Anthony and Nicky both burst out laughing as my cheeks reddened. ‘Absolutely not!’ I said. Paul waggled his finger in my face. ‘Lindsey Fell,’ he mocked, ‘I think you’re lying. You have not told the truth, so it is within my powers to make you do a dare.’ I made a face that was meant to look completely unconcerned as he continued: ‘As you lied so disgracefully about the fact that you are desperate to get your hands on me, I have to make the punishment fit the crime.’ He was really getting into this now. ‘So – I dare you to give Paul Hunter the best snog he has ever had in his life, and ignore Anthony and Nicky if they try to stop you.’
I was sitting beside Paul on the sofa while he made his announcement, so I wiggled a bit closer. I knew that I was going to do it, and I was looking forward to the look on everyone’s faces afterwards. As I moved closer to him, Paul took my hand and leaned in towards me, kissing me first. Given that it was my dare, he was putting in a lot of the work. We both got into it pretty quickly, while Nicky and Anthony shouted in the background: ‘You two can stop any minute, you know. Don’t feel obliged to keep going. Give your tongues a rest!’ It was all a laugh and nothing serious, but it did change things to the extent that we both knew there hadn’t been any hardship in kissing each other; in fact, it was just wonderful.
The rest of the night was pretty unremarkable. Paul and Anthony gave each other drinking dares while Nicky and I giggled about what had just happened. Nicky and Anthony were staying over at Paul’s that night, so I ordered a taxi to pick me up. As I left, Nicky gave me a cuddle but I was a bit disappointed that Paul didn’t say anything else. However, just as I got into the cab he flew out of his front door. I rolled my window down. ‘Here, Lindsey,’ he said, ‘I just wanted to let you know if you ever fancy another game of truth or dare, well – I’m your man.’ He gave me a wink and went back inside, leaving me thinking nice thoughts about him all the way home.
I didn’t see Paul for about a week or so after that, and it gave me time to think. I realized that I did find him cheeky but so lovely with it that I couldn’t help but like him. I kept asking Nicky what was going on between Paul and Gemma, but it obviously made her a bit uncomfortable. ‘Look, Lindsey,’ she said one day, ‘I know that you and Paul get on really well, and I know you like each other, but he’s still with Gemma. They’ve been together for so long that they’re pretty much an established couple. There’s nothing I’d like better than for you two to start going out together, but I don’t think it’ll happen, not while Gemma’s around.’
While the penny dropped for me and I had to admit that I was interested in him, Paul was still committed to another girl. Every now and again, when he was on a break from her, we’d go for a meal, or into a club in town, usually with other people, and we almost always ended up having a kiss at the end of the night. After about six weeks of this, I felt as though we were getting closer, but I realized that he was still seeing Gemma. I’d never even spoken to the girl, other than to say ‘hiya’ if she was in our crowd, but I did spend a lot of time thinking about her.
My relationship with Dave had been very straightforward: we liked each other, we went out with each other, and we were nice to each other. I knew that I was naive and a bit old-fashioned, but I thought that partners should be faithful to each other. Every time Paul and I kissed, I felt a twinge of discomfort because I knew he would probably soon be going back to Gemma.
One night, we were in his car after a meal out. I’d taken my car too, so it was quite clear that I wasn’t angling to get a lift home; we were there for a bit of a kiss and cuddle as usual. After he’d been kissing me for what seemed like hours, and I’d been warding off his wandering hands for just about the same amount of time, Paul suddenly pulled away from me. ‘Lindsey Fell,’ he said, looking into my eyes, ‘I can’t decide whether to think of you as the world’s biggest tease, or as a challenge.’ In the life he led on the snooker circuit, he was used to women just falling into bed with him straight away. There were always girls hanging around the tournaments and snooker halls – snooker groupies really – and Paul wasn’t shy about the fact that he had an eye for the ladies.
He always met a girl, slept with her on the first night, and that was it. Meanwhile, I’d only ever slept with Dave and we’d been together for six years! ‘Well, Paul,’ I told him, ‘maybe you shouldn’t think of me as either of those. Maybe you should just get it into your head that not all girls throw their knickers away on the first date!’
‘First date? First date?’ he screeched, with the usual twinkle in his eyes. ‘It’s been going on a lot bloody longer than a first date, Linz!’ I don’t think that Paul ever understood that for me to consider sleeping with a second person was a big deal. I’d always thought I’d be with Dave forever. It was actually quite unsettling for me to think I’d ever have to have sex with someone else. ‘You are kidding, Lindsey,’ he said. ‘You’re actually saying “no”? And meaning it?’ He seemed shocked that I wouldn’t have sex with him, but I was just as shocked that some girls would sleep with boys who weren’t even their proper boyfriends. We were complete opposites there.
‘Yes, I mean it,’ I told him. ‘And there’s something else I want to talk about.’ He got that uncomfortable look in his eye that blokes always seem to get when girls say they want to talk about things. ‘Gemma. What’s going on there, Paul? I want to know where I stand. Is she your girlfriend or am I?’
Paul actually looked a bit flustered for a moment. I’d assumed that he was almost doing it deliberately – stringing two girls along at the same time – but he claimed otherwise. ‘It’s not as clear cut as you think, Lindsey,’ he said. ‘I don’t think it’s clear cut at all, Paul,’ I told him. ‘I think it’s very messy and I’m not happy with it.’
He pulled away from me and sat back in the driver’s seat. ‘I wouldn’t choose for things to be like this,’ he answered. ‘It’s just that Gemma and I, we have a history together. She’s been my girlfriend since school – you know I left at 14, Lindsey; she was my only bit of reality sometimes when I came back from tournaments. She was just a girl who’d been to school with me and, if I’d been here all the time and having a normal life, we probably would have had a normal relationship. But something’s gone odd – we spend all our time rowing.’
‘So? Make a decision, Paul,’ I said. ‘This hasn’t really got anything to do with snooker, has it? You just need to decide whether you want her or me, and then act on it.’
‘There’s more to it than that,’ he replied. ‘She really loves me. We go back a long way. I don’t like to hurt her.’
‘But you’re happy to hurt me instead?’
‘Of course not. But you’re so different. You’re independent and you don’t run after me.’ He moved over to give me another kiss. ‘If we fell out, you’d just drive off on your own, wouldn’t you?’
‘Too right I would,’ I said. ‘And don’t think your little speech is going to get me into bed either,’ I joked, although secretly I was falling for him big time and was considering whether to take it a stage further. That night ended like lots of other nights – we had a bit more kissing and cuddling, Paul tried to move it on, and I eventually left to drive home alone to my mum and dad’s house.
This went on for another few weeks until one day in the late summer of 1997 Nicky asked if I would like to go on a last-minute holiday with her and her mum. I jumped at the chance – a week on a Spanish beach sounded perfect to me. We could sunbathe all day and enjoy ourselves all night. I told her I’d love to go and she set about making the arrangements.
Only a couple of days after she’d first discussed it, Nicky had the holiday booked. She never wasted any time once she got something into her head. I went round to her house one night after work so we could start packing and get ourselves organized.
‘Here,’ said Nicky, as we wrote out our lists, ‘I’ve got something to tell you.’ She had her back to me as she said it so I couldn’t read her face. ‘Our Paul’s decided that he’s coming too – maybe you’ll finally decide that you’re right for