own destiny.

      As we talked, she told me things she couldn’t possibly have known. Then she told me my future lay in writing and speaking. I guffawed. Writing—YES. Back then I was a journalist, and writing was a big part of my life. But speaking—I told her NO WAY. Ahem, I am now a professional speaker, and leading workshops, talks, and retreats is a huge part of my life. But back then, it seemed unbelievable. And it just goes to show that we often don’t know what future we’re stepping into.

      Her main point, however, was that I needed to

      stop forcing and pushing at life.

      She went on to explain that life is made up of time periods (for me, it was ages 0–9, 9–29, 30–34, 35–54, and I forget the rest). In these periods, only certain things can be achieved, she explained. It doesn’t matter how much you want something or how hard you try. You can only achieve the success, the lessons, the blessings, and the fortune that these time periods are able to bestow on you. It was the first time I had heard about the concept of divine timing. That key things in life unfold when they are ready to unfold—not when we want them to.

      When you view your own life through this lens, there is no one set-in-stone schedule for when you should complete society’s milestones. Instead, if you learn the lessons and work through the thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors of that period—then you can move into the next cycle without your old baggage. And in that new cycle, new things are possible. The aim is to use creativity to navigate the space between the time periods, when an old way is dying and a new one hasn’t yet begun—and to remember that we’re all on different schedules.

      Harnessing Your Inner Power

      In the early days of my career, money was short, and my freelance writing lifestyle meant that I didn’t always know when my next paycheck was coming. So I read the classic Napoleon Hill self-help book, Think and Grow Rich. I didn’t grow rich (in money), but I did learn a thing or two about inner power. Hill introduced the idea of sex transmutation—something I still find fascinating. Sex transmutation is when you turn the energy of sexual desire into creative fuel and use that to drive ahead and forge a new path. It’s when you turn on your emotions and feel positively charged. For our purposes, it’s about falling in love with writing and creativity.

      In her book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, Elizabeth Gilbert asks her readers to imagine that their creativity is like a hot relationship they’re in. If it was, they would steal time for it, stay up all night to be with it, and think about it all day. Fusing your life with that kind of desire and intensity is extremely powerful.

      To achieve this kind of desire, you need to get firmly into your physical body first (layer two of the communication pyramid from Chapter 1). Whether consciously or not, we’re taught from a young age to be out of tune with ourselves. We sit at desks for most of our school days and are told to think and solve intellectual puzzles. If we later work in an office-based job, we’re told to do the same, with a few workouts thrown in before or after work, or perhaps at lunchtime. Moving and being firmly IN our bodies is often discouraged. And yet, this is where much of our power is.