Set your table and stick to it.
Dear Woman,
Sometimes,
you’ll just be too much woman.
Too smart.
Too beautiful.
Too strong.
Too much of something
that makes a man feel like less of a man,
which will start making you feel
like you have to be less of a woman.
The biggest mistake you can make
is removing jewels from your crown
to make it easier for a man to carry.
When this happens, I need you to understand:
You do not need a smaller crown—
You need a man with bigger hands.
“One of the most beautiful things to witness is observing a woman who has fallen in love with herself; one who accepts her flaws and appreciates her gifts, but is most proud of how well the two fit together.”
I cannot stress enough the importance of self-love. Once you find it, it will truly be your best friend. It’s the key to living a positive life. It’s about acceptance, it’s about honesty, and it’s about being content. It’s about loving who you see in the mirror, whether it’s 6 a.m. on a Tuesday in your bathroom or 10 p.m. in the mirror of your car on a Saturday night. They are the same woman.
Many women get too caught up in what society thinks is beautiful. It’s ok to see beauty in others and appreciate it, but what you should never do is see the beauty in someone else and let it make you feel uncomfortable about you.
“Everybody wants to be the girl in the magazine, but the girl in the magazine isn’t even the girl in the magazine.”
When you don’t have that self-love, you go looking for it. You start second-guessing yourself when it comes to your beauty. You’ll start wondering how you can make yourself beautiful. Be careful.
Ask yourself, “How far am I willing to go?” There is a difference between playing with makeup and wanting a new face, or between wanting to lose a few pounds and not eating today because the way someone else looked yesterday makes you want to look like her tomorrow. Instead, give credit where credit is due, including to yourself. You are a model, too. It’s just that the magazine you should be on the cover of hasn’t gone to print yet. They haven’t written the song yet for the music video you’re supposed to star in. So, should that stop you? Absolutely not, not when the whole world is your runway. There isn’t a height, weight, skin tone, hairstyle, or “look” that’s trending. You know what’s really in and never going out of style? You. The sooner you realize it, the sooner you’ll crack a smile when you see those people who try too hard to be someone else —the people who spend hours getting ready to be seen for minutes. Don’t let that be you. Life is lived by the second. Don’t waste it trying to get ready for the world. Wake up, look in the mirror, and ask yourself, “Is the world ready for me?” Love the skin you’re in—if not, you’re going to wake up one day and not even recognize yourself.
Dear Woman,
Never forget that you’re beautiful.
When the makeup can’t seem to beat your face enough.
When the corsets and body wraps
can’t shrink your waist enough.
Be woman enough
to look yourself in the mirror and say,
“This is my body, and I love it just the way it is.”
Be your own woman crush,
no matter what day it is.
Whether you’re constantly in designer clothes,
or constantly having real life situations
that take the part of your check you had planned
to use to buy your clothes.
Remember, it isn’t what you wear,
or how you wear it—
it’s about not letting what’s on your body affect your spirit.
When you can’t fill out a two-piece the way you want to,
remember, God is your plastic surgeon.
If He wanted you to have it,
He would have given it to you.
“Naturally, a woman’s first love should be her father.
However, when it’s not, it’s not.”
To the women who grew up with one: To say that there isn’t some sort of supernatural connection that happens between a father and his daughter throughout the process of raising her is difficult to do. A good dad makes moms jealous, boyfriends nervous, and the world just a little bit easier to handle. There are so many women who will testify that their father was the first man they ever fell in love with. There are women who will swear that the love, attention, support and encouragement they received from Dad, and sometimes even the lack of it, were probably the single most important aspects of their growth.
A woman who has that type of connection with her father no doubt has and/or will have an easier transition into becoming a woman. To those women, I want you to take a moment to realize how fortunate you are. If he’s around, shoot him a text, tell him, “Thank you.” Everybody likes to feel appreciated, even Dad. From the hugs and kisses to the walks and talks, from the screaming and yelling to the embarrassing phone calls and strict rules, everything was done for a reason. No matter what, he was always that lap to sit on, a shoulder to cry on, and that extra twenty bucks when you needed it. Cherish those memories.
Appreciate the good times as well as the tough ones. Having a dad is a beautiful thing, even when some of the decisions he makes or some of his actions as your dad aren’t so beautiful. Understand that as with life, there is no handbook that comes with fatherhood. There is no bonus you get in your paycheck every week or discount card you receive in the mail for raising a child. The only real incentive you get is maybe a cool card and a free meal on Father’s Day or a couple extra gifts with your name under the Christmas tree, and that maybe twenty-five years from now, your daughter might call you to say, “Thank you.” He may fall short, but those are just the places where you can stand tall. He may not say he’s proud of you, so be proud of yourself. Be grateful for it all, because the only bad father is the one who doesn’t try.
To the women who had to grow up without one: I know what it’s like to feel empty—to feel like there is a void in your life, like something is missing. I also know that there aren’t too many words I can say that can replace not having a father. My only advice is, “You can’t miss what wasn’t there.” I need you to understand that being a father is just a choice, a choice that you make to be man enough to take care of your responsibilities. This is a decision that every man must make on his