‘Besides, you told me you were my hero and that you would always be there for me. No complaining now,’ Lauren returned to the topic at hand.
Chris smirked.
‘So maybe you want to at least tell me why I’m doing this? Ben was being very mysterious and all. He only said that you dropped out of art school . . .’
She shrugged her shoulders. That, at least, was the one point she and her parents were able to agree on. She would help out at the law firm, doing office work, until the baby arrived. But after that, who knew.
‘So I guess you can’t bear being away from me for so long, am I right?’
Chris couldn’t help but flirt. That was the way he was, and Lauren didn’t mind. It took the seriousness out of every conversation, and she knew exactly how he meant it. They were like brother and sister and enjoyed teasing each other. But today even Chris couldn’t help her forget what was actually going on.
‘I wish I could say it’s because of you, Chris, but . . .’
She folded her hands in her lap, awkwardly pressing her lips together.
‘What is it? Did something happen?’ She could tell from his eyes that he was worried.
Lauren attempted a smile.
‘I . . . I’m pregnant. That’s why I’m coming back.’
Chris gasped for air, and his eyes wandered down to her belly which, at the end of the first trimester, still looked quite inconspicuous.
Her friend looked so shocked that Lauren almost laughed out loud. Underneath his tattoos his skin had turned the same color as the snow that was blowing against the window outside.
‘Don’t worry, lover, it’s not yours,’ she explained, feeling amused.
‘Ha-ha, very funny, Lorelei! As if you’d ever have me touch you.’
‘Don’t be sad, Chris – you know I’ve always loved you, but you’re just too handsome for me,’ she teased, and Chris’s skin finally returned to its normal healthy color.
‘Is it Tim’s?’ he asked, gently. She nodded.
‘What did he say?’
Lauren took a deep breath. She was holding onto her warm coffee cup so as to not lose her cool.
‘Lauren – what did he say?’ Chris repeated when he didn’t hear her reply.
‘He . . .’
‘He’s sticking by you, right? He’s going to support you and the baby, isn’t he?’ Lauren reached for his hand, because Chris seemed upset.
‘He doesn’t know, all right?!’ she said quickly, looking him in the eye. ‘Nobody knows. Only me, Ben and my parents.’
‘What about Rachel?’
‘Not yet. I’m seeing her for the first time tomorrow as she’s been away skiing with Mason, remember?’
‘You have to tell him!’ Chris wrinkled his forehead and reached for the wrench. ‘He needs to know,’ he insisted, before tackling the last of the chairs. Lauren silently watched him for a while, then sat down next to him on the floor.
‘But we’re not together,’ she explained quietly.
Chris thrust a screw anchor into her hand and reached for the next brace.
‘He has a right to know.’
Angrily, she pressed her lips together.
‘He’s seeing someone else! Do you think I can just walk up to him and tell him that he’s about to be a father?’
Chris stopped and thought on this. Then he looked at her.
‘I would want to know.’
Lauren moaned and shook her head.
‘I wanted to tell him!’ she explained, blinking away a few tears that had suddenly welled up.
‘I went by his house on Christmas morning,’ she said, and suddenly she was back inside her own story. ‘I drove down his street, and there he was – with his bleach-blonde Barbie doll, Caroline. He was laughing, hugging her and all, and he didn’t seem to miss me all that much. And so I just kept driving.’
‘I understand that this must be painful for you, but still: go talk to him!’
Two weeks later the news had made the rounds, and after her parents’ difficulty adjusting and Rachel’s initial shock everyone had come to accept the fact that Lauren was going to have a baby.
Lauren blamed the fact that Tim was the only person not to know on a stressful holiday season, the end of the year and the beginning of a new one, and really on pretty much anything that might serve as an excuse.
She was leafing through a guidebook on pregnancy and baby care, trying to suppress the nagging anxiety inside. But she didn’t really succeed, and so she lowered the book and stared out the window.
Vermont was completely buried under the snow. To Lauren it seemed as if the world had never been as calm and serene as it had been these past few days. Winter brought peace.
Meanwhile, she had made herself fully at home at the lake house and enjoyed the changes. There’d be quite a lot left to do in the spring, but not now that it was cold. Lauren wanted a fresh coat of paint on the walls and to have the floors sanded, but for now she would make do with some extra furniture and a new showerhead. Ben and Chris had gone to the hardware store to get some supplies. She wanted to tag along, but today was a particularly bad day for her nausea.
Even the two cups of ginger-infused herbal tea had done nothing to make her feel better. To get her blood flowing again she decided to take a walk by the lakes, and so she wrapped herself in her winter coat, slipped on her boots and grabbed her hat. Maybe the fresh air would do her good.
Lauren had the sneaky suspicion that her nausea might also be related to the fact that she’d been putting off that conversation with Tim for so long. She would need to tell him, and soon – preferably before she was showing. But the longer she waited, the harder it became.
The ice-cold breeze blew snow into her eyes, and she pulled her hat over her face. The lake on the sides of the shore was frozen solid, but in the middle she could see the ripples on the surface of the water. The sun was nothing but a small, pale dot that kept disappearing behind a thick cloud cover. More snow had been announced over the next few days, and Lauren was glad that she didn’t need to be someplace else. Although this wasn’t quite true: her dad had asked her to start her new job at his office next week. Christmas season was over, and lawsuits were flooding in. Family feuds, set off by the holidays, and a whole bunch of accidents caused by the inclement weather offered the law firm a very prosperous start into the new business year. Since Peter’s vacation was coming to an end, Lauren, too, would have to bite the bullet. And she would have so preferred to pull her comforter over her head and keep sleeping the days away. At the firm, she wouldn’t be able to avoid running into Tim. If she wanted to prevent a scene from being played out in public, she would need to take action as soon as possible.
Lauren’s eyes wandered over the glittering lake all the way to the bare trees on the other shore.
‘Lauren!’ Her name being called yanked her from her daydreams, and her pulse was beating hard before she even turned around.
Tim came stomping toward her. He was wearing only a pair of jeans and a Norwegian wool sweater in a blue pattern. His cheeks were red from the cold, but he didn’t seem to mind.
Lauren looked around for help, but there was nobody there. Shit! No way out of this.
With her knees trembling she started walking toward him, her shoulders pulled back but her eyes lowered. She didn’t dare