This book is packed with practical tips, suggestions, recipes and more to enhance your current existence – all inspired by the unique, beautiful and magical little islands that are Japan. Just think of the ingredients we used to have to ship over (at great expense), which can now be readily purchased at many local supermarkets; and the intricate bento boxes (painstakingly made for me by my mother), which are now fairly commonplace. These and so many other things are at our disposal now, and by using them, along with making tiny, incremental changes, you will learn how to establish new routines and habits to enrich and complement your lifestyle and wellbeing. This proverb pretty much sums up the thinking that underpins this book. It’s through small, iterative steps, rather than the big reveal, that we can make the most significant changes. So take things one step at a time. Many of the arts and practices you will read about, like ikebana (see here) and tea ceremony (see here) take decades to grasp and perfect. Several of my family members have sacrificed countless hours in following and, ultimately, mastering their chosen pursuits, but while I’ve dipped my toe into many of them, I am by no means an expert. Nor am I a historian or an academic. But through all of them, I have learned something about myself along the way – and that is what I want to share here. Because if I can do it, then so can you. The hobbies, activities and practices you will read about will all help to create change; change – and this is key – that is realistic, practical, affordable and, hopefully, fun, too.
The characters of my last name – Niimi 新美 – mean ‘new’ and ‘beautiful’. My hope is that, through this little book, I will live up to it, introducing you to new and beautiful Japanese philosophies, practices and tips to bring just a little bit more mindfulness, contentment and happiness into your life.
© Nassima Rothacker
In Japanese, there are three words to describe the heart. The first is shinzou, the physical organ that beats within us all, and keeps us alive. (If a Japanese person tells you that their shinzou hurts, they’re not speaking metaphorically – get them to a doctor, pronto.) The second is ha-to, the shape of a love heart – the kind that you can’t escape until late February, once Valentine’s Day has passed. The third is kokoro.
Heart, mind and soul are inextricably linked in the word kokoro. The nearest English equivalent might be conscience; it’s a mentality or a feeling and it describes the emotions and desires inside all of us.
Nurturing your kokoro is where mindfulness begins, and this applies to every aspect of your life. I’ve been guilty of prioritising some areas at the expense of others, certainly in my working life. Getting burned out, being terrified of failure, or change, is something that I’ve struggled with before. But the most important thing I’ve learned on my journey so far is that failure is inevitable. This realisation has been one of the most liberating of all.
In Part One, I share different outlooks, philosophies and ways of thinking. Whether it’s accepting the imperfect, seeing the beauty in things that are broken or finding your motivation, taking the time to care for yourself in more ways than one (paying attention to mental health, as well as physical) will put things in perspective, help you to find joy and enable you to live a fuller, richer, happier life.
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Shortly after my grandfather died, I took my first job out of university in a field I wasn’t passionate about. I had moved to London, a city where I didn’t know many people, and I lived with a partner who worked so much that they were mostly absent. During this period, I felt lost and adrift.
So I took my camera, and started to document my life in London – the food I ate, what I had enjoyed about my day and things that had made me feel happy at a time when I mostly wasn’t. It was starting my blog, following what made me feel good and sharing that part of myself that nourished me and helped me grow.
So first, let’s take a look at ways to find your ikigai, or purpose – the thing that drives you and makes you get out of bed in the morning. We’ll then look at wabi-sabi – accepting the nature of impermanence and transience and embracing the presence of chaos in life – before, finally, finding the beauty in the broken, through the art of kintsugi.
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Ikigai is that thing in our lives that provides a delicious richness – it’s what gives life its meaning or, as the French might say, its raison d’être. There is a fire within us all; it may burn brighter in some than in others, and it may waver, but it can also return stronger, hotter and more powerful than ever, and it takes different things to stoke the flames for each of us.
According to a report in 2017 from the World Health Organization, Japan still leads the way for the longest and healthiest life expectancy globally, as it has done for many years.1 There are, of course, several factors at play. Genetics, diet, lifestyle and an excellent healthcare system can account for most of it. If you ask a Japanese person, though, they would most likely attribute this trend for longevity to a strong work ethic and a certain frame of mind. Many societies can claim to have healthy diets and lifestyles, but the concept of ikigai, or purpose, is a key differentiator, and unique to Japanese culture.
After many false starts, my jiji (grandfather) finally retired at the age of seventy-three. My whole family, a little naively, assumed this meant we would see more of him during the week. For my jiji, though, enjoying his retirement still meant sitting on several boards as a director, giving advice, putting on a suit and having business meetings most days. He loved his work – he used to claim that he did it in order to keep his brain active. For him, his working life was what drove and motivated him – he took a lot of pride in it, and in how he was able to provide for his family