1 “Americans’ Views on Mobile Etiquette, Chapter 1: Always on Connectivity,” Pew Research Center, August 26, 2015, http://www.pewinternet.org/2015/08/26/chapter-1-always-on-connectivity/.
2 “Wasting Time at Work: The Epidemic Continues,” Forbes.com, July 31, 2015, https://www.forbes.com/sites/cherylsnappconner/2015/07/31/wasting-time-at-work-the-epidemic-continues/#2a13d3c61d94.
3 “Americans’ Views on Mobile Etiquette, Chapter 2: Phone Use in Public Area,” August 26, 2015, http://www.pewinternet.org/2015/08/26/chapter-2-phone-use-in-public-areas/.
Day 2
The Purge: Eliminating the Chaff
Yesterday you took the first steps toward detachment by creating a systematic schedule for your day. This system is the skeleton of your detached life in that it will keep everything else in its proper place. Today, fill that skeleton with everything else it needs to sustain a healthier, holier life.
When John the Baptist was baptizing people in the Jordan River, the Pharisees and Sadducees — the quintessential religious hypocrites of the time — came to be baptized. John had some pretty strong words for them: “When he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming for baptism, he said to them, ‘You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come? Bear fruit that befits repentance’” (Mt 3:7–8).
The Pharisees and Sadducees had come because they were concerned with keeping face as the religious leaders of the people. John knew their empty intentions and so warned them to bear good fruit as a sign of their repentance. Good fruit can only be produced when all of the things that keep us away from holiness — the chaff — is discarded and only that which is good, holy, and pure — the wheat — remains.
John continued: “I baptize you with water for repentance, but he who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry; he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire. His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor and gather his wheat into the granary, but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire” (Mt 3:11–12).
Our digital habits have a profound effect upon our souls. The things we access and spend time on become part of our identity. Our corporeal lives have become a reflection of our digital lives in so many ways that, at times, it is difficult to distinguish one from another. We spend more time interacting with friends and loved ones via text, social media, and phone calls than actual face-to-face interaction. Our phones have made it so fun and so efficient to share our lives and access information quickly that it is hard to discern what aspects of our device usage are wheat and what are chaff.
But deep down you know there is a difference.
Much of what we encounter on our devices is wheat. There are tremendous benefits to technology use on a daily basis. But, if you are taking this retreat seriously, it is likely that you feel there is more chaff in your digital life than good fruit. Let’s work on getting rid of the chaff.
Detach from Each Device
If you are like most people, your cellphone is the primary culprit when it comes to screen addictions. It is the most compact, mobile, and fluid means to connect to the digital world. You are likely no more than ten feet away from it at any given moment throughout your day, and on the rare occasion you forget to bring it with you somewhere, you feel as if a part of you is missing.
If you are lucky enough to have other devices (let’s call them “secondary” devices, such as a video-gaming system, laptop, tablet, or a piece of wearable tech such as a fitness band), then the chances of your success in this retreat are severely limited. You might be able to go without your phone for the entire duration, but the temptation to waste time using a different device will occur. When it does, you need to be strong enough to withstand it. Remember that this is a goal worth fighting for. Remember for whom you are making this sacrifice. Do it for them, for your own soul, for God.
Eliminate All Nonproductive Apps
There are two types of apps: (1) the ones that waste our time and (2) the ones that create more time for us to do the things we love.
We walk a very thin line when it comes to using apps for entertainment. Yes, we are supposed to enjoy ourselves, to relax and unwind through recreation, but doing so via an entertainment app (games, social media, online shopping, video streaming, and, yes, even reading) can become an addictive circle of constant activity. You might start by creating a post on social media and, while you wait for people to respond to it, you play a game. Once you beat the next level, you might open a reading app and start that new novel you just bought, but then, suddenly, you receive a push notification saying so-and-so left a comment on your post. You bounce back and forth like this until your mind is switching between several apps, overloading itself on a barrage of content instead of doing what you originally set out to do when you sat on the couch and took out your phone … to relax!
On the other hand, there are apps that can save time and energy. For example, you likely have a banking app that allows you to pay bills, transfer funds, and maybe even cash checks by taking a picture of them. This is a productive app. It takes away the burden of traveling to the bank to manage your money. This is the type of time-saving technology was properly designed to provide. It frees us from needless activity and creates time to do things that bring us true happiness. On top of that, it is not addictive by nature. I don’t know of anyone who stays up until 3:00 a.m. because they are so engaged in their banking app.
For the next twenty days, eliminate every single app that wastes your time. Remember, this is a retreat, not an exodus. By deleting apps you are not committing to deleting entire accounts. You may decide to return to them after the retreat is over, which is fine and, for some people, may be necessary if your work requires you to use those apps regularly.
Start with entertainment apps. You don’t need those. Your entertainment for the next twenty days (and hopefully for all time thereafter) will consist of many other things that we will discuss in future chapters.
Next, alert your social-media followers that you will be going on retreat. If you go straight to retreat mode without letting them know, some might think that something tragic happened to you, which will leave them with three weeks of angst and preoccupation before they realize you are fine. Don’t be that friend. Give them the news by posting a status update saying something like the following: “I am fasting from Facebook for 21 days. Please pray for me and join me at detachedlife.com.”
At detachedlife.com I’ve provided an image that can be used as your profile picture to remind yourself and your friends that you are on retreat. Download it, replace your current profile image, and then feel comfortable knowing you didn’t leave your friends hanging while you basked in the glory of retreat time.
Finally, delete social-media apps. Social media can be used to efficiently market and campaign in the business world, but it can also take hours away from your day as you mindlessly scroll through friends’ updates. You will find out how to properly schedule your social-media time in the chapters to come, but for the purpose of this retreat, eliminate the temptation by deleting them from your phone.
Put a Leash on Email
You are likely on the fence about deleting your email app, especially if it is necessary for work. Email is a particularly unique player in the game of behavior addiction. On one hand, we need it to effectively communicate with colleagues, professional and educational