I’ve had the chance to travel to many of the world’s biggest hotspots, and I didn’t hold back the hugs. I remember when I visited Iraq for the first time in 1998. The country was isolated from the rest of the world, and welcoming an American Peace Troubadour seemed an unlikely solution. What did I do? I hugged as many people as I could, and though custom required I limit my hugs to men, even that rule was broken several times when it felt appropriate. The people I embraced lit up and accepted my affection, though I’m sure it was a great surprise for most of them. By the time I left Iraq, a true bond had been created with many of the people I met, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that bond rippled through the streets of Baghdad.
The power of a hug was shown to me again not long after apartheid ended in South Africa. I was invited to meet with the leaders of several gangs running the streets of Cape Town. From the beginning, I wondered what I would say to them—what impact I could have on such violent men I could never truly relate to. When the men arrived, I spoke for a few minutes, then took out my guitar and began singing the Prayer of St. Francis—“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.” When the meeting was finished, a tall, dangerous looking man approached me and asked if we could speak privately. I said yes, and he led me away from the group to a spot where we could speak alone. I felt my heart begin to race, wondering why he needed such privacy. When he finally stopped and turned around, I noticed tears running down his cheeks. “I’ve killed as many as five men in one day,” he said, “and even though I don’t know how to live the way you described, I want it.” We looked at each other and something seemed to lock into place. As if on cue our arms opened, and we fell together into one of the most beautiful hugs I’ve ever experienced. I don’t know how long we stood there, but I felt something change in him. Maybe the hug we shared created the opening he needed to make a new choice. I don’t know, but I believe it’s possible.
And I believe the possibilities of transforming ourselves and each other within the energy of a hug is real.
So why hold back? That’s the real message of this book. Dr. Stone has done the world a great service by sharing his keen, clinical, pioneering perspective, and I truly believe that if you give a hug the time it deserves—then put it into practice—you will agree. It may be one of the simplest and most effective ways we have of breaking down boundaries and creating peace—and I mean that quite literally. My suggestion is to test it out for yourself. One of the biggest discoveries you’ll make is that you will get as much out of the practice as the person you’re offering the hug to. Isn’t that the way it should be?
I could go on and on, but I really want you to get to Dr. Stone’s masterpiece. He’s the expert, not me. All I can say is that you wouldn’t have been guided to this book unless you were ready for it, unless you realized that your hugs are powerful beyond belief. So keep turning the pages until you feel a light turn on inside you, then go give a few hugs and see what happens.
James Twyman
New York Times bestselling author of The Moses Code
April 19, 2019
My intention in writing Hug Therapy is to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being.
You are fully responsible for your own actions, which will be discussed in more detail throughout the book. By taking control of and full responsibility for your life, anything is possible. I cannot guarantee that everyone will receive your hugs in a positive way, and it is important that hugs are fully consensual. This is so important that an entire chapter is dedicated to its discussion. Enter and follow at your own risk, and know that seeing life through the lens of a hug can be pure magic.
If I were there with you right now, I’d give you a great big hug. Nothing weird. Just a full-on, unconditional love hug. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m “the Hug Doctor” and the founder of “Hug Therapy.” This book was written to be my hug to you. It’s also a personal invitation from me to you…to embrace yourself, your life, and everyone around you in a whole new way.
Can you remember the last time someone gave you an all-encompassing hug like the one I just described? A boundless embrace with endless vibrations of gratitude and support that’s so overpowering it squeezes every ounce of fear, worry, and negativity out of your spirit—leaving you with nothing but warmth, inner peace, and a feeling of connection?
Hug Therapy will make you feel like that, but it isn’t just a “feel good” book. It’s also a “do good” book that will help you live more in the moment and stay more tuned in with the things that matter to you most. You already know that the key to happiness isn’t cramming more activities into your already busy life. It’s about having the insight and vision to know what really matters to you, and being brave enough to take action in those areas.
This journey is a marathon, not a sprint, so it might not be easy or happen overnight, but it is simple, and anyone can do it.
Now you might be saying, “I’m not a hugger, and I’m not into all this touchy-feely shit.” I hear you loud and clear, and appreciate you saying what you really think and feel (more about the value of expressing yourself directly later in the book). I strongly encourage you to keep reading. Not only because I’m selling this book for money, but seriously, because hugs come in many shapes and sizes, and hugging speaks to much more than a physical hug. Living in “the space of a hug” means being more accepting of yourself and everyone else; allowing you to be more appreciative of all life has to offer. You can do this without any physical hugging. And consider, that maybe, just maybe, you will feel very differently about physical hugging as the book unfolds.
Although giving and receiving physical hugs is part of the 21-Day “Hugging Journey™,” Hug Therapy is so much more.
My 21-day hugging journeys have pushed me out of my comfort zone, deepened my connections, and super charged my passion for life. I couldn’t be more excited for you to join me and experience the journey for yourself. I believe that as more and more people are inspired to go on hugging journeys, the energy and momentum of Hug Therapy will increase exponentially.
Hug Therapy can have a remarkable impact on any domain of our lives. Too often in life, we are on a path that has been worn so deeply that we feel sick, bored, or trapped. Even when we are excited about what we have achieved in one domain, we often struggle, wondering what else is out there. Sometimes in certain areas of life, we are firing on all cylinders, while in others, we feel lost. Some people have achieved financial success, and yet, feel trapped in an unhealthy relationship. Others may be in a beautiful relationship and no longer find meaning in other parts of life. The Hugging Journey allows you to look hard and assess what is working, what is not working, and then choose to take bold “hugging steps,” allowing you to live more fully.
What you are reading was conceived in an “ah-ha” moment. Books are often the result of much thinking and planning, sometimes for years, before the author sits down to write. This book had its beginnings in quite a different way. I had no intentions of writing a book, and certainly not one on this subject. This is how it happened.
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My friend and I were on a tour of the breathtaking home, Fallingwater, a house designed by architect Frank Lloyd Wright