—an awakening of the spirit—and the importance of it happening again and again.
I attended my first twelve-step meeting in February of 1968 and have practiced the spiritual principles of this path, along with complete abstinence from alcohol or other drugs, since October 20, 1971. There are times when the spiritual path calls upon us to let go of old ideas, people, places, and things. This can make us feel like we have been stripped of everything that has given us a sense of being.
The devotion to living a spiritual life becomes a life of letting go, and one of practicing the spiritual principles for eternity. Yet the paradox is that we attempt to practice these principles moment to moment, day to day. The poet Emily Dickinson once wrote that “Forever—is composed of Nows.” I believe this beautiful line is a prescient view of both the recovery and spiritual experiences. Even without our consent we seem to be led to surrender again and again; surrender becomes our offering to a world of impermanence.
I do not proclaim to be a meditation teacher, but it is with passion that I talk and write about the practice. I don’t work in the field of addiction, nor am I a therapist, but I sponsor and work the Twelve Steps with men around the globe.
I’m a simple recovery guy with a passion to grow spiritually and share the spiritual path with others. Our Twelfth Step states that we have had a spiritual awakening and we are to carry the message to others. The message is, and always has been, the spiritual awakening that comes from working the steps.
Like the pursuit of education in any other school, my spiritual education has included many different classes and teachers. The difference is that there will be no graduation day; the call for continuing education credits is ceaseless.
The way of the Veda or Vedanta influence in the sixties captured the attention of my spirit while it permeated the philosophy that influenced the “flower children.” I was immediately drawn to the words of Paramahansa Yogananda and Maharishi Mahesh Yogi; little intellectual understanding was necessary, as the vibration of their words found their way to my heart. I suddenly knew what I wanted to be when I grew up: a spiritual seeker. Since then, there has been no turning back.
Over forty years later, my education continues with enthusiasm. I walk a spiritual path characterized by diversity, and my soul has been touched by a number of practitioners from many different spiritual paths.
The Twelve Steps act as solar lights that illuminate the path, guiding me in the right direction. Embracing the Eleventh Step enables me to fly freely in continuing my awakening.
My aspiration is to sit with each of you in silence and be mindful of our breath, knowing when we breathe in and breathe out, walking in the Pure Land of the beautiful moment.
This book contains no story line. You may open it to any page and begin reading. Each page contains a suggested message of contemplation and reflection for your practice.
You will find that meditation is full of repetition, and at times your practice will be nothing more than continually returning to the breath. This book is filled with repetition, and this is because our wandering minds need to hear the message, again and again.
The question is not “Why does ego constantly insult us?” but rather “Why do we listen?”
Ego, our lifetime companion, is the reason we will spend our tenure on Earth in spiritual practice. We can see when working the Twelve Steps that their intent is to rid ourselves of this adversary, cleverly disguising itself as a whisper from the divine.
Admittedly the efforts of ego should be applauded; it performs its assigned task with a vengeance, always in pursuit to avert our attention from our true nature. The vehicle it uses is the unobserved mind.
We experience thousands of uninvited thoughts per hour, accompanied by their sidekicks, emotions. Many people move through life feeling overwhelmed by emotions, as if an avalanche is pouring over them. They become stressed, depressed, sad, and angry—the list goes on. This process perpetuates the everlasting search for the hidden treasure, the secret key that will relieve these unwanted symptoms and subsequent feelings. We become convinced