My face flushed, and I admit I felt something. How could I not? The times Lewis and I had been together had been electric.
“I was hoping I could change your mind,” Lewis said, running the pad of his thumb over my inner wrist.
I pulled my hand away while returning Lewis’s smile. “Oh, no you don’t. You’re not going to charm the pants off of me.”
“No?”
“No.”
Lewis reached for my hand again. Lifted it. Pressed his lips to the inside of my wrist. “Well, I’m going to have fun trying.”
I felt another tingle then. Lust. I reached for my glass of water and took a sip.
“You want it, too,” he said with his trademark confidence that had always turned me on. “You know you do.”
I stared at him, checking out his handsome face. Could I fall into bed with Lewis? Sure. Could I fall into bed with Lewis as a way to try and forget about Chaz? Absolutely. It was the kind of thing I would have done in the past.
Lewis was guaranteed to perform in the bedroom, and he knew exactly how to please me.
But I couldn’t—and wouldn’t—sleep with him while Chaz was still in my heart. Not until I’d made the definite decision to put Chaz behind me and move on.
“What I want,” I began slowly and smiling sweetly, “is to wait until we’re married.”
“Are you sure about that?” Lewis challenged.
“Yes, I’m sure. It’ll be easy for us to fall into bed together, but—”
“And fun,” Lewis supplied. “A lot of fun.”
I flashed a mock-scowl his way. “But,” I continued, picking up my point where I’d left off, “if we wait until we’re married, then I’ll know for sure that your heart is in the right place.”
“You still don’t believe me?”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you,” I quickly went on. “But come on, Lewis. You know me and you when it comes to sex.”
Lewis wriggled his eyebrows. “How could I forget?”
“My whole point about waiting until we’re married—instead of falling into bed together—is that we’ll both know that we’re getting married for the right reasons.” I took a moment to let my words settle over Lewis. “Our sexual chemistry was never the problem. But a marriage has to be based on more than that.”
Lewis nodded slowly, his lips pulling downward in a small frown. I knew he didn’t like my position, but like the last time when we’d discussed this, he seemed to accept my terms without a fuss.
Two women in barely there bikinis strolled by the table. I watched Lewis, waiting to see his gaze follow the women as they passed.
Instead, he raised my hand to his mouth and kissed it. “You’re worth the wait.”
My lips spread in a genuine grin. Ever since proposing to me, Lewis continued to surprise me. I expected him to get frustrated with me over my no-sex requirement, but he continued to be patient. I expected the player I’d known to react to the beautiful women who flirted with him, or at least check out the eye candy. But he wasn’t doing that, at least not in front of me.
Instead, Lewis gave me more and more reason to believe that he really did want to marry me for all the right reasons. And more so, that he really was in love with me.
Heck, he’d remembered my favorite wine, white zinfandel, something he hadn’t done before.
Maybe this marriage thing to Lewis was going to work out just fine. Maybe, like I’d tried to convince myself, marriages built on a mutual friendship and respect were the ones that went the distance. It wasn’t necessary for my heart to be overflowing with love for Lewis in order for us to have a good life together.
As long as he would be faithful to me, treat me with respect, be a good father to my daughter, that was all I could want.
Then why was it, I thought as I raised my wineglass to my lips once more, that I couldn’t help wishing that it was Chaz sitting across from me?
6
“So?” Carla asked when I got to the door after my dinner with Lewis. “How did it go?”
“It was nice,” I replied.
“Nice?”
“Nice dinner. Nice ambiance. Good company.”
Carla raised an eyebrow. “Are you still engaged?”
I strolled into the apartment, sighing as I did. “I guess so.”
“You guess so?”
“Yes,” I said. Then with more conviction, “Yes, I am.”
“Vanessa.” Carla frowned. “I thought you were going to tell him that you don’t want to marry him.”
“I was?”
“That’s what you told me last week, remember? Over a bottle of wine as you were crying about the fact that you weren’t in love with Lewis.”
“Vaguely.”
“Vaguely?” Carla asked, her voice full of skepticism.
“I remember,” I said as I plopped myself down on the sofa. “Of course I remember.” I’d been extremely confused that night, pining over Chaz, but knowing that I needed Lewis to help me fight Tassie. “Well, I’ve changed my mind.”
“Now you do want to marry him?”
“Where’s Rayna?” I asked.
“She and Amani are snuggled under the covers on my bed. They’re engrossed in that Barbie Island Princess movie. But don’t change the subject. Have you really changed your mind about Lewis?”
“You should have seen him tonight, Carla. He ignored every woman who tried to flirt with him. Every single one. He even showed me this note our waitress had slipped him when she gave us the bill. The skank had the nerve to give him her phone number! Even though he was clearly with me.”
“That’s the way women are,” Carla said sourly. “A man’s more attractive when he belongs to someone else.”
“Lewis ripped up the number right in front of my face. The old Lewis never would have done that.”
“Score one for Lewis. But—”
“And he’s going with me to that meeting with Tassie and her lawyer I told you about when I called you earlier. He’s going to bring a cashier’s check, which I think Tassie will happily accept.”
“Again, that’s nice—”
“And he’s putting me in touch with a lawyer tomorrow. One who can represent me during the meeting. It’ll be totally foolish for me to go without one.”
“Definitely smart.”
“And he’s also going to help me find an investigator, because I need to dig up some dirt on Tassie before the meeting. Hopefully, if all goes well, Tassie will be out of my life forever after next week.”
Carla crossed her fingers. “Let’s hope.”
“Yes. Let’s hope.”
“Any other wonderful things to tell me about Lewis?” Carla asked.
“No. That’s about it.”
“Then can I give you my opinion?”
“Of course.” I pulled my legs up onto the sofa with me and stared at my friend.
“Everything