Throughout my career, there have been beautiful “I can’t believe this is really my job, somebody pinch me” moments. And also…moments that were not so exuberant. Difficult moments. Embarrassing moments. Bewildering moments—like having my identity stolen and seeing a fake website that someone created, pretending to be me, passing my work—and my personal stories—off as their own. There’s been rejection, criticism, and just about every flavor of discouragement that you can imagine.
After my first book came out, here’s one of the reviews that got posted on Amazon:
“Awful. I thought these would be cute, preprinted notes that I could send to friends. But each one uses the word ‘Awesome’ in some over-the-top, silly way. I am a grown woman who enjoys sending encouraging notes to my friends, but these are very juvenile (think pre-teen). I wish I could return them. Unless you are 8–12, don’t buy these.”
Ouch.
After my next book came out—this time, a self-published novel that was very, very loosely based on my real life—here’s what one reader had to say:
“Did not finish due to the main character being so unlikeable [. . .] The writing is mediocre with nothing but excessive commas, especially where they’re redundant and never should have been considered [. . .] I guess I shouldn’t have expected much from the writing.”
Yikes.
And then there’s another book project I worked on—a journal with daily questions for couples to answer together. I loved this project and I was so proud of how it turned out. It ended up being a number one bestseller, multiple years running. But, uh, not everyone loved it. Here’s one review:
“Questions are boring. I expected this to have some depth to it.”
Ouch again.
When I see negative reviews about my work, it stings. I wish I could say, “It doesn’t bother me at all—not even for one single second—because my confidence is unshakable and I am sooo brave!” but that just isn’t true. The truth is that…it hurts.
If you’re a chef and someone spits out your food, that’s not fun to witness.
If you’re a writer and someone posts a one-star review about your latest art project, that’s not much fun either.
And also, let’s be honest…it’s not fun when you’re job-hunting and you apply for ten different positions and don’t get a single response.
It’s not fun when you submit a completed project to a client, and they hate every single part of it, and you have to do the entire thing all over again from scratch.
It’s not fun when you watch your colleague get chosen for a promotion that you wanted (even though you’re more qualified and everyone knows it, so seriously, WTF?).
It’s not fun when your book proposal gets rejected by the thirty-seventh literary agent or publisher in a row.
It’s not fun when your parents disapprove of your career ambitions and think you’re a delusional idiot.
And it’s definitely not fun when online trolls take pleasure in ripping apart your work, purely for their own amusement.
Nobody wants this kind of stuff to happen. Most of us have nightmares about these kinds of scenarios. We try to shield ourselves from pain and disappointment. We cringe even just thinking about it. We try our darnedest to avoid these bleak situations.
But this kind of stuff…happens. It happens a lot. Our lives do not always flow along like silken tofu. Sometimes, challenges arise. Sometimes, things just…seriously suck.
And then what?
How can we survive moments like that?
How can we handle discouragement with grace and strength?
How can we roll with the inevitable ups and downs of our careers without giving up? Without curling into a ball and hiding forever?
How can we stay optimistic, motivated, and inspired to keep marching forward, even after experiencing a considerable professional setback? Seriously, how?
These are questions I’ve wondered about a lot, especially over the last seven or eight years of my life and career.
To find answers to those questions, I decided to talk to a lot of smart, funny, wise people and get their advice. Then I compiled their stories—along with a few of my own—into a Word document, which eventually became an e-book, and then later a book-book. The one you’re holding in your hands.
* * *
WHEN YOU START LOSING HOPE,TRUE STORIES CAN HELP.
When I’m feeling discouraged, what helps me—more than anything else—is hearing true stories about people who have experienced a similar type of discouragement.
I like reading about what happened, how they felt, how they survived the bleakest moments, and how they got stronger.
When I read or hear those kinds of stories, I always feel better. It’s like soul medicine. Like a deep, intense, eight-second-long, rocking-back-’n-forth hug. Like a pep talk from a wise mentor who really cares, even if it’s someone I’ve never met in “real life” before.
This book is filled with those kinds of stories. I call them Survival Stories. You’ll find Survival Stories from my own career, and from lots of other peoples’ careers, too.
I hope these stories help you feel a little calmer. A little more hopeful. A little less alone.
I don’t know what type of person you are, or where you live, or what kind of profession you’ve chosen—puppeteer, astronaut, social justice warrior, or social media strategist—or what you’re trying to create, build, or achieve. But I do know this:
You are much stronger than you think. Your goals are worth pursuing. You are not alone. Everyone struggles, sometimes. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone feels the sting of rejection. Everyone gets scared. We can be scared, together, and…
We’re going to survive.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Survival Stories
This book contains true stories about terrible
bosses, unimpressed clients, vicious blog comments,
disappointing product sales, manuscript rejections,
embarrassing workplace mistakes, misery,
discouragement, defeat, and how to get through it.
You’ll find a few stories from my own life and career—
plus lots of stories contributed by friends and colleagues.
All of these stories are true. This stuff really happened.
All of these people survived. Each of these people offered
to share their story for one reason: because they want to
help you feel better.
(Isn’t it cool that there are people out there who care
about you, even though they’ve never met you? I think
that’s amazing.)