– Kuhle, ngiyavuma.
– Kulungile. i-sergeant yajabula futhi yahola uKlop waya endlini yangasese. – i-rag, ufulawa lapho, ngaphansi kwesiinki. Futhi ezobuchwepheshe engizitholayo. Inkinga, hahaha.
– Futhi liphi ibhakede nephepha lasendlini yangasese?
– Hlambulula isigaxa esinki, bese usula imbongolo yakho ngomunwe. – i-sergeant ibinephutha.
– Kunjani? – umangele uKlop.
– Ufunda kanjani, ngokuyisisekelo ngine-sandpaper, engingayinikeza, futhi ngephepha elisobala sinengcindezi eningi. Inkinga ezweni. Ngaphezu kwalokho, singabasebenzi bakahulumeni.
U-Ottila wamunca ebusweni futhi, ethatha iphepha elalihlongoziwe, wakhwela ethoyilethi. Kube nokudonswa okukhulu, uPent uphenduke aphumele ngaphandle, avale okuthunyelwe. Futhi u-Ottila uphumule, wabuka phakathi kwemilenze yakhe futhi wabuthelela ubuso bakhe. Akugcinanga lapho ukunuka kwamehlo amuncu, kepha wonke amabhulukwe angaphandle aboshwe ngombala omncane, omubi ngombala, owomile onukayo. Akubanga namibuzo ethoyilethi. Ngisho namaconsi esifo sohudo afakwe odongeni.
U-Incephalopath umi kule kholamu futhi, ebona ispaki esishiya lo msebenzi, washeshe weza kuye.
– Sawubona! Apchi, «emoyizela.
– Yini, ulindeni umzukulu? UPenth ebuza ngokweqile.
– Uyini umzukulu? U-Apchi, – u-Arutun Karapetovich oyisiphukuphuku.
– Yini ongakhela yona lapha? Noma ungumphelelisi wakho? Ngabe uhlelani, nina zisebenzi zezivakashi?
– Ubani? Apchi, «uHarutun wayesaba.
– Yini oyakha isiwula? Ubungani bakho bufunwa federal. Ngabe unaye
– Ah? i-apchi, – ishunqe izihlathi zayo nge-Incephalopath. – cha. Angimazi nhlobo. Isikhathi sokuqala ngibona.
– Manje umpheleliselani? Stab, malume. – Kungazelelwe isigaxa sikhonkotha. UHarutun wadonsela emuva. -Ukuhlanganisele wena, okwakho, nokwakho?
– Ah, apchi, ngiyamazi, kepha kubi kakhulu, futhi ngibonga umkakhe kuphela.
– Yini? – UPent wamamatheka.
– Ngilala nonkosikazi wakhe! – Kuqinisekisile uHarutun. Iserinant grinned futhi yahamba yaya kudubula amaphepha obhiya.
– Futhi izokhishwa nini? – kuzwakale endlini yokungena.
– Ukuthi indlu yangasese isekhaya kanjani futhi impendulo izofika. Ngakho-ke izinsuku ezintathu ngiba nelungelo lokumbiza.
– Ngingamsiza? – uphakamise uHarutun kuyo yonke indawo yokwamukela izivakashi.
– Hlanza indlu yangasese?
– Yebo, ukukhishwa ngokushesha.
– Cha, akufanele.
UHarutun wehlise ikhanda lakhe ngokudabukisayo: UMdaa… wafika lapho akukho mali futhi wehliselwa uKlop.
– Unayo imali? – Umuntu ubekade ehleba ngqo kuyi-auricle ukuya ezinkampanini. Wathuthumela umzimba wakhe wonke waphenduka. Ngemuva kwakhe kwakumi isigaxa esinamafutha egqoke umfaniswano wamaphoyisa futhi ehlafuna ibhulukwe elinzima.
– Nnnet.
– Kungani? Om yum yum.
– Nemali, i-apchi, – uHarutun wadideka ngemicabango, welula umunwe wakhe we-index, efuna abafundi, wakhomba emnyango weposi. – Futhi imali yami, i-apchi, chef, lapho, monkeyclip evela eKlop.
– Yini isiphazamiso? Ingabe lesi isidlaliso?
– Cha, igama lakhe lokugcina, u-apchi, waboshwa kuze kwaziwa ukuthi ungubani.
– Ahhh! Om yum yum., Ngakho-ke ake sihambe, uthathe imali kuye, njengokungathi unginika wena, futhi unginike.
– Ahhh. Unayo, i-apchi, ikhadi.
– Uxolo. – Futhi iphoyisa lithathe umhlalaphansi ekujuleni kwesibalo.
Ngemuva kwesonto, uBedbug wakhululwa esiteshini samaphoyisa sama-78. Leli kwakuyigatsha lesihlanu ngokulandelana, kuqala ngamaphoyisa esiteshini nayo yonke indawo lapho ayegeza khona amathoyilethi. Akekho phambi kwakhe owavuma lokhu. Futhi kwadingeka asuse ukungcola konyaka.
