I can’t love and fear you at the same time. That is not peace. I can’t feel peace inside me if I’m in a constant battle about what you represent in my life and how to honor you and my fellow humans. My internal battle starts with my not understanding you.
Spiritually Lost
For women who are enraged by other women’s actions…
Dear Women-Bashing Women,
Now I feel like I have really seen it all. How do we expect men not to be against us when so many of us are against each other? You don’t agree with my parenting style—don’t do it! You don’t agree with my hairstyle—don’t get it done! You don’t like my clothes—don’t wear them! You don’t like what my life looks like—don’t choose to live like me! Even over all that, what really has me the most enraged is the women who are criticizing the brave women coming forward reporting abuse and harassment. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? REALLY?!?!
Who are you to say anything to a woman that brave? You should be thanking her. She is contributing to stopping a cycle, so it stops getting passed down from generation to generation. Our daughters won’t have to suffer as we did. Our daughters’ daughters will suffer less than they did. Then, at some point, girls won’t feel like they have to shut up and be quiet when a man tries to take advantage of them.
Just because you may have put up with it and it doesn’t bother you, that doesn’t mean that anyone who feels differently shouldn’t voice it. I won’t put up with any abuse so that you can feel comfortable. I’m done with women like you thinking you are representing the majority of women. You are for abuse if you can belittle a woman for coming forward. You are against women’s rights.
I’m sorry if you put up with this from parents, boyfriends, and/or husbands, but REALLY, do you think other women should have to shut up and be silent? Is that really what you think? These women aren’t whining. They finally have a place to raise their voices and say what they have been dying to say.
These are the women who would embrace you if you needed it, and you are turning your back on them. What are you hiding from? What is creating that dark wall inside you that can make you act so cruel? Do you really feel that little inside that you need to tear another woman down?
A Brave Woman’s Friend
For those who are fed up with the negativity on social media…
Dear Social Media Users,
Really? I mean REALLY! I’m at the point where I can’t stand social media anymore. We have spiritual beliefs and somehow, by practicing prayer, we are insulting others. If we are members of a minority and speak up, others may assume we are trying to represent our whole culture instead of just expressing our personal beliefs. Can’t we have our own personal opinions without it turning into a war? Christianity can’t agree on everything from church to church. Doctors don’t always agree on how to treat people. A man can’t be the voice of ALL men. A woman can’t be the voice of ALL women. We are each individuals who accomplish great things and make mistakes. We sometimes say things out of ignorance. It doesn’t mean we are sexist, racist, anti-gay, anti-religion, right-wing, left-wing, or anti-men.
Why are we so quick to judge instead of asking questions? If we see something we don’t like, why do we have to attack before we find out what was really happening? Why do we like to judge people and situations so negatively so fast? Now, I’m not saying that, if someone makes a completely racist or sexist comment, we shouldn’t call it out. And we do that by asking if that is what they meant and then educating them if they were just being ignorant.
But what I’m witnessing is that we are full of so much anger. I’m watching people spew out hate in responses to sometimes innocent or maybe ignorant people sharing a moment on social media. When did we become such a shaming society? Is that what social media brought us? Have we been being groomed for this? Are the haters really the majority?
A Terrified Me
Are You Uncomfortable Yet?
The question that will lead some to avoidance, denial, and addictions and others, who are ready to face all the darkness, to awareness, acceptance, and positive action
Here’s where we need to be careful and often get stuck. A flame is ignited inside us by injustice. We’re angry and frustrated and we want change. We react in our pain states. We make rash decisions, not considering the whole. We actually feed our negativity into honorable causes. People end up knowing what you are against, but not what you are for. This will continue as long as the message is driven by fear, anger, rage, and resentment. If what you are reading is making you squirm, good! Squirming is what the caterpillar does before it transforms into a butterfly. Now is the time to get uncomfortable. There has been an invisible barrier keeping women at a certain level. We are getting ready to shatter it. The question is: Are you ready?
This stage can be painful for women who have experienced trauma. It can also be painful for men who treated women as less-than without thinking anything of it. The role of villain may seem obvious, but some of these men are unconscious of what they are actually doing. When they are forced to open their eyes, the shame and guilt spiral can take them down. Whether a person is the perpetrator or the victim, some will use drugs, eat, drink, shop, gamble, and/or become relationship junkies, to name a few escape mechanisms. They will do these things so that they don’t have to feel through the pain. During these painful times, we will question our spirituality and core beliefs. We can’t pretend the questioning isn’t there.
Some of women’s biggest champions are men who have made horrible mistakes in devaluing women. Let’s give people a chance to change before we attack. Some of the most vicious personal attacks on women come from other women who are caught in some sort of cycle of denial of their own truth. As we get stronger, we become clearer. Come on, part of being empowered women is trusting our instincts. Don’t let rage cloud one of our greatest gifts.
I know it’s uncomfortable, but it’s important for our growth as conscious humans. We can’t stay in the dark about where people are and where we are. This is a step in the transformation to becoming empowered women. Get in the dirt and FEEL through it. If we ever want to get healthy, we must process the deeply buried feelings first. When it comes to personal, communal, and environmental growth, we must get uncomfortable. When we get uncomfortable, we move and we shift. That is how we shatter the status quo.
Struggle to look in the mirror…
Dear Me,
I hate you. Why are you so stupid? Why did you let him do this to you again? Why can’t you stand up for yourself? Why are you such a doormat? You keep giving and giving and now you are empty. What else do you have? No one wants you. You can’t do anything right.
You mess up everything! Look at you! Standing in the mirror, I see your cellulite, and your stomach jiggles more than Jell-O. How do you expect someone to even want to see you naked? People have no idea the person you really are. Okay, put on that fake smile again. Maybe they won’t notice how you have to drink and eat yourself to sleep every night because you’re so miserable.
You are always talking about your problems. You need to distract others from how pathetic your life is. You are constantly on defense. You hate your life. Life hates you. I hate feeling this way about you. I want to understand how you got here. Why do you keep attracting men who treat you horribly and women who backstab you? When did you stop being happy? Were you ever happy? How do I stop hating you?
A Broken Me
Tired