(4.) Wouldst thou know whether Jesus Christ is thine Advocate, whether he has taken in hand to plead thy cause? Then, I ask, dost thou, together with what has been mentioned before, wait upon him according to his counsel, until things shall come to a legal issue? Thus must clients do. There is a great many turnings and windings about suits and trials at law; the enemy, also, with his supersedeas15 cavils, and motions, often defers a speedy issue; wherefore, the man whose is the concern must wait; as the prophet said, "I will look," said he, "unto the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation." But how long, prophet, wilt thou wait? Why, says he, "until he plead my cause, and execute judgment for me" (Micah 7:7–10).
Perhaps when thy cause is tried, things for the present are upon this issue; thy adversary, indeed, is cast, but whether thou shalt have an absolute discharge, as Peter had, or a conditional one, as David, and as the Corinthians had, that is the question (II Sam 12:10–14). True, thou shalt be completely saved at last; but yet whether it is not best to leave to thee a memento of God's displeasure against thy sin, by awarding that the sword shall never depart from thy house, or that some sore sickness or other distresses shall haunt thee as long as thou livest, or, perhaps, that thou shalt walk without the light of God's countenance for several years and a day. Now, if any of these three things happen unto thee, thou must exercise patience, and wait; thus did David-"I waited patiently"; and again he exercises his soul in this virtue, saying "My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him" (Psa 62:5). For now we are judged of the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world. And by this judgment, though it sets us free from their damnation, yet we are involved in many troubles, and, perhaps, must wait many a day before we can know that, as to the main, the verdict hath gone on our side. Thus, therefore, in order to thy waiting upon him without fainting, it is meet that thou shouldest know the methods of him that manages thy cause for thee in heaven; and suffer not mistrust to break in and bear sway in thy soul, for "he will" at length "bring thee forth to the light, and thou shalt behold his righteousness. She, also, that is thine enemy shall see it, and shame shall cover her which saith unto thee, Where is the Lord thy God?" (Micah 7: 9–10).
Question. But what is it to wait upon him according to his counsel?
Answer. (a.) To wait is to be of good courage, to live in expectation, and to look for deliverance, though thou hast sinned against thy God. "Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart; wait, I say, on the Lord" (Psa 27:14).
(b.) To wait upon him is to keep his way, to walk humbly in his appointments. "Wait on the Lord, and keep his way, and he shall exalt thee to inherit the land" (Psa 37:34).
(c.) To wait upon him is to observe and keep those directions which he giveth thee; to observe even while he stands up to plead thy cause; for without this, or not doing this, a man may mar his cause in the hand of him that is to plead it; wherefore, keep thee far from an evil matter, have no correspondence with thine enemy, walk humbly for the wickedness thou hast committed, and loathe and abhor thyself for it, in dust and ashes. To these things doth the Scripture everywhere direct us.
(d.) To wait, is also to incline, to hearken to those further directions which thou mayest receive from the mouth of thine advocate, as to any fresh matters that may forward and expedite a good issue of thine affair in the court of heaven. The want of this was the reason that the deliverance of Israel did linger so long in former times. "O," says he, "that my people had hearkened unto me, and Israel had walked in my ways! I should soon have subdued their enemies, and turned my hand against their adversaries. The haters of the Lord should have submitted themselves unto him; but their time should have endured for ever" (Psa 81:13–15).
(e.) Also, if it tarry long, wait for it. Do not conclude that thy cause is lost because at present thou dost not hear from court. Cry, if thou wilt, O, when wilt thou come unto me? But never let such a wicked thought pass through thy heart, saying, "This evil is of the Lord; what should I wait for the Lord any longer?" (II Kings 6:33).
(f.) But take heed that thou turnest not thy waiting into sleeping. Wait thou must, and wait patiently too; but yet wait with much longing and earnestness of spirit, to see or hear how matters go above. You may observe, that when a man that dwells far down in the country, and has some business at the term, in this or another of the king's courts, though he will wait his lawyer's time and convenience, yet he will so wait as still to inquire at the post house, or at the carrier's, or if a neighbour comes down from term, at his mouth, for letters, or any other intelligence, if possibly he may arrive to know how his cause speeds, and whether his adversary, or he, has the day. Thus, I say, thou must wait upon thine Advocate. His ordinances are his post house, his ministers are his carriers, where tidings from heaven are to be had, and where those that are sued in that court by the devil may, at one time or another, hear from their lawyer, their advocate, how things are like to go. Wherefore, I say, wait at the posts of wisdom's house, go to ordinances with expectation to hear from thy Advocate there; for he will send in due time; "though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry" (Hab 2:1–3). And now, soul, I have answered thy request, and let me hear what thou sayest unto me.
Soul.-Truly, says the soul, methinks that by what you have said, I may have this blessed Jesus to be mine Advocate; for I think, verily, I have entertained him to be mine Advocate. I have also revealed my cause unto him, yea, committed both it and myself unto him; and, as you say, I wait; oh! I wait! and my eyes fail with looking upward. Fain would I hear how my soul standeth in the sight of God, and whether my sins, which I have committed since light and grace were given unto me, be by mine Advocate, taken out of the hand of the devil, and by mine Advocate removed as far from me as the ends of the earth are asunder; whether the verdict has gone on my side, and what a shout there was among the angels when they saw it went well with me! But alas! I have waited, and that a long time, and have, as you advise, run from ordinance to minister, and from minister to ordinance, or, as you phrase it, from the post to the carrier, and from the carrier to the post house, to see if I could hear aught from heaven how matters went about my soul there. I have also asked those that pass by the way, "if they saw him whom my soul loveth," and if they had anything to communicate to me? But nothing can I get or find but generals; as, that I have an Advocate there, and that he pleadeth the cause of his people, and that he will thoroughly plead their cause. But what he has done for ME, of that as yet I am ignorant. I doubt if my soul shall by him be effectually secured, that yet a conditional verdict will be awarded concerning me, and that much bitter will be mixed with my sweet, and that I must drink gall and wormwood for my folly; for if David, and Asa, and Hezekiah and such good men, were so served for their sins, (II Chron 16:7,12), why should I look for other dealing at the hand of God? But as to this, I will endeavour to "bear the indignation of the Lord, because I have sinned against him," (Micah 7:9), and shall count it an infinite mercy, if this judgment comes to me from him, that I may "not be condemned with the world" (I Cor 11:32). I know it is dreadful walking in darkness; but if that also shall be the Lord's lot upon me; I pray God I may have faith enough to stay upon him till death, and then will the clouds blow over, and I shall see him in the light of the living.
Mine, enemy, the devil, as you see, is of an inveigling temper; and though he has accused my before the judgment-seat of God, yet when he comes to me at any time, he glavers16 and flatters as if he never did mean me harm; but I think it is that he might get further advantage against me. But I carry it now at a greater distance than formerly; and O that I was at the remotest distance, not only from him, but also from that self of mine, that laboureth with him for my undoing!
But although I say these things now, and to you, yet I have my solitary hours, and in them I have other strange thoughts; for thus I think, my cause is bad, I have sinned, and I have been vile. I am ashamed myself of mine own doings, and have given mine enemy the best end of the staff. The law, and reason, and my conscience, plead for him against me, and all is true; he puts into his charge against me, that I have sinned more times than there be hairs on my head.