Staying One. Clinton W. McLemore

therapist can, however, provide something else, and it’s largely what a wise spouse can provide: understanding.

20. The Great Wall of China was an ingenious military invention, in part because it prevented mounted horsemen of the north from invading the south. Its walls in many places are thirty feet high, and it is difficult to get a horse to climb a thirty-foot ladder! But the Great Wall also hindered movement from the south to the north.

21. Bronowski, The Identity of Man.

22. Berne, Games People Play.

23. “A Million Ways to Die in the West” was a 2014 film directed by Seth MacFarlane, who also stars in it.

24. McLemore, Inspiring Trust.

25. Recall how the character of Don Draper in Mad Men concealed from his wife that he’d been fired.

      A Woman’s Perspective: Anna’s Response to Chapter 3

      Ask a few people what they think communication is, and chances are it will soon become apparent that their focus is more on being heard than on listening—Did you understand what I said? rather than Am I understanding you?

      In a marriage, it’s important that both husband and wife take the time to understand what the other person is thinking and feeling, to try to have empathy. The kind of active listening referred to in this chapter is central to the work of staying one.

      Wives: Many men hesitate to express their feelings, so when they do, don’t miss the opportunity to listen and make sure they know you’ve heard them.