the
secret
life
A Book of Wisdom from the Great Teacher
the
secret
life
Jeffrey Katz
with Alys Yablon Wylen
Humanix Books
The Secret Life
© 2019 by Humanix Books
All rights reserved
Humanix Books, P.O. Box 20989, West Palm Beach, FL 33416, USA
www.humanixbooks.com | [email protected]
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ISBN: 978-1-63006-107-4 (Trade Paper)
ISBN: 978-1-63006-108-1 (E-book)
Printed in the United States of America
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
To my mother, who gave me the key,
and to my father, who showed me what to open
CONTENTS
Maimonides and the Secret Life
The Secret of Charity
The Secret of Justice
The Secret of Unconditional Love
The Secret of a Higher Calling
The Secret of Resilience
INTRODUCTION
MAIMONIDES AND THE SECRET LIFE
At times the truth shines so brilliantly that we perceive it as clear as day. Our nature and habit then draw a veil over our perception, and we return to a darkness almost as dense as before. We are like those who, though beholding frequent flashes of lightning, still find themselves in the thickest darkness of the night.
Maimonides
Two men await their train on the subway platform in New York City. They are dressed in business suits. Each holds a newspaper folded under one arm, and both are staring at their cell phones. To the casual observer, one might think that these two men lead similar lives. Jobs on Wall Street, perhaps. Apartments on the Upper East Side, complete with wives and children and gym memberships. Let’s assume for a moment that they do in fact share those basic circumstances, with the same jobs and the same salaries.
The first man—let’s call him Joe—is heading home a little earlier than usual at the end of a long week at work. Just like every other day this week, Joe is spending his commuting time checking his stock profile on his smartphone. Obsessed with the fluctuations in the market, Joe is constantly refreshing his feed, counting his pennies, and planning his next move. Joe has always had a comfortable life, and he plans to maintain his wealth forever. In fact, it is his main goal in life to earn ever more money so that he can buy a bigger apartment for his family, own the newest gadgets, and take the most lavish vacations.
Joe’s wife has sent him three text messages so far this afternoon: one a picture of their son hanging upside down on the monkey bars, one a voice recording from their daughter about her science fair project, and one a reminder that they are going to a fund-raising gala tonight, and the babysitter is arriving in 10 minutes. He hasn’t read, or even noticed, any of the messages yet.
Meanwhile, the other man, Ted, is exchanging text messages with his wife, Nancy. He is on his way to the soup kitchen, where he volunteers to serve dinner to the homeless once a week, and he tells Nancy that he will pick up ice cream on his way home for movie night with the kids. He wants to know what flavor they like best this week, and which movie is at the top of their wish list. Ever since he spent a harrowing week living in his car years ago, Ted has vowed to give as much time and money as possible to the place where he was able to get a warm meal on those seven long, cold nights. Now a successful banker with a fine home and a loving family, Ted has stayed true to his word and not only writes generous checks to the soup kitchen but also rolls up his sleeves week after week to work there.
Ted appreciates his good fortune and knows that poverty is never as far away as you might think. Because he has experienced significant hardship, he does not take his lifestyle for granted, and he makes sure to save money for his children and wife in case of emergency. He also knows that giving money to those in need, even in small amounts, not only helps the recipients of that money, but also does good for his soul. Giving of his time and energy is just as rewarding, and he plans to instill these values in his own children as they mature.
The two men, though outwardly similar, have vastly different approaches to life. On the subjects of wealth, family, and dedication to a higher purpose, they could not be further apart. Joe works hard to ensure that he is as wealthy as possible, even if it means long stretches away from his wife and kids. He gives money to charity, attending glamorous events that cost thousands of dollars to plan and are as much about socializing and glitz as they are about raising money for worthy causes. When he votes, he makes sure to endorse the candidates who promise tax cuts for the wealthy, without much thought to other issues. Joe has never had to struggle, and he has not made an effort to empathize with those who do.
Ted recalls his own experience of near-homelessness and financial hardship and prioritizes meaningful volunteer work and pointed charity as a result, while making sure to appreciate his wife and children and to schedule special family time together. He lobbies local government officials to fight for employment opportunities, fair wages, and affordable housing for his city. He tries to live his life with a sense of gratitude and feels a strong desire to contribute to his community.
Which man has a greater sense of accomplishment and self-worth at the end of the day? If you had a choice between the two lifestyles, which would you choose? When we think about how to make our lives more meaningful, and how to make a difference in the world around us, we are quickly overwhelmed by all the options before us and all the competing priorities we hold.
It might seem easy to point to Ted as the more admirable of the two men, and to say that given the choice, we would be generous with our wealth and humble in our actions. But for the vast majority of us, if we are being honest, our natural instincts are actually closer to Joe’s. In our quest for survival, we are drawn to “more” rather than “less.” With even the best of intentions, it is difficult to part with our hard-earned money, and perhaps even harder to spare what little