Copyright © 2019 by Joseph Hayden.
Published by Mango Publishing Group, a division of Mango Media Inc.
Layout & Cover Design: Elina Diaz
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Any Last Words?: Deathbed Quotes and Famous Farewells
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication number: 2019938544
ISBN: (print) 978-1-63353-990-7, (ebook) 978-1-63353-991-4
BISAC category code: HUM015000—HUMOR / Form / Anecdotes & Quotations
Printed in the United States of America
Disclaimer
This book is not meant as an academic work. While the information herein is thought to be common knowledge, that does not necessarily make it true, nor has it been peer-reviewed. Furthermore, none of the speakers of these last words have been available for comment, due to a mortality rate of 100 percent. Please accept this as a work meant purely for entertainment, though hopefully it will inspire readers to seek out the truth about these (mostly) great people.
Table of Contents
Chapter Three: Politicians and Leaders
Chapter Four: Athletes
Chapter Five: Last Words in Film
Chapter Six: Artists
Chapter Seven: Musicians
Chapter Eight: Scientists
Chapter Nine: Criminals
Chapter Ten: Miscellaneous
Chapter Eleven: Tombstones
A Few More Last Words
About the Author
Your last words are probably the hardest you will ever say. First of all, you are almost certain to be in the worst health of your life. If you are lucky enough to be in a hospital at a ripe old age, surrounded by friends and family, you are likely to be distracted by being really, really sick. If you die suddenly, anything other than “Ugggh” can be seen as a win. Outside of the fortunate few, these last words are rarely the ones of serene, calm individuals.
However, despite the fact that final words aren’t always the most eloquent, they are significant. They are often a little glimpse into the speaker: a snapshot of a person’s truest self. Other times they are examples of people reacting to the most difficult situations they will ever face. Some are clever, others are loving, some are heartbreaking, a few are desperately sad, but all say something about the speaker.
In these pages you will find the last words of over two hundred actors, writers, musicians, politicians, criminals, thinkers, athletes, and more. We will look at a brief snapshot of each of these extraordinary lives and the ways in which many of their final words provided a fitting epitaph to a life interestingly lived.
It is worth repeating that none of the speakers involved have responded to requests for authentication or clarification, so we will have to make our best guesses as to the true intention of each. As for the words themselves, some have been passed down through centuries, others were recorded by dubious sources, and all are to be taken with at least a pinch of salt—though many of the most beautiful truths can be found in fabrications.
Hollywood
Hollywood has been built on the phenomenal talents of men and women like Charlie Chaplin, John Wayne, and Marilyn Monroe—all of whom are now dead. Stanley Kubrick is also dead, and so are Mary Pickford and Peter Sellers. Alfred Hitchcock, Groucho Marx, Joan Crawford? Dead, dead, and dead. Death comes to us all, even the famous and beautiful. These are people who left an unmistakable mark on the world, people whose work has inspired generations, and people who are now super-duper dead. Have you ever wondered why Paul Newman hasn’t made a film in a while? I will give you one guess.
All of these talented superstars have left behind a legacy. To paraphrase Robin Williams quoting Walt Whitman in Dead Poets Society, the powerful play goes on, and they have contributed a verse. A few of them were even able to sneak in one more great line before the end. From the hilarious to the heartfelt, here are a few of the best last lines of some of Hollywood’s brightest stars.
Groucho Marx (1890–1977)
It would be hard to find a modern comedian who wasn’t influenced by Groucho Marx. One of the quickest and most quotable wits in the history of Hollywood, Groucho lines have become a part of everyday life. The man with the bushy black moustache and ubiquitous cigar made thirteen films with the Marx brothers, including the classic Duck Soup, as well as enjoying decades of success as a solo act on radio, screen, and stage, including the hit show You Bet Your Life.
His impact is so broad that even Queen Elizabeth II quoted him on her eightieth birthday, saying “Anyone can get old—all you have to do is live long enough.”
Only someone as clever as Groucho would have too many good lines to settle on just one final zinger. A few close friends have suggested that his last words were “This is no way to live!” while most suggest that his last words were to his wife, specifically:
“Die, my dear? Why, that’s the last thing I’ll do!”
Either way, everyone agrees that Groucho left with one heck of a one-liner.
Charlie