“If you could describe your loved one in one or two words, what would they be?”
This is probably the most important question you will ask! The answer will often set the stage for your development of a theme!
“What were your loved one’s favorite hobbies?”
“What was your loved one’s favorite sport or sport figure?”
“What were your loved one’s favorite books/poems to read?”
The answer to this question gives you a great resource for quotes that apply to the life of the deceased.
“What was your loved one’s profession in life?”
“Was your loved one religious or spiritual in nature?”
This, of course, will help you determine if there should be any religious/spiritual tones to the service, or to keep it strictly secular.
“What was your loved one’s favorite music and singer/band?”
This question will help you determine songs to play during the visitation and service. You can even use quotes from a favorite song to enhance your comments. I did a service for a man who loved Patsy Cline. Normally, I would have played one of her songs during the service; however, it just so happens that my wife is a Patsy Cline impersonator! So, after explaining to everyone Patsy was his favorite singer, I set the stage for one of her songs. Instead of playing a downloaded song, my wife (complete in Patsy Cline attire) began strolling toward the front of the room singing I Come a Walkin’ After Midnight, with a performance accompaniment track! Everyone there was blown away, and gave a resounding applause at the end of the song!
On another occasion, the deceased loved the movie O Brother Where Art Thou. This, by the way, set the theme for the entire service. My wife, dressed in a long white dress and singing acapella, came down the center aisle to begin the service with the song Down to the River to Pray. At the end of the service, everyone immediately went to her, raving over what she had done!
Of course, rarely do we have the advantage of impersonators. Don’t let that stop you! Always be on the ready to think outside the box when it comes to music.
“What was your loved one’s favorite color?”
Use this to determine what you and others involved in the service wear. You can also use color to set the mood in the room the service is being held.
“Did your loved one like to travel?”
“Did your loved one have any favorite movie, TV show or actor?”
This is another fun source of notable movie or TV quotes that can accentuate a life story or establish a service theme.
“Did your loved one have any favorite pets?”
“Did your loved one have a favorite food or dessert?”
The answer to this question can lead to many different options for you. We have given the immediate family gift certificates to their loved one’s favorite restaurant. I have also used it many times to help decide on memory tokens at the end of the service.
“Can you give me the precious memories and/or moments you have of your loved one?”
Stand by to write quickly when you ask this question!
Poems for the
Funeral Celebrant
Turning Tears of Grief Into Tears of Joy
Mel was a faithful member of a church I used to pastor. As the poem points out, he was a very short man! When it came to his service and dedication to others, however, he was a very BIG man!
A Portrait of Mel
A quiet, gentle man was he,
on that we could all agree.
His love and mercy kept us warm.
Truly, Christ’s masterpiece of harmony.
O church, the Godly wisdom of this man,
our souls it would surely feed.
His servant’s heart of sacrifice,
ensured our every need.
Although his stature was shorter than most,
five foot six in all,
a spiritual giant was he in life.
In that he stood eight feet tall.
The image of Christ should be our aim,
in him that goal was clear,
And now he lives his favorite promise,
“we shall be like Him, when He appears!”
(1 John 3:2)
I wrote the following four poems for the celebrant service honoring a wonderful mother of four adult women who dearly loved her. She taught and showed them many wonderful things in life, by sharing of her vast knowledge and experience, as well as through travel.
This was a service in which all four women wanted to personally share what “Mother” meant to them. So, I wrote and read each poem as a lead-in to what they shared with the audience. A beautiful way a Celebrant can work hand-in-hand with other service participants.
With All Her Heart
I know you struggle and question
as you suddenly begin to change.
It seems your world is falling apart,
but let Mom help, with all her heart!
Why suddenly are you looking at boys?
Why are you drawn to a world of noise?
It all seems strange and gives you a start.
But let Mom explain with all her heart!
What’s this red spot on my face?
You ask the mirror as you look in disgrace?
Quick! Jump in the car and we’ll head for a mart!
Just let Mom fix it with all her heart!
It’s part of your years that we call teen!
Your hair isn’t really gonna turn green!
Just enjoy and relax as I play my part.
Your Mom walks beside you with all her heart!
A Road Trip of Life
A road trip of life for eighty six years,
as she traveled fearless, filled with glee.
Though at times she possibly would shed a tear,
her spirit was always soaring and free.
She traveled oft’ unhampered,
as she managed well her cares.
Any pain was always tempered,
as the wind blew through her hair.
Was she ever being reckless,
as the road would twist and wind?
It wasn’t that she was feckless,
only curiosity driving her mind!
Yet as