As the years went by the people at the elementary school, the teachers and the students learned more about autism and came to understand Eric and accept him for who he was. It helped that the students in his class were told about his autism each year. This is a very personal decision that must be made carefully and with the approval of the person with autism. It may not be the right choice for all students on the autism spectrum. We discussed it with Eric and explained why we thought it would be helpful. He agreed that the other students should be told. We knew Eric’s behaviors would set him apart from the other students and that they would know something was different. When they understood it was the autism that made it difficult for him to communicate or made him act oddly at times, they were much more patient and supportive.
The autism outreach teacher talked to the class about Eric’s autism each year. (Eric was out of the classroom during these discussions.) He did a great job explaining the autism at the level the students could understand. He talked about it in much the same way as I did when explaining the diagnosis to Eric. He talked about how all children have differences and some can do things better than others and that everyone can do something well. He had the students talk about what they did well and what they had trouble doing. He then asked them to share what things they had seen Eric do well. The students had the opportunity to ask questions about autism and about Eric’s behaviors. Eric had very few bullying experiences in elementary school and I think educating the students had a great deal to do with that.
Middle school
I began worrying about middle school when Eric was in the third grade. I had heard and read other parents’ stories about bullying and social problems in middle school. I dreaded leaving the smaller, intimate campus of his elementary school where everyone had known him for years. I knew everything would be harder for Eric and that he would need as much preparation as possible for the transition.
I have a very vivid imagination. The picture in my mind of middle school was of total chaos, constant bullying, flunking classes, and Eric wandering the halls lost in a sea of students. Middle school was not like that. There were only a few bullying episodes. Eric never flunked any classes, and he learned to navigate the large campus fairly easily. This is not to say there weren’t problems, because there were. Middle school brought what were definitely the hardest years of public school for Eric and for me as his mother. But we both survived the three years of middle school relatively unscathed and those years actually turned out to be good learning experiences for both of us.
Preparation for the transition to middle school was important. It began in elementary school, in the fourth grade, well before the actual transition. When we had Eric’s IEP meeting at the end of fourth grade, our focus was on the skills he would need for middle school. We wanted to work on these skills during his last year of elementary school. We included goals in the IEP that targeted independence, social skills, and organizational skills (skills he would also eventually need in college). I knew these were weak areas for Eric and could be problems for him in middle school.
In addition to preparing Eric, I also needed to prepare myself for the transition by learning as much as I could about middle school. I talked to other parents of children on the autism spectrum who had been through middle school to find out what was helpful. I talked to friends with “typical” middle school children about what the student needs to be able to do in middle school. I called the guidance counselor at the middle school and asked her questions about the middle school student’s responsibilities. She explained about the “team” teaching concept used in our middle school and the role the guidance counselor would play when Eric came to her school.
At the end of fifth grade, when the transition to middle school was looming ahead of us, we had a very important IEP meeting. I requested the meeting to take place at the middle school, not at the elementary school where it would normally have occurred. I also invited everyone I could think of who could be helpful to us during this transition. The expected members of the team were there: the autism outreach teacher, the exceptional children’s (EC) representative from the elementary school and the EC representative from the middle school, the principal of the elementary school, the occupational therapist from the school system, and Eric’s current elementary school teacher. We also invited a middle school teacher to attend, someone who knew the sixth-grade curriculum. Eric’s sixth-grade teacher had not been chosen yet, or they would have been included. The guidance counselor from the middle school was also there. It was necessary to get the people who had worked with Eric in elementary school together with the people who were going to support him in middle school. The information that was shared during the meeting was crucial to Eric’s smooth transition to middle school.
Middle school meant there would be many changes, and change was not easy for Eric. At this age he was less rigid about his routines than he had been, but I knew he still needed time to prepare for the newness of everything he would be facing. Over the summer before middle school we talked about his new school quite a bit and drove by the school, pointing it out to him. Visits to the school were also helpful and we went there several times during the summer to familiarize Eric with the campus. I also arranged for Eric to get a copy of his class schedule early. We were able to walk through his schedule at the school ahead of time. The Open House, when students would normally walk their schedules for the first time with their parents, is usually loud, crowded, and confusing. I knew that would be overwhelming for Eric and not a good environment for him to learn his route to classes. We attended Open House, but after we had already walked his schedule at a quieter time.
The success of a student on the autism spectrum in middle school can be dependent on the amount and quality of communication between the school and home. Unfortunately, parents often find it harder to communicate with teachers in middle school and high school than with those in elementary school. Communicating the needs of your child to seven teachers is difficult. At many middle schools each teacher may have over one hundred different students a day. Daily communications or even weekly communications home are usually impossible.
It becomes more important than ever to meet with as many of the teachers as possible before the school year begins. When I met with the middle school teachers before school started I shared my concerns for Eric. I described what I thought would be difficult for him, and what information I would like teachers to relay to me about his progress or difficulties. I also emphasized to them that I was willing to support them in any way I could. If they wanted more information about autism or about Eric, I would be happy to try to answer their questions. I also volunteered to help in the classroom or on field trips. Meetings like this with parents before the start of school also gives teachers the opportunity to ask questions about the student and the disability and voice any concerns they may have.
A large number of people are going to have contact with your child in middle school. It helps to have at least one person at the school who knows your child and is willing to advocate for them. This may be a special education teacher, a guidance counselor, a principal, or a teacher. The guidance counselor was our consistent support person every year of middle school. I also found at least one person on Eric’s team of teachers each year who was particularly supportive and was willing to be a contact for me about my child. The teacher of the autism class at the middle school was also a good resource available to the other teachers. Even though she was not directly working with Eric, the teachers could contact her if they had questions about autism or wanted help developing strategies. It can be beneficial to have a student on the autism spectrum included at a school where a self-contained autism class is located. There is frequently more knowledge about autism at the school and the teacher and the classroom can be used as resources for the included student.
Organizational issues are often one of the biggest problems for included students on the autism spectrum in middle school. All teenagers have difficulty in this area to a certain degree, but for these students it can be a much bigger problem. For the first time, Eric was going to be changing classes seven times a day. He would have to keep up with assignments, notebooks, and books from seven different classes. I knew he would need accommodations and strategies to help with the organizational issues he would face in middle school.
The students at our middle school were required to have a small three-ring notebook for each class. Knowing Eric