Juice. Brady G. Wilson

      One weekend, Rick’s eight-year-old son Cody cut the lawn by himself for the first time. It was a hot day. Through the window Rick could see Cody pushing hard, sweat trickling off his chin, the dust and grass flying around him.

      Forty minutes later, Cody burst through the door, stopped abruptly as he remembered to take his grassy shoes off, then ran down the hallway.

      “Dad!” he called, “Dad! Come and see. I finished it. Come and see the lawn!”

      Rick grinned at his son’s glistening, grimy face as they headed outside.

      But once they were in the yard, Rick was shocked by what he saw. All across the lawn, straggly uncut grass marked Cody’s wayward path. The lawn was going to have to be mowed again. Rick was annoyed. Didn’t Cody know better than this?

      Just before Rick laid into his son for doing such a shoddy job, a small memory pulled at him. It was a story that I had told about stepping into my son’s world to pull out his reality, seeing and feeling a situation the way he saw and felt it.

      Rick’s instinct was to push a good piece of his mind on Cody, but to his credit, he turned toward his son and chose to first pull out his reality. He tried his best to step into his son’s world, looking at the lawn through an eight-year-old’s eyes. What he saw through those eyes was a great job. He also got in touch with Cody’s need to feel approved and valued.

      “Good job, Cody,” he said, giving him a big hug.

      There would be plenty of future opportunities to coach Cody on the niceties of mowing. Rick’s split-second insight had transformed the possibility of alienation into the actuality of celebration.

       Harnessing the Power of Context

      WE’VE discovered that Pull Conversations have a logic to them. Blending inquiry and directness fosters feelings of respect and trust in others. This, in turn, calms them and increases their capacity to understand. Inquiry and directness are perfectly suited to get us to a Bigger Reality, and getting to a Bigger Reality tends to release intelligent energy in our environment.

      This chapter demonstrates the results that come from pulling out context. It highlights inquiry as the most effective attitude for uncovering the context we need.

       Putting Context into Context

       Understanding Produces Context

      One of the richest rewards of pulling out someone’s reality is context: the ability to see as a sensible whole what others see as disconnected parts. Context is a clear picture of the beliefs, values, and emotional needs that motivate another’s actions. And context is produced by understanding.

      For example, when Bill, as related in the previous chapter, pulled out the concerns and goals of the Atomic Energy Commission, he gained an understanding of their reality. This gave him context regarding how his concerns and theirs could be reconciled. He was then able to frame his message in a way that appealed to their interests. Context made him effective.

      Context is a critical ingredient of success in every area of life. It informs you in hundreds of ways about what actions and decisions will yield the best result as you deal with people. Whether you’re throwing someone a surprise party or negotiating a complex business deal, understanding the context of someone’s beliefs, values, and emotional needs enables you to choose the approach that will work best for them.

      When you interpret and anticipate others’ behaviors, you develop relational radar: the ability to detect what’s coming at you before it arrives. Relational radar tells you how to be appropriate in any situation.

      In Peak Performers, Charles Garfield tells a story that illustrates how intelligent energy is released through interpreting context accurately. He relates how a member of the New York consulting firm Inferential Focus spun four lines he read in the Wall Street Journal into great profits for his firm’s clients. According to these four lines, Saudi Arabia was making a major change in the shipping requirements for incoming goods. Their country had decided to reduce the size of the containers by 50% and were moving from inspecting 80% of them to inspecting all of them.

      “The consultant suspected fear of terrorism,” Garfield writes. “The Saudis were known to respond to fear by stashing their oil money in a safe place – gold. Inferential Focus told its clients to buy gold. Six weeks later, the value of the gold had doubled.”

       What Is Context?

      Context is the environment that surrounds or influences something. Think of a beautiful wall hanging, perhaps a rendition of the Last Supper. There is a specific black thread that makes up the pupil of Peter’s eye. The white and beige threads adjacent to the black thread are the environment that surround and influence it. The different components are woven together and make up the eye and, in a global sense, the whole picture.

      This is a particularly apt analogy, because context literally means to weave together (com = together; texere = to weave).