Growing Strong Girls. Lindsay Sealey

      Ask a girl to share her personality, and the qualities she feels she embodies, with you. Have conversations about hidden talents, strengths, and what she is learning to do. Be curious about her hopes and dreams and who she imagines becoming. Inner beauty—and nurturing a beautiful spirit—really does shine through and evolves into outer beauty. When a girl feels strong about her body and takes an inside-out approach to feeling and being beautiful, she is well on her way to understanding true beauty and the girl in the mirror.

       READ MORE

      The Body Image Workbook for Teens, by Julia V. Taylor

       VIEW MORE

      Killing Us Softly 4, Media Education Foundation Study Guide, by Jean Kilbourne

      “Looks Aren’t Everything. Believe Me, I’m a Model,” TED Talk by Cameron Russell

       CULTIVATING CONNECTION

      Let’s talk about:

      •The body parts that she loves and the ones she doesn’t love as much.

      •How she feels in her body and when she is moving her body.

      •What makes her feel the best in her body, and what makes her feel the worst.

      •What she thinks “sexy” means.

      •The three qualities that best describe who she is, and what outfits would best show these three qualities.

      •The facts about advertising and the media businesses wanting to sell products, labels, and brands, with the ideas and feelings these entail; and the one-sided news stories we hear.

      •How images are polished to perfection with techniques such as airbrushing, editing, and using Photoshop and filters. Consider experiment with Photoshop or other photo-editing software together.

      Let’s try:

      •Creating a list of three things she loves about her body, and posting the list by her mirror, so that when she looks in the mirror, she will be reminded to focus on what she loves.

      •Asking her to write a letter to her body, apologizing for any negative self-talk or neglect and expressing how she will take care of her body from now on.

      •Eliminating comparisons between her and her friends or between you and her. Avoid using phrases such as “prettier than” or “skinnier than.”

      •Encouraging her to replace phrases like “I feel fat” with “I will care for my body by. . .”

      •Inviting her to limit mirror time and screen time—there’s a whole world out there!

      •Helping her develop skills that are separate from her appearance. It’s important she be well groomed, but it’s equally important that her focus is on a skill set, such as a sport, art, music, theatre or schoolwork.

      •Teaching her what to do when people comment on her body without her permission: a light response such as You just focus on your body, I’ll focus on mine or a more direct response such as Exercise helps me to cope with stress and anxiety, and I love it.

      •Checking out movies, TV shows, and magazines together. Ask her what she notices, and ask her to evaluate it. For example: Do the models look like real people? Do they look like you and your friends? What do you think of their clothing? What does their “look” suggest about who they are? Do the characters show many qualities or just a few? How do you feel about what you see? Let her do all the critiquing.