Hardy died eight years before his partner. While the larger half of the pair was often the idea man on screen, he was actually the more laid-back half of the duo in real life. Known to his friends as Babe, Hardy was a gentle giant, well-liked by all who knew him.
Ollie is perhaps best known for his delivery of the line, “Well, here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into,” that often punctuated Laurel and Hardy’s sketches.
His last years were beset by health problems, including heart attacks and strokes, the first of which hit him during his final tour with Laurel. He died with his wife by his side. His last words were to her:
“I love you.”
Lucille Ball (1911–1989)
The titular star of I Love Lucy did it all. She was an outrageously funny comedian, a talented actress, a model, a producer, and a studio executive. They had to build new glass ceilings just so she could break through them.
Lucy left us with a lot of fantastic lines like, “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age,” and “A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he isn’t very bright.” Her final words were simple, but strangely haunting. In response to a nurse asking her if there was anything she needed, Lucy answered:
“My Florida water.”
Desi Arnaz (1917–1986)
It is impossible to think of Lucy without thinking of her on- and off-stage love, Desi Arnaz. Like his famous wife, the Cuban-born actor and musician broke down many barriers of his own. Desi managed to become not only a national star but also an important voice behind the scenes as a cofounder of Desilu Productions, while never losing touch with his heritage or resorting to easy humor.
Though the couple had some decidedly rocky times, ultimately divorcing in 1960, they remained fast friends until Desi’s death. In fact, Desi’s last words, before he finally lost his long battle with lung cancer, were reportedly spoken over the phone to his ex-wife:
“I love you too, honey. Good luck with your show.”
Writers
For those whose entire lives are about leaving their mark on the annals of history, one would think that last words are especially crucial. As Mark Twain famously pointed out, “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”
It should come as no surprise then that many of the writers listed in this chapter were indeed prepared for their one shot at nailing that all-important last line—though others, including Twain himself, seemingly found themselves with a very untimely case of writer’s block.
Voltaire (1694–1778)
To say that Voltaire was prolific would be like saying that the Eiffel Tower is somewhat well-known. The French playwright, novelist, poet, essayist, pamphleteer, historian, and academic wrote more than twenty thousand letters and more than two thousand books and pamphlets. Even more impressively, a lot of them are actually pretty good.
Voltaire was known for his lifelong battle against censorship, a battle that landed him in prison on a couple of occasions, including a stint in the Bastille and, worse yet, exile in England. There was no topic too high to be a target for his sharp tongue.
Many of his quotes have become commonplace sayings, such as, “Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities,” “Common sense is not so common,” and “Judge of a man by his questions rather than by his answers.”
Another of Voltaire’s best-known quotes is “A witty saying proves nothing,” which is somewhat ironic considering his last words. When Voltaire was asked on his deathbed to renounce Satan, he answered:
“Now is the not the time for making new enemies.”
Dylan Thomas (1914–1953)
Thomas would top most lists of famous Welshmen. In his thirty-nine short years, Thomas managed to write some of the world’s most beloved and well-known poems and had an illustrious career in radio.
He was also one of history’s most famous drinkers. He saw it as more a point of honor than a hindrance, and, by all accounts, he could do it better than most. One of the poet’s most famous quotes sums up his feelings on the matter: “An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.”
Thomas himself did not go gentle into that good night; he did not go gentle at all. In fact, his last days involved staying at the infamous Hotel Chelsea and doing a fair bit of drinking. The night before he died, Thomas famously returned from the pub and announced:
“I’ve had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that’s the record!”
Emily Dickinson (1830–1886)
One of America’s greatest poets, Dickinson lived most of her life in isolation. Her few relationships survived through correspondence, and correspond she could. Dickinson was one of the most beautiful writers who ever to put pen to paper. Her best-loved lines include “To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else” and “Beauty is not caused. It is.”
The end of her life was fraught with sadness, as she lost what seemed like an endless stream of friends and family, one after another, until she finally lost her own years-long battle with Bright’s disease. Her last words were as haunting as one might expect:
“I must go in, for the fog is rising.”
Oscar Wilde (1854–1900)
Wilde was, and perhaps still is, the undisputed master of witticisms. The beloved writer of plays, novels, essays, and heartbreaking children’s stories has left more memorable lines in his wake than anyone not born in Stratford-upon-Avon.
It is fitting that Wilde was as prolific on his deathbed as he was throughout his life. In his final days, Wilde left us with a bevy of lines that only he could deliver, and, while none of them were his absolute final ones, all of them are memorable. They include:
“I am dying beyond my means,” “It would really be more than the English could stand if another century began and I were still alive,” and “My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go.”
Henrik Ibsen (1828–1906)
Ibsen was a Norwegian playwright who influenced basically every playwright of the twentieth century. To give some sense of how beloved Ibsen was by some of his contemporaries, James Joyce reportedly became fluent in Norwegian just so he could read Ibsen in his original language.
Known as the father of realism, Ibsen has a dark humor that runs through much of his work, which was on full display in his final hour.
In his last days, Ibsen