Using the dream symbol of being trapped in the freezer, Frances regressed to age four where she had polio and was in an iron lung. They told her she could not move and tied her down so that she couldn’t even if she wanted to. She was clearly in a deep state of shock, exemplified by the symbol of being in a freezer in her dream. She was terrified as no one explained to her what was happening and no one was allowed to touch her. She felt abandoned, terrified and confused. Her mother was not there and the nurses were very mean. The conclusion she made about herself was, “Something is very wrong with me,” and the decision was, “I’ll have to figure it out myself.”
Then she was regressed again and went back to the cold, judgmental womb of her mother. She sensed that her mother was unprepared for another baby and would have had an abortion if it weren’t for the church rules. Her father was also very unhappy, feeling that they certainly could not afford another baby. She was very underdeveloped at birth, due to lack of proper nourishment from her mother, and was placed in an incubator. She began to get the symbolism of the freezer from her dream on an even deeper level. The empty womb of her mother and the incubator were both places she felt trapped and were both devoid of warmth, nurturing or any type of support that a baby needs. Her need shock was severe and so she became desperate to please her mother and the church, because these seemed to be her only chance at human contact.
Another image came to her as she became older and that was that she was a monkey with a collar around her neck, performing for her mother and the church. She realized that she had been in shock her whole life, at least since the incubator, and that her mother led her around by the “monkey collar” with rules and regulations and fear of God’s punishment all her life. Just a few of the rules were “Go to church every day, don’t think for yourself, don’t speak unless spoken to, your ideas are stupid, I know what’s best for you,” etc. In her psychodrama, she was the monkey being pulled by the collar.
But Frances began to pull off the collar to take her agency back. She said, “Your rules are choking me and I’m going to think for myself. I am going to make my own decisions and I can make my own decisions!” She became stronger and more powerful as she took her power back from her mother and the church. She knew it was her experience with pneumonia that brought her to awareness of how she was feeling suffocated. She felt thankful for the experience of being trapped in the hospital, which brought back the memories of the iron lung and incubator which kept her in shock much of her life. She reclaimed her power, her voice and her ability to think and make decisions for herself. This was a powerful session where the client, through a series of adverse experiences, was able to see her life more clearly and heal the deep patterns of shock that had trapped her for so long.
THE LION TAMER
Her job is to domesticate the wild ones, even at great personal risk. This can be a legitimate strategy for dealing with abusive caregivers: do whatever it takes to calm them when they begin getting agitated, anticipate their needs and provide them before the demands become abusive. Or perhaps crack the whip and try to overpower the wild one. The methods vary, but the lion tamer is always vigilantly aware of her lion’s mood, hunger level and readiness for violence. Taming the lion is a great challenge and is never completely accomplished, but rather must be re-established in every encounter. And any self-respecting lion tamer will show off her prowess by placing her head in the lion’s mouth; she knows that her success and reputation depend on demonstrating just how dangerous the wild one that she is taming is. So she has a perverse vested interest in keeping her lion wild.
THE JUGGLER
He is able to amaze everyone by keeping multiple balls in the air or plates spinning, attending to each one only enough to avoid it crashing to the ground. He challenges himself right to the limit of what anyone thinks is possible to balance, and as soon as he masters that challenge he adds another ball or another plate. More is always better. It requires focused attention, keeping his conscious awareness narrowed down to the immediate task at hand. There is always another task just at the point of crashing, demanding attention. It is never-ending and soon becomes exhausting.
THE ROUSTABOUTS AND THE CARNIES
These are unsavory characters who do the grunt work. They are the only truly essential ones in the fantasy because they hold it all together. They build the fantasy, day in and day out, providing the structure for the illusion. They are hard workers…but only until payday. In other words, until they get their short-term desires met. Then it may be time to go out and “celebrate.” They can’t understand why anyone feels betrayed when they do, because that was the only motivation for doing the hard work in the first place. The irony is that everyone needs to depend on them for the existence of the structure and yet they are truly undependable.
THE BUSINESS MANAGER
The Business Manager is busy in his separate office, counting the money and disconnected from the goings-on all around him. His only connection with the others in the circus family is to pay them off. He has a vital role, but manages to accomplish it while remaining detached. The office is an effective place to hide from involvement with others and to receive social rewards for doing so. He can hold himself as superior to the Ringmaster, above the high drama and dazzling spectacle, while capable of just as much multitasking.
THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM
As we have said, a minor split of the soul from the ego may create a shadow in which a powerful archetype may begin to influence the ego, allowing it to act in ways that the soul would not normally direct it to. At that level, however, the soul is still present, and the shadow is consciously recognized by the ego. With deeper trauma, the split is more divisive; the soul has fled further away, and the archetype takes substantial control of the ego in a mutual agreement for safety. In the case of shock, the soul has truly “left the building” or split from an aspect of the ego, and the archetype takes control to the point of altering physiology.
We emphasize the point that as part of the ego splits from the true self, it doesn’t just disappear. In its arrangement with one or more archetypes from the collective unconscious, it forms a primitively organized alternative self that has its own identity. When this happens, the soul has effectively gone into hiding, and we use another analogy for this called the “witness protection program.”
We use this term because, in a traditional witness protection program, one who is under some kind of threat finds protection by not only relocating, but also by assuming a new identity. Without a new identity, the new location doesn’t help, because you might still be found. So in the case of trauma, you may relocate by leaving the body, in a sense, or dissociating. You separate the conscious connection with the body, with relationships, even with your own spiritual identity. And so you relocate and create that new identity.
In the witness protection program, you have to get rid of any similarities to your old life to make sure you cannot be found, and this includes the things you used to do. Your work, for example. Prior to trauma you may act in a certain way; but once traumatized, there is a need for protection and a need to act in different ways, to become something you weren’t before.
Maybe, for instance, you had to become really, really good. By this we mean being extraordinarily obedient, doing everything you’re told right away. In fact, you don’t even have to be asked—you anticipate the needs of those you perceive to be a threat (whether this is true or not, it’s your perception that counts). You become hyper-vigilant, tuned in to abusers or other threats in order to proactively minimize pain or danger.
You can see this in the example of a young child. When a child is three years old, undisturbed by trauma, they’ll tell you who they are. They have a very good sense of this. They know who they are, what they like and don’t like, who they like