The Communication Playbook. Teri Kwal Gamble

       4.9 I can apply techniques for improving language skills. □We need to use common sense to recognize that certain styles of language are appropriate at certain times and in certain places. We also need to make ourselves as clear as possible by selecting words with meaning for our listeners and by taking into account their education level and the sublanguages they understand.

      Become a Word Master

       bypassing 87

       connotative meaning 83

       denotative meaning 83

       disclaimers 97

       dominant culture 94

       euphemism 89

       gender-lects 97

       jargon 85

       language 82

       linguistic determinism 92

       linguistic prejudice 94

       linguistic relativity 92

       online speak 100

       polarization 89

       qualifiers 96

       racial code words 94

       Sapir–Whorf hypothesis 92

       slang 86

       symbol 82

       tag questions 97

       triangle of meaning 82

      5 Nonverbal Messages Speak

      Maria Symchych/Shutterstock.com

      After completing this chapter, you should be able to:

       5.1 Define nonverbal communication and explain its characteristics.

       5.2 Describe the functions of nonverbal communication.

       5.3 Explain the following types of nonverbal messages: body language, voice, space and distance, appearance, color, clothing and artifacts, time, touch, and smell.

       5.4 Describe how nonverbal cues help distinguish truth telling from lying.

       5.5 Identify the influences of gender on nonverbal behavior.

       5.6 Identify the influences of culture on nonverbal behavior.

       5.7 Discuss technology’s influence on nonverbal communication.

       5.8 Apply skills in interpreting nonverbal cues to make valid judgments and decisions.

      He that has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.

      Sigmund Freud

      Learning to interpret and send nonverbal messages effectively benefits us personally as well as professionally. Frequently more powerful than words, nonverbal communication provides reasons for how we respond to one another.

      Do you know anyone who has experienced difficulty in establishing and maintaining good personal or professional relationships but can’t figure out why? The answer may be that the person is lacking in nonverbal communication skills essential for social success.¹ Some of us find it harder to pick up on others’ social cues. The nonverbally skill-less are, for all practical purposes, also communicationally clueless.

      Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication

      Nonverbal communication designates all messages not expressed in words:

       The twinkle in your eye. The edge in her voice. The knowing look of his smile. The rigidness of their postures. The confidence in his walk. Her sophisticated dress. His open shirt. Where you sit. How closely he stands in relation to you. Her eagerness to arrive to work early. The modern design of your room. The cool colors the walls are painted. Her necklace. His lapel flag-pin.

      Each of these cues offers clues regarding the attitudes, feelings, and personality of the displayer.

      What we do with our body, our voice, or the space around us has message value.

      Skill Builder

      Nonverbal Self-Assessment

      In the now classic novel 1984, author George Orwell describes the power that comes with being able to read nonverbal communication and the dangers of leaking nonverbal cues one wished to keep concealed:

      It was terribly dangerous to let your thoughts wander when you were in any public place or within range of a telescreen. The smallest thing could give you away. A nervous tic, an unconscious look of anxiety, a habit of muttering to yourself—anything that carried with it the suggestion of abnormality, of having something to hide. In any case, to wear an improper expression on your face (to look incredulous when a victory was announced, for example), was itself a punishable offense. There was even a word for it in Newspeak: facecrime, it was called.

      1 Are you good at reading faces?

      2 Cite an instance when another person accused you of committing a “facecrime,” that is, of attempting to conceal what you were thinking or feeling. What leaked nonverbal messages on your part do you think could have led him or her to make such an assertion?

      3 Are you able to detect a person’s mood based on his or her voice?

      4 Cite an instance when you were able to identify the emotion someone was feeling based on his or her face, body, and/or vocal cues?

      5 Can you tell how interested people are in you by where they stand in relation to you?

      6 Cite an instance when you concluded that someone liked or disliked you based on your observations of their nonverbal behavior?

      7 If a consultant were to work with you to improve your use of nonverbal messaging, what changes do you imagine that he or she would suggest you make?

      We All Do It

      We all communicate nonverbally. We cannot avoid doing it. In a normal two-person conversation, the verbal channel carries less than 35% of a message’s social meaning. More than 65% of that meaning is communicated nonverbally (Figure 5.1).² By analyzing nonverbal cues, we improve our understanding of what really is being communicated. The nonverbal dimension also helps us define the nature of our relationships. With practice, we can use nonverbal cues to acquire information that we, otherwise, would not know.

      Figure 5.1 Communication of Social Meaning