Part III explores what it means to Embrace Yourself—literally and figuratively—with sample exercises to guide you. It doesn’t matter what you have or haven’t done in the past. That is over. Loving yourself in this moment and taking care of you is at the core of Hug Therapy. Start to embrace that concept in this moment, accepting this and letting it wash over you. Too many of us hold onto anger, frustration, and resentment, allowing it to drag us down like a bag full of bricks. Let’s work together to identify these heavy burdens, and then let go of them, so you can feel lighter and refreshed, with newfound energy and purpose. It helps to explore how you can surprise and delight yourself each day, and have increased awareness that you are the hero on this journey.
Part IV is about Embracing Life, with more exercises to help you appreciate and make the most of every moment. Together, we will come up with new ways to stimulate your creativity and set new goals. You will be encouraged to do all those things you’ve been thinking about doing, but haven’t yet taken on. It’s action time! The way to make things happen is by putting a concrete structure in place.
Part V is about Embracing Others, with additional exercises to help you connect with the people in your life: family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, and even people you don’t yet know. It’s also about the critical importance of understanding the mutuality of a hug, and of being clear whether the huggee really wants a hug, with an important focus on “consensual hugging or not at all.” You can’t fully embrace yourself and life without embracing others(This doesn’t necessarily mean physical hugging, it can also mean fully embracing them metaphorically, such as truly listening to them, hearing their story, and really seeing them). A huge part of hugging is about developing empathy, compassion, respect, and focusing on doing your best to truly understand this other person, so that you can be as supportive as they need in that moment.
Part VI is about bringing together all the different, rich forms of hugging that have been explored throughout Hug Therapy. It emphasizes deeply engaging in life through a 21-Day Hugging Journey that lights you up and inspires you. Whether you are already in action or about to begin, this section reminds us that the only day to really hug ourselves or anyone else is today. Hug yourself and those around you, and spread love and acceptance in the world.
Hug Therapy is for people of all walks of life and beliefs. That said, you might be interested to discover that the teachings you read here are inspired, in part, by the Kabbalah—the ancient Jewish wisdom that helps reveal how the universe and life work, which seeks to develop the following:
•A deep understanding of nature, the world, and who we are.
•Practical tools for developing a new perspective on the world around us.
•An awareness of the source of problems in our personal lives and in society.
Those are also the ambitious goals of Hug Therapy. As you read and work your way through each chapter, the goal is to come away with a powerful exploration of these areas. Each brief essay has three parts:
The author’s thoughts and insights on the chapter’s subject.
Why this matters (i.e. how you will benefit from incorporating this concept in your life).
Action steps and activities to apply what you’ve learned to your unique situation.
Allow Hug Therapy to guide you into a new hugging paradigm as your understanding of its principles and insights grow. I hope you will come to think of it as a discovery source and launching pad. This is not a book to rush through and put back on the shelf. If you got a digital copy, it’s perfect because you can have it with you whenever you want. This is a book to read in your quiet moments, to revisit often, and know it’s there for you.
As you are reading Hug Therapy and engaging in the exercises, know that you are brave, wise, and unstoppable. This is not a pep talk. Whether you doubt any of it, even a little, or know it wholeheartedly, embark on this journey of discovery. It will open you up more and more to who you are and what you want. It will all happen through something so simple and straightforward that you may take it for granted: the hug.
The hug may be a large part of your day or a little piece of your week. It may be something you can’t recall doing for a while or an activity you disdain—something only for those who are emotional or soft. You will be challenged, supported, and ultimately unleashed. It will all happen through your relationship with, and your understanding of the power of the hug.
Congratulations on embarking on a journey that, through your investment and labors, will reward you with powerful breakthroughs—both large and small—throughout your life.
Is it bold or naïve to suggest that Hug Therapy is potent enough to radically transform your life—and the planet? Perhaps. But I have a few things going for me. First, everyone understands the power of a hug. Second, most are capable of hugging. And, third, hugging is scientifically proven to have many positive effects. Of course, I’ll tell you more about that in the coming chapters.
So, let’s get started…and “hug it out!”
Stone
Hugging 101—Definitions Overview
Radical Transparency—Your word is extremely powerful when you act in accordance with your heart and stay true to yourself. Being aware of what you really think and feel in this moment, and expressing yourself will set you free.
Full Responsibility—You are masterful and fully accountable for your life. You can create anything you are fully committed to, and connect with others in doing so. This awareness is powerful. Seeing the world this way gives you access to action and how to create it through connection. This way of viewing the world offers you unique access to building and embracing a life that inspires you.
Regardless of your situation, you can change your life. Awareness of your present situation is your launching pad for moments, days, and years of unlimited possibility. It all begins with action today. This is about achieving the end result on the one hand, and—perhaps more importantly, and at least equally importantly—understanding who you know yourself to be in this moment, based on the action you take today. What if today was the last day you had to live? How would you want to know and love yourself? Not in any way bound to the balance in your bank account, retirement plan, or having the most toys, but in a more essential manner. How would you want to be with your loved ones and all the people around you? How would you embrace this moment and be fully engaged in life and the magic of you?
When you embrace each of these components, anything is possible. You will know with your entire being that you are a miracle, and that you can dance and play through life.
If you follow the recommendations here, you will begin to embrace yourself and the world, feel fully alive and present, and increase your potential to create deep connections wherever you go.
Brief History of Hugging
The official origin of where or when the act of hugging began is uncertain. It seems to be one of those instinctive behaviors humans share with primates to express emotional connection, love, consolation, and comfort. Wanting to be held in a tight embrace by another appears to be human instinct or primate instinct, and arguably, mammalian instinct. Human biology requires nurturing by our primary caretakers in order to thrive, because we can’t care for ourselves as babies and children. A hug may often be used when words fail or seem insufficient.
When we stop to think about it, hugging likely goes back as far as human existence. Even when there was only one person in existence, that individual likely had an evolutionary focus on taking care of themself (a self-hug). Once there were two or more individuals, they likely bonded together to support each other, and for the propagation of the species.
Historically, offering a hug or a handshake demonstrated that neither individual had a weapon, and was a sign of good faith. It is also a gesture that can be seen in the art of many cultures throughout history and across the world.
The specific origins of the