UHarutun wayekhathele ukumlinda esiteshini isonto lonke, kwakukuhle ehlobo. Uxhumane nembongi yendawo nabangenamakhaya. Izingubo zakhe zaphenduka insangu. Ubuso bakhe obuvuvukala buvela eqhweni – umhlinzeki wokuhlanza izingilazi ze-ethanol ezidakwe ngabangenamakhaya nokunye – uphenduke ubomvu njengembongolo kantshontsho. Amehlo akhe agcwala izinyembezi, hhayi usizi kuphela, kodwa futhi nesicabha esibi. Bekade ehleli phasi kwesiteshi seMosro Metro. Isigqoko sakhe sasibheke phansi sibekwe phansi. Umuntu wayekwazi ukubona udimu kulo: inhlamvu eyodwa, ezinhlanu nezinhlamvu eziyishumi. Wahlala emadolweni akhe wakhala kancane. UFingals wavele waphuthelwa izinyembezi.
– IHarutun? Amamatheke u-Ottila, «unendaba unjani?»
– Ah? U-Apchi, – ophethe waphakamisa amehlo akhe kancane.
– Sukuma, uhleli lapha? – Isiphazamisi saqhamuka saphakamisa isigqoko sayo.
– Ungathinti, apchi. – UHarutun wamemeza ngokweqile wabamba isigqoko sakhe. Into encane yagxumela phansi emabhulini phansi yakhala. Ukukhala bekuzwakala ngabantu abangenakhaya ababemi eduze. Babukeka behle futhi bebancane.
– Sawubona ntwana, kuhle, hlukana nosizi. – kumemeza omunye wabo
– Ungamkhathazi ukuthola isinkwa, i-schmuck. – wethuka owesibili.
– Vali, Vali. – wasekela owesithathu, – esaphila.
– Uyangitshela bantu abasha? – Umphenyi wasendaweni uKeneral Klop wavula amehlo akhe ngokumangala.
– ? Yebo, lokhu akuyona ingane nakancane.
– Ngabe mncane?!
– Yebo, kanye neNegro. Heh. – Futhi baqala ukusondela kwi-Bedbug.
«Ikhabethe,» uHarutun wamamatheka, eguqa. – abaleke, umphathi. Ngizokubambezela. Ngokufanayo, bake bangishaya futhi bangenza ngacela.
– Hhayi ssy, ngizobachazela eSarakabalatanayaksoyodbski ukuthi awukwazi ukucasula abantu abadala. U-Ottila waphendula ngokuzethemba futhi wagoqa imikhono yakhe.
– Hhawu, Zyoma, wanquma ukugijimela kithina, – e-bastard, enempilo kakhulu kubo ne-bald.
– Grey, idonsele ebhakedeni. – asekelwa amancanyana nangama-tattoos, akhomba i-urn.
– Ngithi khonokho, yehlisa umoya abantu abasha, ngikuxwayisa okokugcina. – Kubuza uKlop ngomusa, ebheka emehlweni ophilile. Wayithatha ngebhulashi lakhe elikhulu ngekhola futhi, wayiphakamisa, wayiletha emehlweni akhe. Wamamatheka ehidno futhi wamoyizela kakhulu. Wavula amehlo akhe, kwaba sengathi uyaqunjelwa futhi wakhulisa umlomo wakhe, kwaba sengathi ufuna ukufaka isibabule sika-Ilyich emlonyeni wakhe. U-goon wakhulula ibhulashi futhi wagoba, wabamba isigaxa sakhe ngezandla zombili.
– Ahhhhh!!!! – waminza wonke umuntu nxazonke.
U-Ottila wafika ngezinyawo zakhe, kwathi lapho eguqile, washaya amabhola okwesibili, kodwa ngenqindi.
Washaya isibhamu ngenqindi umzuzu owodwa, ngokushesha kangangokuba bekunzima ukuhlukanisa izandla zakhe, kwathi ekugcineni, washaya isithende ku-aphula ka-Adamu nge-heel gxuma. I-redneck yehla kancane yawa ngaphambili futhi yawa phansi emabeleni ngebunzi lakhe, yachitha konke okunamathela kuye. U-Ottila ushaye eceleni, waphuthelwa ukuwa. Amakhaya akhe ashaywa umoya. Futhi ngokuvamile, ukushintshwa kwahlanzwa yizo zonke izinhlobo zama-freeloaders – izidakwa.
Wasukuma u-Ancephalopath, encike ehlombe lompheki.
– Ngiyabonga, apchi, mlondeli. Bengicabanga ukuthi, apchi, ngizofela lapha.
– Ngabe ufike kanjani kulokhu? Bangivalele isonto lonke? Futhi usuvele washona kanjalo.
«Futhi yena?!» UHarutun wacabanga, kodwa akazange asho lutho. U-Ottila waphinde wabheka