This isn’t something that bothers me a stitch now, but at the time the playground politics really got to me. Now I look around at pickup and see the glam mums chatting, the working mums rushing, the mums who have come however they were dressed at home (HOLLA!), and of course the dads…who don’t seem to be nearly as concerned by any of this as we do.
Just because I turn up to school in my pyjamas (joke! I haven’t yet, but the minute Milo is old enough for me not to get out of the car, I will consider it a legitimate option) doesn’t mean I don’t care about what I wear. Just because I go barefaced to the supermarket doesn’t mean I don’t love (and I mean truly love) me a new lipstick—it just means that I didn’t prioritise those things on that day. What I learned from my outfit experiment was that I could probably use a ‘uniform’ to fall back on for those lazy days, but more than that, I learned that comfort is my motivator. Oh, and I’m never going to iron anything, so I will stop buying things that need ironing.
Who Am I Again?
My blurb is starting to fill out a little now, isn’t it? Let’s condense it into some bullet points—join me with your own, won’t you?
•Young mum
•Still struggles with age appropriate style
•Enjoys comfort dressing
•Pretends she’s not still intimidated by the other mums at school
•Refuses to iron
•Warm/deep colour palette
•‘Apple’ shape
•Still wishes she was Jessica Simpson a bit a lot
I’m looking for a style that flatters me but doesn’t push me too far out of my leggings and sweatshirt uniform while I’m at home and makes me feel put together but not too formal at work. I also may need to work more on my outlook than my outfits when it comes to the school run…unless I’m prepared to do full hair and makeup to come home and sit in front of a laptop. That doesn’t sound like something I’d do, but we’ll see!
The Purge
You’re already tired, aren’t you? Reading this chapter is going to be a bit like watching an exercise video on your sofa, drinking a glass of wine. We both know what you need to do. I’m going to offer some tips that will make the process easier and more effective, but it’s up to you to actually do the work.
If it makes you feel any better, I’m not doing this today either. I’m writing this from a pub in Manchester station waiting for my friends to arrive on a train that’s been delayed because cows have wandered onto the tracks. How ‘English’ does that sound?
1.Take everything out of your wardrobe.
I know!! You don’t want to do it, nobody does, but think of all of the times you’ve stood in front of it, prepared to burn it to the ground because it has offered you nothing. If you really have nothing to wear, this should be a quick exercise.
2.Create three piles.
One will be for throwing away, one for donating, and one for trying on. Note that there is no automatic ‘keep’ pile…you think pulling all of those clothes out on to the bed was hard work? Prepare yourself.
3.Try everything on!
You know when you’re in a store and you can’t be bothered to queue for the changing rooms? (I’m looking at you, Primark!) And you say, ‘Oh, I’ll try it on at home’. You probably won’t try it on until you want to wear it, will you? Then you probably won’t take it back, but that’s a different point entirely. Trying on clothes is such a pain, but you really can’t get around this one.
If you don’t love it when you try it on, why do you still have it? Don’t even get me started on keeping things in case you lose weight. If you do lose that weight you’ve been saying you will for ten years, surely the first thing you’ll want to do is go shopping?! And if you don’t (let’s face it, few of us do), you don’t need a reminder of that every time you look in your wardrobe. Wouldn’t it be awesome if every time you went to get dressed you knew everything in there fit you, looked great, and had many potential partner pieces that went with it? If the answer is yes, read on. If the answer is no, you may have picked up the wrong book.
Mixing
In theory, you should now be left with a much smaller pile of clothes that you’re keeping because you love them and they make you feel good. Next job is working out the outfits you have among these items. Depending on your life style, you may only need one pair of jeans, or you may need four; if you’re me, you need twelve. I can’t answer these questions for you, but think about the outfits that you need and partnering up what you have left.
I’m going to talk about a capsule wardrobe later in the book, but this is a great time to start considering how your clothes mix with each other.
Contributors
I asked my contributors whether they think they’ve found their style yet…
‘Not really no, I haven’t quite found what works for my new body after having children so opt for baggy and unflattering clothes!’
—Liza
‘Not really—I think I have a style base (black, white, cream, taupe) that I try and work other things round, but I go off things very quickly, so I have yet to nail the “enduring” style thing.’
—Jane
‘My style is quite “safe,” but I know what works best with my body shape and my colouring. I feel better about my style and far more confident in my thirties than I ever did in my teens and twenties.’
—Emma-Jayne
‘I think for a long time I was trying to do “my style” by following others’ expectations of what style was. I still have times I try to follow trends…it doesn’t always go well. (I have bought the odd thing which has gone to the charity shop with tags still on! UGH.) But on the whole, I think I’m much less inclined to slot into an expected “style.” I like that I now wear my style without care of what others think. I like now that I look for my confidence in like-minded women rather than worry what they’re thinking of me. I think having confidence in myself is my style.’
—Alanna
‘Sort of, I am very much a jeans and striped top girl. But then I’d love to be a little less plain with it. I love the idea of being effortlessly stylish, but sometimes I find my style can just be effortless…without the stylish! So, I do like to “cheat” my way to style with things like bold lipstick!’
—Jen
‘I do, but that doesn’t mean to say I don’t occasionally veer off course and try something which I know just isn’t me! It’s taken me years to see what I love and what suits me, but I still like to take risks. I’m definitely a jeans, jacket, and boots girl. I have boobs so feel too fiddly in a shirt or pretty blouse. I like simple clothes, which is why I love a good AllSaints draped T-shirt or similar. I’m better with a simple color palette, too—black, grey, and white. In the past, I’ve tried too hard to wear “on trend” clothes which just don’t work for my body shape. These days I try to check myself before each purchase and ask myself if it complements my style before buying. I also remind myself that I enjoy quality more than quantity, which helps me avoid impulse purchases.’
—Joanna
Cover Your Basics
Foundation
If you opened