Confucius advocated a doctrine of practical common sense which attempted to create order and harmony in the society of his era. His sayings stayed close to home and wrestled with human life and human problems. In short, he was not a prophet but China’s first educator and foremost sociologist. Confucianism was welcomed by dynastic rulers throughout China’s long history because it viewed the state as a big family headed by the emperor, who was like a benevolent father, constantly devoted to his people’s welfare. Confucius taught that all territory and all citizens belonged to the sovereign, whose right to rule was given by the Mandate of Heaven. Though the emperor’s power was absolute, he was to rule by moral example and not by force. A ruler who failed to live up to the Mandate of Heaven because of personal amorality and corruption should abdicate in favour of a virtuous man; if necessary he should be overthrown by revolution.
Confucius listed five cardinal relationships in society: between ruler and minister; father and son; husband and wife; older brother and younger brother; friend and friend. Of these, only the relationship between friends is equal.
As a corollary of the five cardinal human relationships, he expounded the doctrine of social status, giving every person his ‘proper place’ in society. The term li
In the 1940s, during my early childhood, Tianjin was ruled by the Japanese and the French. Although my grandfather loathed these foreigners, he was always respectful and law-abiding towards them. Once he prevented a youthful employee from sticking nails into the tyre of a Japanese army officer’s car. ‘It is Heaven’s will that we are governed by these loathsome creatures,’ he said. ‘We must accept our fate and adapt. When the right time comes, a new ruler will arrive.’ This type of Confucian logic probably explains why an enormous country like China could be dominated by handfuls of westerners for over 100 years. When Japan lost the Second World War, my grandfather treated officials from Chiang Kai-shek’s government with the same obedience. Later on, in Hong Kong, he was equally deferential to the British colonialists.
Another important Chinese term is min fen
I never cared for my sister Lydia. As the oldest of seven children in our family, she was known to us as Da Jie
After a long separation we met each other again. By then, a reversal of fortune had taken place. I was no longer the despised little sister whom she could bully at will but a successful physician practising in America. She, meanwhile, had been stuck in a loveless marriage in Communist China for thirty years. Although I was shocked by her downtrodden appearance and humble demeanour, all the familiar emotions of respect and fear re-emerged as soon as she uttered my childhood name, Wu Mei
The word xiao has no true equivalent in the English language. Confucius considered xiao, or filial piety, to be life’s most important virtue and the origin of Chinese culture. In the Classic of Filial Piety he said, ‘The jun zi (ideal person) teaches filial piety so that man may respect all the fathers in the world. He teaches brotherliness so that younger brothers may respect older brothers in the world. He teaches duty to the subject so that subjects will respect all who are rulers in the world.’ Morality and li (etiquette) in the family, he hoped, would be disseminated outside the family to become the foundation for morality and li in general so that people might live together in peace and harmony: ‘Peace in the state begins with order in the family … The people who love and respect their parents would never dare show hatred and disrespect to others.’
As my grandmother told my father that night in Tianjin,
The body and hair and skin are received from the parents and may not be injured: this is the beginning of filial piety. To do the right thing and walk according to the right morals, thus leaving a good name in posterity, in order to glorify one’s ancestors, this is the culmination of filial piety. Filial piety begins with serving one’s parents, leads to serving one’s king and ends in establishing one’s character.
A person could not be good to anyone else unless he was first good to his parents. Family was the bridge between the individual and society. A family should be held together not only by blood, property and shared responsibilities; but also by common ideals such as love of virtue and honour as well as earthly goals such as wealth, success, longevity, many sons and happiness.
My grandfather once showed me a schoolbook from his own childhood in the 1880s. He told me that it had been written during the Song dynasty (960–1271); the same text had been taught to Chinese children for over 750 years. The author had adapted the teachings of Confucius specially for children and mapped out a life plan for them based on filial piety.
When my siblings and I were growing up in China, we younger generation invariably treated our elders with deference. Age was honoured to such a degree that it was not unusual for my grandfather and his generation to add a few years to their chronological age when asked. At Chinese New Year my brothers and I used to kneel before our parents to wish them happiness and longevity. We continued to do so even after our graduation from British universities. This