The Life of Trust. George Muller

the possession of this money, and her dress had never given me the least indication of an alteration in her circumstances. Before, however, accepting this money from her, I had a long conversation with her, in which I sought to probe her as to her motives, and in which I sought to ascertain whether, as I had feared, she might have given this money in the feeling of the moment, without having counted the cost. But I had not conversed long with this beloved sister, before I found that she was, in this particular, a quiet, calm, considerate follower of the Lord Jesus, and one who desired, in spite of what human reason might say, to act according to the words of our Lord, “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth.” “Sell that ye have, and give alms.” When I remonstrated with her, in order that I might see whether she had counted the cost, she said to me, “The Lord Jesus has given his last drop of blood for me, and should I not give him this hundred pounds?” She would also have me take five pounds for the poor saints in communion with us. I mention here particularly that this dear sister kept all these things to herself, and did them as much as possible in secret; and during her lifetime, I suppose, not six brethren and sisters among us knew that she had ever possessed four hundred and eighty pounds, or that she had given one hundred pounds towards the orphan house.

      I relate one instance more. August 4, 1836, seven months and a half after she had given the hundred pounds, she came one morning to me, and said: “Last evening I felt myself particularly stirred up to pray about the funds of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution; but whilst praying, I thought, what good is it for me to pray for means, if I do not give when I have the means, and I have therefore brought you this five pounds.” As I had reason to believe that, by this time, by far the greater part of her money was gone, I again had a good deal of conversation with her, to see whether she really did count the cost, and whether this donation also was given unto the Lord, or from momentary excitement, in which case it was better not to give the money. However, she was at this time also steadfast, grounded upon the word of God; and evidently constrained by the love of Christ; and all the effect my conversation had upon her was, that she said, “You must take five shillings in addition to the five pounds, as a proof that I give the five pounds cheerfully.” And thus she constrained me to take the five pounds and five shillings.—Four things are especially to be noticed about this beloved sister, with reference to all this period of her earthly pilgrimage: 1. She did all these things in secret, avoiding to the utmost all show about them, and thus proved that she did not desire the praise of man. 2. She remained, as before, of an humble and lowly mind, and she proved thus that she had done what she did unto the Lord, and not unto man. 3. Her dress remained, during all the time that she had this comparative abundance, the same as before. It was clean, yet as simple and as inexpensive as it was at the time when all her income consisted of three shillings and sixpence, or at most five shillings per week. There was not the least difference as to her lodging, dress, manner of life, etc. She remained in every way the poor handmaid of the Lord, as to all outward appearance. 4. But that which is as lovely as the rest, she continued working at her needle all this time. She earned her two shillings-sixpence, or three shillings, or a little more, a week, by her work, as before; whilst she gave away the money in sovereigns or five-pound notes. At last all her money was gone, and that some years before she fell asleep; and as her bodily health never had been good as long as I had known her, and was now much worse, she found herself peculiarly dependent upon the Lord, who never forsook her, up to the last moments of her earthly course. Her body became weaker and weaker, in consequence of which she was able to work very little, for many months before she died; but the Lord supplied her with all she needed, though she never asked for anything. For instance, a sister in communion With us sent her, for many months, all the bread she used. Her mouth was full of thanksgiving, even in the midst of the greatest bodily sufferings.

      December 20. A sister gave five pounds. December 21. A friend sent one pound. Weekly subscription of four shillings. December 22. A sister gave me one pound, and a friend sent two shillings and sixpence. December 23. A brother gave, this evening, a piece of blind line and a dozen of blind tassels. About ten in the evening, a gentleman brought me from an individual, whose name he was not to mention, four pounds, of which I was allowed to take two pounds for the orphan house, and to give the other two pounds to poor believers. December 31. This evening we had a special meeting for prayer and praise. There have been received into the church, during the past year, 59. There are men in communion with us, 95. I have received for my temporal wants, in freewill offerings, presents, etc., £285 1s. 1¼d.