—Jo Miller, Founding Editor of Be Leaderly
“If you ever think to yourself, ‘Why am I even bothering to keep trying to do what I care about?’ then this book is for you. And me. And all of us. We need reminders from people who have been there that ebb and flow is the nature of life and work, not a sign that there is something uniquely wrong with us when things don’t go as planned. This book is that reminder.”
—Anna Guest-Jelley, founder of Curvy Yoga, as seen in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and xoJane
“A writer, a teacher, a guide, a muse: whatever Alexandra Franzen does, she does it with a mission of kindness, love, and acceptance. I don’t think anyone could better navigate the lowest lows with such wisdom, humor and strength. There’s nobody else I’d want as my survival skills guide.”
—Michelle Ward, Career Coach, as seen in New York Magazine, The Huffington Post, and Newsweek
By Sarah Von Bargen.
Founder of Yes & Yes.
It’s fall of 2010 and, between sips of lukewarm coffee, I discover that I’ve inadvertently achieved the Holy Grail Of Blogging: something I’ve written has gone viral.
And what’s more, something I’ve written has gone viral via Reddit, that usually-cantankerous-quick-to-criticize online forum.
I watch with wonder as new comments and readers pour into my site. I refresh Reddit and see my article—“31 Things I’ve Learned in 31 Years”—work its way up the page.
And then the first snarky comment lands in my inbox.
“This isn’t wise. Anybody with half a brain has learned these things before they leave high school.”
My inbox pings again. As the day progresses, I’m told that I write like a teenager and that I look ten years older than I am. Commenters tell me I should keep my day job (I wasn’t planning on leaving it) and that I used the wrong form of ‘compliment’ (I didn’t).
A day that started with rose-colored glasses and visions of a book deal ends in tears. I eat my feelings and consider deleting my entire blog.
Instead I called Alexandra.
Alex Franzen, the author of the book you’re holding right this second, is my IRL friend and perhaps the world’s best pep-talk giver. You see, she doesn’t just give pep talks via books. She also gives them to her friends, in real life, after trolls say that said friend is “collectively lowering the IQ of the Internet.”
Good friend that she is, Alex was able to raise my spirits and give me a loving reality check. She assured me that, regardless of the trolls and the traffic spike of meanies, I’d survive. I’d live to blog another day! She reminded me that I could choose to gather myself up, brush myself off, and keep writing, blogging, and publishing.
She was right, of course. In the years since that post went viral, I’ve encountered other setbacks, trolls, and snark—online and off. And you know what? I’ve survived all of those as well.
Maybe you’ve never been trolled online, but I’m sure you’ve encountered your own version of this. You’ve been passed over for a promotion, dumped, or fired. Maybe your application wasn’t accepted. Perhaps you showed up for picture day with a stain on your shirt, a giant zit, and greasy hair.
Whatever the setback, this book (and Alex) will help.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to Suzanna. You are a survivor, in
a million different ways, and one of the strongest people
I’ve ever met. I can’t wait to watch you rise into the next
chapter of your life—and career.
Having a Rough Day at Work? Worried About Your Career? Feeling Frustrated? Overwhelmed? Embarrassed? Discouraged?
You are definitely not alone.
Right this second, somewhere in the world, I can guarantee:
—There’s a graphic designer who’s wondering how he’s going to find enough clients to pay his rent this month.
—There’s a restaurant owner who just peeked at Yelp and noticed yet another one-star review—and it’s four paragraphs long and filled with angry exclamation points. Yikes.
—There’s a Senator who’s panicking that she might disappoint her constituents, that she won’t get re-elected, or that an unflattering photo will get posted online and the Internet goblins will mock her clothes, her hair, and her beliefs.
Everywhere, in every corner of every city, and in every industry and profession, everyone’s going through…something.
Everyone’s grappling with some kind of challenge. It might be a huge challenge, or a comparatively small one. It might be happening privately, or publicly, or even on live TV. But everyone’s dealing with something, and everyone has moments where they wonder, “Am I going to make it?” “Why are people so cruel?” “Do I have what it takes to excel in my industry?” “Am I stupid for even attempting this project/path/semi-crazy idea?” “Why does it feel like my career is a flaming dumpster fire?” “Will it ever get easier?” “Maybe I should quit and begin a new life in a nunnery?”
I’ve felt that way many times. The person sitting in the cubicle or coffee shop seat next to yours—they’ve felt that way, too.
I wrote this book because I wanted to remind people (including myself) that feeling frustrated, discouraged, criticized, and rejected in the course of your career is actually…very normal.
Every career has its ups and downs. Everyone goes through dry spells, difficulties, and setbacks at some point or another—even A-list celebrities and presidential nominees. We’re all striving and struggling together.
Whatever you’re going through right now, or whatever you’re worrying might happen next, I want you to know: You’re going to survive.
Yeah, you might cry. Sure, you might feel compelled to eat an entire family-sized pizza all by yourself. Of course, you might want to crawl under a blanket and self-medicate with Netflix for the entire weekend because you’re a human being with human feelings and sometimes things hurt.
But no matter what happens, you’re going to survive. The silver lining is that you’ll become a smarter, wiser, funnier, more compassionate person because of whatever you’ve endured in your life and career. Like they say, “pressure creates diamonds.” It may not always feel like it, but sometimes, the worst moment of your entire career can be the catalyst for a new chapter, a new project, a brilliant new invention or system—maybe the best work you’ve ever done.
* * *
HI. HAVE WE MET?
It’s probably a good idea for me to introduce myself, in case we’ve never met…
Hello! My name is Alexandra Franzen, but most people call me “Alex.” I also respond to “Ali,” “Al,” “Franz,” and “Hey, you with the blue hair.”
For most of my grown-up life, I’ve worked as a writer, editor, and communication consultant. I’ve also worked in the public broadcasting industry, which you’ll read about later in this book. And one time, I helped my sweetheart Brandon open a brunch restaurant. You’ll read a few stories about that, too.