For most of my life, I’ve worked as an actress. You may have seen me in TV shows like NCIS, Bones, Lie To Me and dozens of commercials. For many years, I’ve also worked as a communication and public speaking trainer, which means I coach people who are getting ready for important moments like job interviews, presentations, media appearances, or even first dates! I love helping people feel more confident and shine brightly as they move through the world.
But then, a few years ago, I launched myself into a completely new line of work: creating a jewelry company called Wishbeads.
I had zero experience crafting or making jewelry (seriously, none). And I had zero experience in product manufacturing, shipping, distribution, and all the logistical left-brain stuff that’s required to run this type of business. But I felt strongly compelled to make Wishbeads happen, so I started researching, taking baby steps, and figuring out how to do it. It was an exciting and challenging process filled with so many “Ack, but I don’t know what to dooooo!” moments. But I kept going. And I’m still going. Wishbeads is growing with each passing year. (I’ll share a little more about my “building a business” story in a few pages.)
Why am I telling you all of this? Firstly, because I’ll be your guide throughout this book so I figure I ought to introduce myself. Secondly, because I want you to know that I understand how it feels to have a big, daunting wish. A wish that feels exciting and, frankly, overwhelming. I know how it feels to stare at your computer and wonder, How the heck am I going to pull this off? and Can I really achieve this, or am I delusional? and Will this crazy idea even work? I know those feelings because I’ve felt—and still feel—those doubts all the time.
It’s normal to feel doubts as you move through your life—everyone does, hey, we’re only human!—however, you don’t have to let those doubts stop you from pursuing your dreams.
I sincerely hope you won’t let that happen.
I hope this book gives you that little extra nudge of support, positivity, optimism, and encouragement that you need to make your greatest wishes come true.
Please don’t give up.
I believe in me…and I believe in you.
Wishes really can, and do, come true.
What Is a Wish?
The dictionary defines the word “wish” as “a desire or hope for something to happen.” Similar words include: “longing, yearning, inclination, urge, craving, hunger.”
Sometimes, in our society, wishing gets a bad reputation. It’s considered frivolous or foolish. When you accuse someone of “wishful thinking,” it’s not much of a compliment! You’re basically saying, “Get real. You’re being delusional.”
But I don’t think wishing is delusional. I believe that wishing is very powerful. When you make a wish, you’re connecting with what you really want. You’re saying, “This matters to me.” You’re saying, “I’m ready to focus, put in some work, and transform my life so that I can have what I want.”
Wishing is not merely the stuff of child’s play—like tossing pennies into fountains or puffing out birthday candles after a celebratory song. Wishing is all about moving closer to the life you truly desire—your best possible life. That’s not foolish. That’s fantastic!
A New Way to Wish
Perhaps you’ve made a lot of wishes in the past, but they haven’t always come true. Perhaps, after experiencing a string of disappointments, you’ve decided, “Wishing is pointless. It never works.”
Rather than deciding, “Oh, wishing is dumb and it never leads anywhere,” let’s try a new perspective. It’s time to start wishing in a new way. It’s time for a different (and more effective) approach!
Successful wishing starts with how you feel—your mood, your emotions, your attitude about the world. Some people refer to these feelings as your “vibration” or your “energy.” Let me break it down for you…
Your energy determines how your day is going to unfold.
If you’re feeling anxious, the world seems like one giant hazard zone.
If you’re feeling grateful, you see abundance at every turn.
If you’re feeling angry, every human being appears to be against you.
If you’re feeling loving, others tend to love you right back.
Whatever you’re focusing on, that’s what you’re bringing into your awareness and into your experience. Your energy is creating your life. And your energy is shaping the world.
“Give me a break, Alexa. Am I creating global warming? The swings of the stock market? Social inequality? Am I creating all that?!” you might wonder.
Maybe not completely. But on some level, yes, you are. Every human being is, in some way or another, creating and shaping the world that we live in.
No, I don’t think you’re responsible for the ice caps melting per se, but you are responsible for how you feel and what you choose to do with your feelings. Your feelings are going to determine your actions, and your actions are going to determine a great deal of what happens in your individual life and in the rest of the world, too.
For example, let’s say you’re feeling exasperated and deflated about the massive island of plastic floating in the middle of ocean poisoning all the fish, but then you habitually use a plastic straw at every restaurant—never considering where it ends up—simply because you feel overwhelmed and powerless. You feel like the problem is so darn huge, so what could you possible do about it? Sigh…sip, sip, sip.
On the other hand, perhaps you look around and see the pain and suffering of the growing number of people who have found themselves homeless. However, you might choose to feel overwhelmed and powerless and do nothing to help. Or you could make a different choice. You could choose to feel empathetic, curious, and excited to find solutions. You could choose to ask yourself, What can I do about this? That’s exactly what two amazing women—Steph Johnson and Nina Leilani Deering—chose to do. These women co-founded Voices of Our City, a weekly choir that meets in a church in downtown San Diego. The chorus is comprised of some fine folks who are sleeping on the streets and gather to sing their hearts out every Friday at noon. This choir has given dozens of homeless men and women a safe space to connect, make art, express themselves, and be perceived by the community in a new light. So beautiful! A creative solution that has led to advocacy, awareness, hope, and transformation.
Two dire situations. Two different responses. Two different outcomes.
To connect all of this back to wishing…
Often, the only difference between a wish that comes true and a wish that doesn’t is how you choose to feel about the situation.
Will you choose to feel overwhelmed and powerless? Or will you choose to feel curious, optimistic, and hopeful? Your feelings determine your actions, and your actions determine your results.
How Wishing Works
When you know what you want, it’s a heck of a lot easier to go and get it, right?
Let’s say you’re hungry. You’ve got that gnawing sensation in your stomach and, though you have no intention of cooking, all you can think about is enjoying a delicious meal.
You then head out to a local restaurant, grab a seat and wait for the waiter to arrive.
When he does, he smiles at you, pen and paper at the ready, and asks, “What can I get for you today?”
“Food,” you manage to blurt out because you’re too hungry to think straight.
So the waiter says, “What are you in the mood for?”
Your